Having kids, father gets no say ?

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Rina said:
Listen , like u said ur not a woman, so obviously ur NEVER gonna know what its like.
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I may not be the one pushing, but when my time comes to have a child with a woman, I will be extremely happy and will want to be part of every single process that entails a pregnancy.

Rina said:
than why is it that more and more women are trying to give brith this way?
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Failing economy? No money to pay hospital bills? Remember the reports quoted are from the states.
It could also be "Oh Mary and Dianne had their baby at home, maybe I should do it too!" We all know it's in our human nature (both men and women) to always one-up or at least par with someone else on everything. Humans are just weird that way.

I am not saying it's a bad practice, I just feel that the potential risks can cause too much of a loss if no one is there to help handle a situation. Heck, it's you and your man's baby, do as you please. Just please assess the risks multiple times before you make the final decision. The last thing I want to hear is a couple having lost their baby. :(

Rina said:
Have u ever read womens stories about their stay at the hospital while giving birth?
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Had an ex with a child and was with her for 3 years. Heard all about her story and her friends that also had babies.
Keep in mind that hospitals here in Canada are generally not comparable to the ones in most states.
She gave birth at the Credit Valley Hospital in sauga.
 
She can't be for real. What do you have against having a plethora of medical staff available in the unlikely event that something goes wrong?

Rina said:
Listen , like u said ur not a woman, so obviously ur NEVER gonna know what its like.
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Have YOU given birth before? If not, then you're not any more likely to understand what it's like. If you truly cared for the child coming out of you, I don't see why the hell you wouldn't take every single precaution that you could. I don't get the whole "I'm comfortable with my body so I'm giving birth at home" argument - it's not even about that.
 
knowledge said:
She can't be for real. What do you have against having a plethora of medical staff available in the unlikely event that something goes wrong?


Have YOU given birth before? If not, then you're not any more likely to understand what it's like. If you truly cared for the child coming out of you, I don't see why the hell you wouldn't take every single precaution that you could. I don't get the whole "I'm comfortable with my body so I'm giving birth at home" argument - it's not even about that.
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lol uhhh yea i am for real. I am not gonna start sharing my personal life on an internet forum, but i will say that i dont just speak out of my ***.

It all depends on what you want out of the birthing experience. Psychologically women think different then men. (Hence the OPs friends problem in the first place) We want the emotional stuff and we get caught up in it. So maybe thats why women want to have their kids at home and without all the chaos. Men are more analitical, they want everything to be done quick safe and pain-free. Ok lol i will stop there.

I dunno, to each their own I guess.
 
Rina said:
It all depends on what you want out of the birthing experience. Psychologically women think different then men. (Hence the OPs friends problem in the first place) We want the emotional stuff and we get caught up in it. So maybe thats why women want to have their kids at home and without all the chaos. Men are more analitical, they want everything to be done quick safe and pain-free.
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That's a good point. But I'm wondering whether the "emotional stuff" that you want out of it is worth it, at the expense of the baby's life (no matter how odd the case). You can opt out of epidurals at a hospital. Hospitals don't always make births quick (since it's dependent on the woman). So what exactly does that leave? Maybe the high from birth's better if you do it at home. But again, is that really what makes the risk worth it?
 
knowledge said:
That's a good point. But I'm wondering whether the "emotional stuff" that you want out of it is worth it, at the expense of the baby's life (no matter how odd the case). You can opt out of epidurals at a hospital. Hospitals don't always make births quick (since it's dependent on the woman). So what exactly does that leave? Maybe the high from birth's better if you do it at home. But again, is that really what makes the risk worth it?
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When u ride ur bike, would u say that u get some form of a "high" by doing it? And the risk of u possible dying (bcuz u never know what can happen) is always there, does that stop u from riding ur bike(and even if u take precautions by wearing ur gear etc. thats not always gonna save u )?
 
Having a birth at home seems alright to me. Been doing it for thousands of years, why stop now ?, because the hospital needs to get payed ?, because you'd rather get a giant needle in your spine to dull the pain ?.

I think society is going overboard anyway with all the safety ****. When I was younger, I'd be out in the playground swinging off tree branches, and playing guns with friends. Hell I knew all my neighbors, and even kids from a 4 block radius, cause we were all friends and played together. Now most parents keep the kids indoors, lock the door, sit them in front of a T.V and let it program the kid. When the T.V has had it's fill, it's time for the video games, and the computer / internet to take over.
 
Rina said:
When u ride ur bike, would u say that u get some form of a "high" by doing it? And the risk of u possible dying (bcuz u never know what can happen) is always there, does that stop u from riding ur bike(and even if u take precautions by wearing ur gear etc. thats not always gonna save u )?
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That isn't a good analogy because I'm only weighing MY life when I choose to continue riding. When you choose to give birth at home, you're making that decision for your life AND the baby's.

Dr. Manhattan, I'm sure we could both agree that just because it's tradition, doesn't mean that it's the best way. Overkill to give birth in a hospital? Maybe. But apparently, some people would rather be sorry (and high) than safe. It's not my place to tell a mother what to do with her baby, but she's kidding herself if she thinks that it makes more sense.
 
Thats the thing though, a womans body is made to give birth without assistance, so how is that being sorry?
 
We are getting to used to having everyone else do everything for us, politicians have to think for us, doctors have to take care of us..etc etc. we don't do anything natural anymore so Irina may have a point.


...where is my damm viagra?
 
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FWIW a medical abortion is actually safer than carrying a pregnancy to term


chew on that for a bit
 
caboose483 said:
Then why have women died during child birth all through human history?
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Personal story: My son wouldn't be alive today if we had a home based birth, even if a midwife was present. He went into respiratory distress when the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and my wife needed an emergency c-sec. To this day I'm thankful we were surrounded by all that medical staff and equipment. After birth, her first words were: "natural is way overrated".
 
If this guy is trying to convince this woman to have an abortion, which is dangerous and carries the possibility of killing her (yes, deaths and serious complications still happen in 2011), then she is better off severing all ties with the selfish jerkwad. It's her body, her say. She and that child would be better off without him in their lives.
 
This topic is way more complicated and no one is really going ot be right or wrong. There are many things to take into consideration

It happen to me once.

I really loved the girl...still do, she was probably the best thing it happened to me but I believe actually wanting to have the kid would have been selfish of both of us in many ways at that moment

Her life would have been put on hold and she would have to quit school
Our relationship was new and what happens if we separated, another kid without haven't a normal loving retaionship from both parents (i know we could have loved him/her but she would never have the love of growing up on a house with her two parents)

Now we are not together anymore and looking back would I want an abortion again, the truth is no, it seemed the right thing at the moment but now I kind of wish it had happened. Maybe the abortion was a big part of the separation who knows to late to guess.

Just to anyone, before you ask the other person to go through with an abortion, just ask yourself if you are willing to lose that person because you will.
 
Rina said:
When u ride ur bike, would u say that u get some form of a "high" by doing it? And the risk of u possible dying (bcuz u never know what can happen) is always there, does that stop u from riding ur bike(and even if u take precautions by wearing ur gear etc. thats not always gonna save u )?
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I worry that I'll crash, hit my head, and start talking/writing like that. Scares the bejebuz out of me.
 
FullMotoJacket said:
I worry that I'll crash, hit my head, and start talking/writing like that. Scares the bejebuz out of me.
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Like what? ...oh I see you are trying to sound smart by putting someone down, I get it. Pretty tipical of a keyboard warrior.
 
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If someone makes sense, I'll look past it. I don't see any here.
 
dpmachine said:
You are absolutely right. Abortion is dangerous. Pregnancy, however, is 100% safe and has never caused anyone any harm, ever.

Furthermore, abortion should be made illegal because having an abortion performed in a hospital or clinic by a medical doctor is just way too unsafe. Doing it in a back alley with a knitting needle or wire coathanger is far preferable.
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My friend had her's preformed at Mount Sinai by the way.
 
AdRath said:
I don't need to look up pictures of a 3 month fetus. I have seen them with 2 of my kids. If I take the emotion out of it they really are just a clump of cells.

I knew a guy who got deathly ill from minor dental surgery. I guess those are wrong also. The statistics prove its safe enough and far safer then driving in a car. All surgery has its risks.

You say you would never abort a baby... I'm curious what is that based on? Religion, medical, gross out factor? the thoughts of what it could become?
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I would never abort a baby because I'm not a murderer. Sure maybe in self defence, like if it jumps out and attacks me....
 
Rina said:
It all depends on what you want out of the birthing experience. Psychologically women think different then men. (Hence the OPs friends problem in the first place) We want the emotional stuff and we get caught up in it. So maybe thats why women want to have their kids at home and without all the chaos. Men are more analitical, they want everything to be done quick safe and pain-free. Ok lol i will stop there.

I dunno, to each their own I guess.
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What do I want to get out of the birthing experience? To get through it with a healthy child and minimal physical damage to my body. I don't have any romantic notions of "getting caught up in" the birthing experience, and I think it's ridiculous that you're speaking for all women. For those who are into it: good for them, it's their choice. But it's certainly not commonplace, and I'd bet you'd change your mind damn quickly the second you discovered you were pregnant.

Rina said:
Thats the thing though, a womans body is made to give birth without assistance, so how is that being sorry?
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Yes, and lots of women and children used to die during childbirth.
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