skitta
Well-known member
Wow! Are you a writer? This was so well-written. I may actually share your advice about camping with my son. He's getting married next week.
30 is an extremely BORRING age to be, Marriage rant
- Thread starter Roasted
- Start date
Wow! Are you a writer? This was so well-written. I may actually share your advice about camping with my son. He's getting married next week.
OpenGambit
Banned
Because its not enforceable (keep in mind that Quebec has a different legal system)
Under common law, only people who are a party to a contract can enforce its terms ( with limited exceptions ), so if you use a US example, only family can make certain decisions for terminally ill people. a same sex couple has a contract with each other but the hospital and immediate family tell you to piss off. That spouse has no remedy under the law because the hospital, and immediate family are not parties to that contract.
While marriage is essentailly a contract, it allows the indivduals to enforce those terms on others, that is fundamentailly different from the common law position, and thus must be dealt with using legislation.
Having gone through my 20's and 30's unscathed, here's my take. YMMV. TL;DR warning.
Background - riding since 25 (I'm 42), been in relationship for 17 years, no kids, and almost no kids in my immediate family-peers (brother/sisters/dozens of first cousins, all round the same age... family curse probably!). So OP, the weddings and related ceremonials will come and go, but that's certainly not 100% of your free time.
For me, 30's was lots of fun, exploring different parts of the world, developing new, more challenging hobbies/interests e.g. earning private pilots license and flying all over. Hanging with single friends (and sometimes long-term couples without children, but they are rare). The best part is that at that age, very few people in your circle will have health issues, so it's relatively care-free, minimal drama. Friends that end up having kids stop hanging out with us because there's nothing in common anymore (parents these days are completely devoted to their suburbian kid-driven lifestyle) - totally sensible since if they hang out with friends with kids, it's just easier (simultaneous baby sitting/playgroup) and more to talk about.
By my 40's, I'm know exactly what I like to do, and have no interest in exploring new hobbies where I know I wouldn't be into it (e.g. sky-diving, sewing my own clothes, major charity work (been there/done that), etc.). We've been all over the world (at least to the parts we want to see), and done pretty much anything "new" that we want to do. 20 years without kids gives you a lot of time, and it was nice that money/debt was never an issue.
My career is going pretty good and I don't feel stressed out by the work as I get lots of rest - full 10 hours of sleep. I'm the best shape of my life (with the least amount of gym effort - age slows down your metabolism and body changes so if you eat less, the gym effect seems to last longer), and I still get carded occasionally. For me, I think the problem now is too much direction-less free time. It's hard to find the "thrill" from a brand-new experience that I'm really into. - can understand the thoughts behind Jorge Luis Borges' 1947 short story "The Immortals".
Anyways, if you end up having kids, then obv your time will be filled with kids and related family stuff (just wasn't my thing) . We're friends with a couple that aren't interested in having kids (she's 27, he's 39) but the peer pressure on them must be excruciating since all their friends are having kids. Still, their view (like mine) is that the planet has 7 billion people - does it really need more?
I got previews of my 50's and 60's and from my friends in that age range and without kids. These couples are either dealing with their own health issues (perhaps more obsessively since there's else nothing major to focus on), or end up being the default caregivers for their elderly parents. Depending on the state of health of the parents, this is almost a full time job, since their siblings with children use their own "hectic schedule and family commitments" as an excuse for not doing their fair share or $ contributions. Sure, there'll be be the same-old/same-old vacations and hobbies - but how many times can someone with a high-thrill threshold go on cruises, Mexico, RV around the U.S., track-days, etc.
The one real constant in my life that sucks up a lot of time/energy is the global financial markets - both a hobby and career since I was 18. It's the greatest, ever-changing, fascinating sh*t-show on the planet. No barriers to entry - anyone can play, anywhere, anytime. Will probably be doing that until they pull the plug on my death bed. I think that's the key to leading a satisfying life -finding that one constant. For some people, it's kids; for other's is track days; sadly, for some, it's destructive (e.g. addicts/serial killers/psychopaths).
It's because only intelligent, legally-aware individuals would think of that. How many average, run-of-the-mill Canadian (I picture barely Tim Hortons worker, retail minions, truck driver, waitress, hotel worker, recent immigrants, farm workers, long term unemployed/welfare cases...) fits into that category?
Those rights automatically come to all couples who are legally able to get married - saves a lots of thinking!
Background - riding since 25 (I'm 42), been in relationship for 17 years, no kids, and almost no kids in my immediate family-peers (brother/sisters/dozens of first cousins, all round the same age... family curse probably!). So OP, the weddings and related ceremonials will come and go, but that's certainly not 100% of your free time.
For me, 30's was lots of fun, exploring different parts of the world, developing new, more challenging hobbies/interests e.g. earning private pilots license and flying all over. Hanging with single friends (and sometimes long-term couples without children, but they are rare). The best part is that at that age, very few people in your circle will have health issues, so it's relatively care-free, minimal drama. Friends that end up having kids stop hanging out with us because there's nothing in common anymore (parents these days are completely devoted to their suburbian kid-driven lifestyle) - totally sensible since if they hang out with friends with kids, it's just easier (simultaneous baby sitting/playgroup) and more to talk about.
By my 40's, I'm know exactly what I like to do, and have no interest in exploring new hobbies where I know I wouldn't be into it (e.g. sky-diving, sewing my own clothes, major charity work (been there/done that), etc.). We've been all over the world (at least to the parts we want to see), and done pretty much anything "new" that we want to do. 20 years without kids gives you a lot of time, and it was nice that money/debt was never an issue.
My career is going pretty good and I don't feel stressed out by the work as I get lots of rest - full 10 hours of sleep. I'm the best shape of my life (with the least amount of gym effort - age slows down your metabolism and body changes so if you eat less, the gym effect seems to last longer), and I still get carded occasionally. For me, I think the problem now is too much direction-less free time. It's hard to find the "thrill" from a brand-new experience that I'm really into. - can understand the thoughts behind Jorge Luis Borges' 1947 short story "The Immortals".
Anyways, if you end up having kids, then obv your time will be filled with kids and related family stuff (just wasn't my thing) . We're friends with a couple that aren't interested in having kids (she's 27, he's 39) but the peer pressure on them must be excruciating since all their friends are having kids. Still, their view (like mine) is that the planet has 7 billion people - does it really need more?
I got previews of my 50's and 60's and from my friends in that age range and without kids. These couples are either dealing with their own health issues (perhaps more obsessively since there's else nothing major to focus on), or end up being the default caregivers for their elderly parents. Depending on the state of health of the parents, this is almost a full time job, since their siblings with children use their own "hectic schedule and family commitments" as an excuse for not doing their fair share or $ contributions. Sure, there'll be be the same-old/same-old vacations and hobbies - but how many times can someone with a high-thrill threshold go on cruises, Mexico, RV around the U.S., track-days, etc.
The one real constant in my life that sucks up a lot of time/energy is the global financial markets - both a hobby and career since I was 18. It's the greatest, ever-changing, fascinating sh*t-show on the planet. No barriers to entry - anyone can play, anywhere, anytime. Will probably be doing that until they pull the plug on my death bed. I think that's the key to leading a satisfying life -finding that one constant. For some people, it's kids; for other's is track days; sadly, for some, it's destructive (e.g. addicts/serial killers/psychopaths).
It's because only intelligent, legally-aware individuals would think of that. How many average, run-of-the-mill Canadian (I picture barely Tim Hortons worker, retail minions, truck driver, waitress, hotel worker, recent immigrants, farm workers, long term unemployed/welfare cases...) fits into that category?
Those rights automatically come to all couples who are legally able to get married - saves a lots of thinking!
Been with same woman for 22 years, not married, no kids. Seen plenty of friends get married and that's not a problem, never felt any pressure. When they have kids though everything changes. I've lost touch with many that have gone the family route. I can't see past the sleepless nights waking up to a small person carrying crap around with them while chuntering up milky sick over you and simultaneously emptying your bank account and depriving you of any time to have fun at an age where you're in the best shape to enjoy it. But maybe that's just me. I also find that babies all look the damn same, no matter how much you tell me they are gorgeous, no they aren't, they look like mini burns victims, and they aren't smiling or gurgling, they've just shat themselves again.
Edit: forgot to say that I lost touch with them as they become so damn boring. I want to scratch my eyes out when you describe your little Damien's first bowel movement or that they took their first steps or that they have chicken pox.
Edit: forgot to say that I lost touch with them as they become so damn boring. I want to scratch my eyes out when you describe your little Damien's first bowel movement or that they took their first steps or that they have chicken pox.
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I would posit that the government is also a signatory, of such a contract, due to the potential of having to support abandoned spouses and children.
Exactly!!
BY the way, just to clear the air I've only been dating my chick for like 6 months and no one, including her, is putting any pressure on me to get married at this point. Not even my parents. I'll admit that with all the wedding junk her friends and family are going through, I'm a little scared she might start getting ideas, but so far so good. I'm also enjoying my life and to be honest, outside of the actual wedding events I occasionally have to attend, my life can be pretty entertaining. The thread was more of a general observation about what I see other people I know around my age doing.
Ok ok...the truth is that I made the thread after I found out that a chick I went on a couple dates with about a year ago just got engaged (obviously not to me lol....I still talk to her from time to time though). The ironic part is that she claimed I was "pushing for commitment" which was one of the reasons things didn't work out between us yet here she is engaged like a year later. In fact, this is a recurring theme in my life as there have been quite a few women who I've dated, some even claimed to be "scared of commitment", that got engaged less than a year after we stopped talking. Some even got MARRIED less than a year after! In fact, I honestly don't think I have ANY exes that are NOT married. After seeing this I basically think that every chick 25-35 is secretly dreaming about that ring even if the crap coming out of her mouth, is the complete opposite (or maybe they're just saying what they think I want to hear). My girl right now doesn't seem the marriage type either but I bet if I got down on one knee tomorrow, she'd be jumping for joy and saying 'yes'.
And yes, I still occasionally go clubbing with my buddies.
Ok ok...the truth is that I made the thread after I found out that a chick I went on a couple dates with about a year ago just got engaged (obviously not to me lol....I still talk to her from time to time though). The ironic part is that she claimed I was "pushing for commitment" which was one of the reasons things didn't work out between us yet here she is engaged like a year later. In fact, this is a recurring theme in my life as there have been quite a few women who I've dated, some even claimed to be "scared of commitment", that got engaged less than a year after we stopped talking. Some even got MARRIED less than a year after! In fact, I honestly don't think I have ANY exes that are NOT married. After seeing this I basically think that every chick 25-35 is secretly dreaming about that ring even if the crap coming out of her mouth, is the complete opposite (or maybe they're just saying what they think I want to hear). My girl right now doesn't seem the marriage type either but I bet if I got down on one knee tomorrow, she'd be jumping for joy and saying 'yes'.
And yes, I still occasionally go clubbing with my buddies.
Are you sure you aren't coming off a cycle? Sounds like your estrogen is a little high!
vrus
Well-known member
i dare you
Are you sure you aren't coming off a cycle? Sounds like your estrogen is a little high!
LOL so far I've pretty much agreed with every one of your posts in this thread, so in that spirit, I'll reread my post to see if I indeed sound like a giant vagina
LOL, NOT A CHANCE!
hmmmm sounds like this guy...
[video=youtube;AG6kMQuTyX0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG6kMQuTyX0[/video]
dr_sarcasm
Well-known member
Are you sure you aren't coming off a cycle? Sounds like your estrogen is a little high!
:lmao:
Bloody hell that was well timed.
:lmao:
dr_sarcasm
Well-known member
yeah must be cause I'm butt ugly. Too bad there is no cure for stupid....don't be bitter
I love it when you're this fiesty! You're going to make a wonderful ex-Mrs. Sarcasm one day... :agave:
100% agree on this. My brother had a wedding completely different then all my friends and cousins. He had it done at a golf club. Oh my, it was way cheaper and way way more beautiful than any of the other done in churches and banquet halls.
Most of peeps who saw my bro’s wedding were kicking themsleves for not having that idea. I repeat you cannot compete with a natural beauty of a golf course for a wedding.
BTW…if your marrying a Indian or Asian girl. Prepare to pay through the nose in addition to an arm and a leg.
You can screw an Indian or Asian girl, but do not marry them.
Most of peeps who saw my bro’s wedding were kicking themsleves for not having that idea. I repeat you cannot compete with a natural beauty of a golf course for a wedding.
BTW…if your marrying a Indian or Asian girl. Prepare to pay through the nose in addition to an arm and a leg.
You can screw an Indian or Asian girl, but do not marry them.
What, you've never heard of Dowry?
I have, the bride's parents give you a cow and a parcel of land to build your house upon.
OpenGambit
Banned
I don't see how they can be a signatuory without the marriage as you say "being recognized by the government". I also don't see how that solves the hypothetical hospital issue.
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By writing that section out of the government's rights vs. responsibilities. There already exist certain criteria for pulling the plug and treatment of non responsive patients. Government has no interest in certain things, which would be mapped out in the default contract. If the contract is vacated (divorce) in favour of another, then some issues are no longer pertinent.
Third party, with fiduciary interest.
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