30 is an extremely BORRING age to be, Marriage rant

Red695 said:
You were the one generalizing, not me. And no, my mother stays out of guilt and because she has been with my dad since she was 17, I guess.
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your mother may be staying out of guilt, but she's also doing it to spite your father.

as for who's the one generalizing, i can read the qualifiers used in your post and in mine to judge that.

again, your parents' (and probably your) experience does not a society make.
 
i wonder how many people here who are disparaging the institution of marriage would still turn around and deny that right to same sex couples. . .
 
afong56 said:
i wonder how many people here who are disparaging the institution of marriage would still turn around and deny that right to same sex couples. . .
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I'm sure many of them would tell me that I have the right to be just as miserable as everyone else. :D
 
afong56 said:
i wonder how many people here who are disparaging the institution of marriage would still turn around and deny that right to same sex couples. . .
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I wouldn't deny it to same sex couples; they have as much right to be miserable as anyone else.

I would deny the 'right' for it to be recognized by government. That's nothing big, though, because I would deny that 'right' to couples of the opposite sex too. I don't think that government has any business saying anything about marriage, period, apart from its aspects that fall under contract law. Hell, marry a flock of sheep or your GSCBRXFZ1300RRR, for all I care. Just remember that you're contractually obligated to take care of it/them, and any baaaaaahing offspring that might ensue.
 
afong56 said:
i think many people who get divorced don't take the whole marriage thing seriously enough.

i'm not speaking of people who suffer abuse (psychological or physical)--they need to get out of the relationship, stat--but about those who think marriage doesn't take effort or work. . .those who got married on a whim, and now get divorced, seemingly on a whim.

i think the people who "choose" to stay married, and work at their marriage, and give it a good honest chance, are the ones we should seek as exemplars.
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I am not going to continue a debate with you afong, as it is clear from other threads that you are always right despite the fact that you make no sense.
But the above are your generalizations. All I said was some of us do take marriage seriously and still get divorced and that just because someone is married a long time does not mean you should look to them as "exemplars". There is no possible way for a sane person to argue that. Just fyi.
 
Red695 said:
I am not going to continue a debate with you afong, as it is clear from other threads that you are always right despite the fact that you make no sense.
But the above are your generalizations. All I said was some of us do take marriage seriously and still get divorced and that just because someone is married a long time does not mean you should look to them as "exemplars". There is no possible way for a sane person to argue that. Just fyi.
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the funny thing is, we are not debating. i clearly wrote "many" people don't take marriage seriously, not "all". that is not an overstatement. and i acknowledged that people who try to make it work, like your parents did, should get a divorce. i qualified those statements specifically, but you read generalizations. . .

and where exactly did i write that people who just stayed married for a long time should be exemplars? read what i actually wrote.

i think you just want to argue, frankly, because you built two straw men and called them generalizations.
 
Red695 said:
I am not going to continue a debate with you afong, as it is clear from other threads that you are always right despite the fact that you make no sense.
But the above are your generalizations. All I said was some of us do take marriage seriously and still get divorced and that just because someone is married a long time does not mean you should look to them as "exemplars". There is no possible way for a sane person to argue that. Just fyi.
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As certain people on this thread have admitted they are unattractive and so is their spouse by saying they didn't marry for looks I will just say to you that ugly people who marry other ugly people don't have a position on marriage worth listening to. If you want to discuss settling because you couldn't do any better than that's another story and then certain people might have valid points. And I'm all for fags and dykes marrying
 
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afong56 said:
the funny thing is, we are not debating. i clearly wrote "many" people don't take marriage seriously, not "all". that is not an overstatement. and i acknowledged that people who try to make it work, like your parents did, should get a divorce. i qualified those statements specifically, but you read generalizations. . .

and where exactly did i write that people who just stayed married for a long time should be exemplars? read what i actually wrote.

i think you just want to argue, frankly, because you built two straw men and called them generalizations.
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I'm done. You proved my point. Congrats.

And it is not "funny" it is annoying.

And my parents are extremely good looking.
 
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Great thread, Roasted. Does your gf care if you go clubbing & stuff with your buddies?

Red695, I think that's what led afong to think you were generalizing:
Red695 said:
I really believe the only reason people don't get divorced is because they choose to stay married.
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I would've thought you were generalizing too, if you didn't clarify it afterwards.

I don't see the point of marrying, but I'd probably do it 'cause it'd mean more to her than it would to me.

I have a lot of older friends and I notice a lot of people getting married and then having a kid immediately after - that's the only thing I DON'T want to do. I'd want to travel and have some fun before the kids starting tying us down :o
 
I married my wife at 25 with no problems. The key I guess is the fact that we lived together for five years before we got hitched and Im really glad we did it that way, no surprises with each other. I find the only reason we get flack now is because we dont have any kids and most of our friends have two or three. We get **** from our families actually telling us we're selfish for not having kids, i cant even believe how they think sometimes. I married my wife for her, not her baby-making ability, and I knew no one else would put up with me. But we're happy, the key is staying busy. Take your girl, see the world. OP dont worry about your peeps, the one thing that I know for a fact that despite parents loving their kids with all their hearts, there are days when ur telling them about how you and ur girl just got back from Aruba, all the while their kids are running around putting food on the walls and the parents have this look on their face like they would just die to be you for a day. And why is it every time a couple with kids will always tell you"youre missing out", they got one kid by the throat and holding another kid in the air by the back of his pants, lol. Dont get me wrong I love kids, but Im in no hurry to fill my crib with the sound of 3am crying fits, and my passport has yet to expire. Live life while you have it!! If you got a badass chick, dont be afraid to put a ring on it, theres no mandatory rule u have to put a baby in it!
 
I was married when I was 26. I was divorced by 28. I did it as it seemed to be the normal course of action at that time.

I have no desire to re-marry. My only desire is to LIVE every day. Marriage does not define happiness for me. Recently was dating someone who very desperately wanted to get married. Evertime I spoke or saw him I would literally have a panic attack. Sorry, I can't spend my weekends at Home Dept/Costco/Candian Tire/Children's B-day parties etc. I just can't and I won't.

Most of the the people that were married the same time I was have lost their passion for life. Everytime we get together they talk about the good ol'days (Highschool/University)....my good ol'days haven't stopped.

I don't think anyone should get married before 33. Go live your life and discover who you are. I don't even recognize the person I was at 26.
 
Idk, most of the people around me who aren't married are with somebody, but they got kids and live together, I'm not sure which situation is better, mine or theirs.
 
Rob MacLennan said:
I wouldn't deny it to same sex couples; they have as much right to be miserable as anyone else.

I would deny the 'right' for it to be recognized by government. That's nothing big, though, because I would deny that 'right' to couples of the opposite sex too. I don't think that government has any business saying anything about marriage, period, apart from its aspects that fall under contract law. Hell, marry a flock of sheep or your GSCBRXFZ1300RRR, for all I care. Just remember that you're contractually obligated to take care of it/them, and any baaaaaahing offspring that might ensue.
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The reality is that spouses have rights that are granted based on their relationship with the indivdual, that is not contractual ( or doesn't make sense to classify it as such). These include

Survivorship Rights
Rights to make certain decisions in certain medical realities
Wills - rights on intestacy
Taxes - Lots
Support
Adoption

and the list goes on.


So in a way, being recognized by government is the important part. (most easily dealt with in defining spouse as including same sex couples in Acts)
 
OpenGambit said:
The reality is that spouses have rights that are granted based on their relationship with the indivdual, that is not contractual ( or doesn't make sense to classify it as such). These include Survivorship Rights Rights to make certain decisions in certain medical realities Wills - rights on intestacy Taxes - Lots Support Adoption and the list goes on. So in a way, being recognized by government is the important part. (most easily dealt with in defining spouse as including same sex couples in Acts)
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I see no reason why these things cannot be folded into a contract. After all, they pretty much do it already, in Quebec.
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