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[油井緋色]

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I must be ugly as **** or doing something wrong then cause I'm waaaay bellow that. Went on two in like a month and a half (well, 4 but I'm only counting 1st dates with different women).

EDIT: And this is why with the last chick we met up after exchanging like 10 messages the same day. Chatting for weeks is a waste of time cause establishing a connection through text/messages rarely translates to real life. If a chick is not interested in meeting up almost right away, chances are she never will or she's ugly as **** IRL so she thinks that once she has you committed enough after wasting weeks on her, you will look past the ugly. Either way, waste of time.

There are other sites/apps aside from Tinder. Try OKCupid or PlentyOfFish.

Compared to real life dating, online dating is crap. In real life, you have a set of parameters that attract you to someone. Online, it's literally "hi you're hot lets shag". Lets say you do bang them; then you find out they're a complete lunatic (I've had one girl who fainted in front of my drive way, and another who had massive daddy issues) because you didn't know them very well and now they're attached to you.

Even if you pass that point and get into a relationship, you could dump your all into someone for x number of years and have it all go to hell. Google long term relationship breakups on reddit and you'll see examples of 10 year relationships ending with the woman sucking another man's dick.

A wise old man once told me "Focus on developing yourself and your passions, the girl will come naturally". That phrase is making a lot more sense now.

SPOILER: Old man is not that old and is on these boards.

 

[RockerGuy]

There are other sites/apps aside from Tinder. Try OKCupid or PlentyOfFish.

Compared to real life dating, online dating is crap. In real life, you have a set of parameters that attract you to someone. Online, it's literally "hi you're hot lets shag". Lets say you do bang them; then you find out they're a complete lunatic (I've had one girl who fainted in front of my drive way, and another who had massive daddy issues) because you didn't know them very well and now they're attached to you.

Even if you pass that point and get into a relationship, you could dump your all into someone for x number of years and have it all go to hell. Google long term relationship breakups on reddit and you'll see examples of 10 year relationships ending with the woman sucking another man's dick.

A wise old man once told me "Focus on developing yourself and your passions, the girl will come naturally". That phrase is making a lot more sense now.

SPOILER: Old man is not that old and is on these boards.

What's different in real life compared to online? In real life if you meet them at a bar, you don't know what you're gonna get either. With online I assume you can tell what hobbies they enjoy yada yada

 

[油井緋色]

What's different in real life compared to online? In real life if you meet them at a bar, you don't know what you're gonna get either. With online I assume you can tell what hobbies they enjoy yada yada

By real life, I mean you've met them before. Maybe they're the coworker that helps you out a lot or a friend that has put up with your whining for years (while you did for her too). There are some real connections between you two there.

If it's a random pick up at a club, you're rolling the same set of dice as online dating.

 

[RockerGuy]

By real life, I mean you've met them before. Maybe they're the coworker that helps you out a lot or a friend that has put up with your whining for years (while you did for her too). There are some real connections between you two there.

If it's a random pick up at a club, you're rolling the same set of dice as online dating.

Well I agree with you there. If you're dating a friend or someone you've seen awhile then it's different.

I've tried POF & haven't had as much luck. Maybe I have high standards or maybe I'm butt ugly. With Tinder you at least know they kinda like you so you don't spend half hour composing a message & get no response

 

[油井緋色]

Well I agree with you there. If you're dating a friend or someone you've seen awhile then it's different.

I've tried POF & haven't had as much luck. Maybe I have high standards or maybe I'm butt ugly. With Tinder you at least know they kinda like you so you don't spend half hour composing a message & get no response

Both you and Roasted should stop thinking yourselves as ugly =P Confidence will do you amazing things to attract women.

Online dating is still a numbers game. I've had a female friend adjust my profile to be more "likable". I got a bump in responses (up from 25% to 33%) but found none of them to be compatible after the first date. When I readjusted my profile to reflect who I am and what my interests are, the response rates shot down to 15%.

Honestly, I think we should just use these apps as a social experiment.

"What kind of pictures attract the most responses" is what I'll try when it gets warmer lol

 

[RockerGuy]

Both you and Roasted should stop thinking yourselves as ugly =P Confidence will do you amazing things to attract women.

Online dating is still a numbers game. I've had a female friend adjust my profile to be more "likable". I got a bump in responses (up from 25% to 33%) but found none of them to be compatible after the first date. When I readjusted my profile to reflect who I am and what my interests are, the response rates shot down to 15%.

Honestly, I think we should just use these apps as a social experiment.

"What kind of pictures attract the most responses" is what I'll try when it gets warmer lol

Take home message? Don't be yourself, lol.

I see alot of women's images overexposed & probably not a good reflection of what they look like

 

[油井緋色]

Take home message? Don't be yourself, lol.

I see alot of women's images overexposed & probably not a good reflection of what they look like

Actually, just be yourself if you're looking for something real.

On second thought, I'm gonna remove those photos I posted because being mean is bad lol

The stupidest thing is when a girl's profile is full of "LOOK AT MY TITTIES" shots and then it says "I don't want hook ups"

.........well what the **** did you think you were going to get with those photos?!?!?!?!

 

[bboySushi]

Dude don't try too hard. You'll end up forcing/tricking yourself into liking a girl and then later finding out the relationship is empty and there's no real connection.

Can't tell you how many times I thought I really liked a girl, then actually went out a few times and realized they're definitely not for me. But sometimes you don't get as lucky and you realize after months, years.

Sure you can attract more girls by not being you, but really that defeats the point doesn't it.

 

[油井緋色]

Dude don't try too hard. You'll end up forcing/tricking yourself into liking a girl and then later finding out the relationship is empty and there's no real connection.

Can't tell you how many times I thought I really liked a girl, then actually went out a few times and realized they're definitely not for me. But sometimes you don't get as lucky and you realize after months, years.

Sure you can attract more girls by not being you, but really that defeats the point doesn't it.

+1

I was in a 5 year relationship that started because I didn't want to be single. The scariest thought is "what if I missed meeting someone amazing because I was too busy in an unhappy relationship".

 

[RockerGuy]

Everytime I ask about a girl's ex bf she tells me she wasn't really "into" him. Wtf???

 

[油井緋色]

Everytime I ask about a girl's ex bf she tells me she wasn't really "into" him. Wtf???

Because some women are ****ed in the head.

I'm restraining myself from typing anything directed at exs, but trust me...you're better off single, with an open mind, and waiting for the right person.

...otherwise you end up like me, ****** off, jaded, and more ****** off.

 

[-D-]

What the hell are you guys doing?
You sound like a bunch of whiny insecure *beeps*

Here let me make it easier for you.
Define who you are, make a framework of things you stand for.
Framework as in macro not every little detail about yourself.
Politics, religion, abortion, hobbies, type of sex you are into, movies you like, sense of humor, clothing/ your style, foods you like etc...

If you do not know who you are and what you stand for then how the hell do you expect a stranger to figure it our for you. If you are confused then they will be too and most women do not like or are not attracted to weak insecure men with no spine or vision.
Why do you think women say, damn, gimme a man...a man than drives them wild and challenge

Now define the type of women that you are attracted to. They have a primary and secondary traits.
This is my list and it not about looks because by default attraction is not a choice.
If you know YOUR style then this part will occur because you will only focus on what you like.

1. nerdy
2. sporty
3. artsy
4. party girl

When you first meet, don't talk about your job or boring things.
You ride a bike tell stories about those adventures but do NOT dominate the conversation or get into a pissing contest with her.
Find out what she is into first then add your interests.
When you first meet 15 minutes to 20 minutes of chatting.

First date, coffee shop or pack a nice little backpack with some hot cider/tea/coffee/ wine etc...
toss in some cheese and crackers along with some fruits (grapes, strawberries) and chocolate.

Go for a walk in a cool area (Edwards Gardens) then just look around and chat as you walk. Be yourself, share your jokes.
Tell her you have one simple request on this date...for her to be herself.

Now if you are getting along then great (date should be 1-1.5 hours max) if you are not then YOU SAY hey, I don't feel we are on the same page, maybe you have other things on your mind, let's head back. AND keep chatting about stuff she was talking about to prevent the awkward silence. BE the MAN and be the LEADER. Women will say things that sound contradictory but in reality they need certain things. If you can not stand up to them they will see you as weak and feel that you can not stand up to the world to protect them. If he can't stand up to me then how can I trust he can stand up to the world for me...see how that sounds contradictory but when you examine it there is more to it.

Again, you have to know who you are and what you want. You also need to let her know some of these things and as well you better get it our of her if she is not opening up to you. Learn to be charming NOT boring. Learn to be engaging. Be fun and interesting, be able to speak on broad interest of topics but not in a know it all way where you make her feel dumb.

If you provide your framework, she will decide if she accepts it/you or not.
If yes=great
If no= great for both of you because you don't waste your time and feelings

Women can tell when you are weak and desperate.
It's shows by how you walk and how you speak.

Personally, I enjoy the company of cute nerdy/sporty/artsy women. I will interchange the artsy and sporty but intelligence is my primary trait that I look for.

Know who you are and what you stand for. A man that stands for nothing will fall for anything.
A woman wants to feel a certain type of energy when she is around you, you have to make her feel weak and strong.
You have to know when to engage by knowing and observing her.
It's like sex, if you know each other well and can sense her body then you know when she wants it rough or slow (like the movies).
You should be able to lean into a woman's ear and lower your voice and say something "dirty/sexy" and make her go wild, just a few words in a random way, hey this popped into my mind and I thought you would look hot in that dress so I can do naughty things to you.
Do NOT exhale into ear when you are that close, hold your breathe. When you finish saying what you have to say, kiss her neck or lick her neck or softly bite her ear lobe and hold it for 3 seconds. Then go back to normal conversation as if nothing happened, say something like who picked those colors for that sign or oh look, is that spiderman man up there...insert something from the environment to shift her attention but in reality she will be so locked into what you just did...then later lean into her again and say something sexy, I love it when you are wet, such a turn on. If only we had a secret out of the way spot I would show you how much you are tuning me on. Then go back and talk about music, food, etc...

Please do NOT talk about VIDEO GAMES. If you are under 25 and she expresses her likes then fine.
If not, shut up about it. They don't want to hear about how brave you are in Call of Duty.

I am available for hire to provide you more detailed and tailored information.

 

[Schneller]

What the hell are you guys doing?
You sound like a bunch of whiny insecure *beeps*

Here let me make it easier for you.
Define who you are, make a framework of things you stand for.
Framework as in macro not every little detail about yourself.
Politics, religion, abortion, hobbies, type of sex you are into, movies you like, sense of humor, clothing/ your style, foods you like etc...

If you do not know who you are and what you stand for then how the hell do you expect a stranger to figure it our for you. If you are confused then they will be too and most women do not like or are not attracted to weak insecure men with no spine or vision.
Why do you think women say, damn, gimme a man...a man than drives them wild and challenge

Now define the type of women that you are attracted to. They have a primary and secondary traits.
This is my list and it not about looks because by default attraction is not a choice.
If you know YOUR style then this part will occur because you will only focus on what you like.

1. nerdy
2. sporty
3. artsy
4. party girl

When you first meet, don't talk about your job or boring things.
You ride a bike tell stories about those adventures but do NOT dominate the conversation or get into a pissing contest with her.
Find out what she is into first then add your interests.
When you first meet 15 minutes to 20 minutes of chatting.

First date, coffee shop or pack a nice little backpack with some hot cider/tea/coffee/ wine etc...
toss in some cheese and crackers along with some fruits (grapes, strawberries) and chocolate.

Go for a walk in a cool area (Edwards Gardens) then just look around and chat as you walk. Be yourself, share your jokes.
Tell her you have one simple request on this date...for her to be herself.

Now if you are getting along then great (date should be 1-1.5 hours max) if you are not then YOU SAY hey, I don't feel we are on the same page, maybe you have other things on your mind, let's head back. AND keep chatting about stuff she was talking about to prevent the awkward silence. BE the MAN and be the LEADER. Women will say things that sound contradictory but in reality they need certain things. If you can not stand up to them they will see you as weak and feel that you can not stand up to the world to protect them. If he can't stand up to me then how can I trust he can stand up to the world for me...see how that sounds contradictory but when you examine it there is more to it.

Again, you have to know who you are and what you want. You also need to let her know some of these things and as well you better get it our of her if she is not opening up to you. Learn to be charming NOT boring. Learn to be engaging. Be fun and interesting, be able to speak on broad interest of topics but not in a know it all way where you make her feel dumb.

If you provide your framework, she will decide if she accepts it/you or not.
If yes=great
If no= great for both of you because you don't waste your time and feelings

Women can tell when you are weak and desperate.
It's shows by how you walk and how you speak.
...
Please do NOT talk about VIDEO GAMES. If you are under 25 and she expresses her likes then fine.
If not, shut up about it. They don't want to hear about how brave you are in Call of Duty.

I am available for hire to provide you more detailed and tailored information.

Generally spot-on advice, but we're talking RockerGuy and Roasted here. It might be better that they pretend to be not themselves.

 

[Roasted]

I was joking about being ugly.......for the record, I know I'm decent looking. Physique wise I'm probably in the 95th+ percentile assuming a chick is into fit guys. Chick I hooked up with off tinder recently would not shut up about how good looking I am and how I must get hit on a lot, etc. The problem I have with talking to most women about their thoughts and interest is that I find that most attractive women have the mental depth of a puddle.

Q: What kind of music are you into?
A: I listen to everything except for country.

Q: What do you do for fun?
A: I watch tv and party with my friends?

etc. How do you even feign interest and NOT dominate the conversation with someone who is so damn boring and gives you nothing to work with? The middle eastern chick I mentioned earlier in the thread was an exception to that rule and was actually very interesting but there was no sexual chemistry so it was kind of the reverse. Funny enough I actually had a couple cool conversations with women at a bar recently about classical music (mostly violin) and jazz and found that very refreshing. Would have been even better if their boyfriend wasn't standing right next to them the entire time but it was still cool.

 

[Roasted]

Everytime I ask about a girl's ex bf she tells me she wasn't really "into" him. Wtf???

I NEVER, EVER, ask about exes.......don't know, don't care to be honest.

 

[-D-]

I was joking about being ugly.......for the record, I know I'm decent looking. Physique wise I'm probably in the 95th+ percentile assuming a chick is into fit guys. Chick I hooked up with off tinder recently would not shut up about how good looking I am and how I must get hit on a lot, etc. The problem I have with talking to most women about their thoughts and interest is that I find that most attractive women have the mental depth of a puddle.

Q: What kind of music are you into?
A: I listen to everything except for country.

Q: What do you do for fun?
A: I watch tv and party with my friends?

etc. How do you even feign interest and NOT dominate the conversation with someone who is so damn boring and gives you nothing to work with? The middle eastern chick I mentioned earlier in the thread was an exception to that rule and was actually very interesting but there was no sexual chemistry so it was kind of the reverse. Funny enough I actually had a couple cool conversations with women at a bar recently about classical music (mostly violin) and jazz and found that very refreshing. Would have been even better if their boyfriend wasn't standing right next to them the entire time but it was still cool.

Dude, go read my post again above.
it seems you went out with style #4 (her answer told you that)

If they bore you then be a MAN and say, hey it doesn't seem that we share the same interest. I am sure you would make a good friend however I don't sense the compatibility that I am looking for.

If you are looking for fun then treat the encounter as that and let her know you are just out exploring and having fun.
If you are looking for relationship or finding women that you like in the hopes it heads down the path to a good relationship then deal with it upfront.
Why would you complain that she is dense 3 months in? That's YOUR fault, not hers.

Again, know who you are and have a foundation/framework to present.
When a woman asks what are you looking for, you better be able to recite that framework like a machine gun. If you act and answer with uncertainty then you just lowered your value in her eyes.

 

[sonnythebull]

Funny enough I actually had a couple cool conversations with women at a bar recently about classical music (mostly violin) and jazz and found that very refreshing. Would have been even better if their boyfriend wasn't standing right next to them the entire time but it was still cool.

You are fit , talk about your feelings way too much and talk about violin and jazz music.....can anyone guess why you aren't more successful with women? Anyone? Hello frisco!!!

 

[Roasted]

I was not talking about a specific girl. I'm talking about 90% of the women I go on dates with and yeah, those dates rarely go past date #1. I don't know where you got the 3 month thing from, I've never dated a woman more then a month where our personalities weren't at least a bit compatible.

Also, I have my own style. I'm not a fitness guy, biker guy, artsy guy, music guy, history guy, or whatever stereotypical categories you can come up with.......I think for myself and refuse to fit myself into a box......I'm all those things.......so I'm not gonna go out and say "my style fits neatly into this stereotype" so I'm going to look for a girl like that. I like to think that people are more complex then that and you cannot judge people and understand their personality from a 5 minute conversation or (especially) a bunch of pics on an online profile. That's the whole point of dating. Also, just cause I'm open to something more serious doesn't mean I can't have some fun with women that fit the "great right now" category but don't necessarily meet the bar for "great forever" (or at least a long time) because oh no, I'm in "GF" seeking mode. I've never gotten into a relationship because I was in "I want a GF" mode......I've gotten into relationships because I've met women that I saw myself dating.

 

[sonnythebull]

I was not talking about a specific girl. I'm talking about 90% of the women I go on dates with and yeah, those dates rarely go past date #1. I don't know where you got the 3 month thing from, I've never dated a woman more then a month where our personalities weren't at least a bit compatible.

Also, I have my own style. I'm not a fitness guy, biker guy, artsy guy, music guy, history guy, or whatever stereotypical categories you can come up with.......I think for myself and refuse to fit myself into a box......I'm all those things.......so I'm not gonna go out and say "my style fits neatly into this stereotype" so I'm going to look for a girl like that. I like to think that people are more complex then that and you cannot judge people and understand their personality from a 5 minute conversation or (especially) a bunch of pics on an online profile. That's the whole point of dating. Also, just cause I'm open to something more serious doesn't mean I can't have some fun with women that fit the "great right now" category but don't necessarily meet the bar for "great forever" (or at least a long time) because oh no, I'm in "GF" seeking mode. I've never gotten into a relationship because I was in "I want a GF" mode......I've gotten into relationships because I've met women that I saw myself dating.

Even women don't type replies this long ermahgerd

 

[Roasted]

You are are fit , talk about your feelings way too much and talk about violin and jazz music.....can anyone guess why you aren't more successful with women? Anyone? Hello frisco!!!

I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but OK.

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