It's all good.
Some people would foul the gene pool, and I don't need to swim in that.
Some people would foul the gene pool, and I don't need to swim in that.
The Childfree Movement
- Thread starter Jinster81
- Start date
I prefer this stick figure sticker, personally. (photo thanks to Fuzzy1, a formerly active member here).
I'm in the personally selfish, no kids thanks, crowd. Partially circumstance/terminally single status.. but from a very young age i was very aware of what was going on around me, and had a pessimistic view-point on where the world was going, so it was pretty much a pre-ordained reality that my family tree was going to be ending here. There was a pretty conscious decision made about that - not only with me, but also my siblings, and apparently, most of my cousins also.
Indicator of the times really - established, multi-generational families in 1st world countries tend to slow down on the birth-rate either due to career, expense, circumstance, or lack of interest, and new immigrants to the country bring forth the new generation.
Motorcycle Mike
Well-known member
Believe it or not, a lot of people expect people to have kids, and people do get pressured sometimes from family and friends.
When I told a buddy at work that I was getting married, he said something about having kids. When I told him we weren't having any his response was 'why bother getting married then' ... as if kids are the only reason for marriage.
Since then I got married, and I can't count how many times people at work have asked when is a kid coming. Now I just mumble 'not yet' or 'don't know' rather than trying to explain that we simply don't want kids.
Pressure can come from family -- i.e. parents who want grandkids as well as friends that have kids. Fortunately my in-laws don't care about having grand kids and my parents know better than to pressure me. I have lost a lot of friends due to them having kids. They still get together and do kid things, but they don't seem to want those without kids around.
I had an older friend who was half of a double income no kids (dink) couple who found all of the criticism she faced about their decision to not have kids very tiring and hypocritical. She often had people ask her how she could live such a selfish life and not want to share it by having children. She would reply that people who have kids do not have them to "share" their lives so much as they do it mainly because they want mini-me's which is incredibly selfish.
I would have to agree with this. Having kids doesn't make you a better person or more selfless at all. I think the kids teach you how to be selfless through necessity though, if you are lucky. Unfortunately some parents go on and on about how hard it is and all the sacrifices they made for their kids and they get this idea that they are doing the world a favour. But hey, they dug the hole in my opinion.
I would have to agree with this. Having kids doesn't make you a better person or more selfless at all. I think the kids teach you how to be selfless through necessity though, if you are lucky. Unfortunately some parents go on and on about how hard it is and all the sacrifices they made for their kids and they get this idea that they are doing the world a favour. But hey, they dug the hole in my opinion.
johnp
Well-known member
People have kids because they want to, so doesn't that make them equally selfish as those who don't want kids?
But still when people ask me why I don't have kids, I always answer "Because I am selfish." That's what they want to hear so the conversation ends fast.
The trick is to keep a straight face because after a few seconds they shoot another look at you to see if you're having them on.
But still when people ask me why I don't have kids, I always answer "Because I am selfish." That's what they want to hear so the conversation ends fast.
The trick is to keep a straight face because after a few seconds they shoot another look at you to see if you're having them on.
If you dont want them thats the way it is. Most of the reasoning including the OPs is financial and uttering something about it being meaningless. Obviously to some it has great meaning. If I go try and find a thread of justifying having kids I somehow doubt I will find anything?
I'm sure you'll find a thread or two in the for sale sections, of having to justify selling the bike because they are about to have kids
Jinster81
Banned
Folks, I really want to clarify (again) that I don't think parenthood is meaningless.
It is meaningful, no question. And I have full respect to all parents who are sacrificing a part of their lives for the raising of their children.
I just don't believe it's for everyone.
And I believe a fulfilling life can be had with or without children.
It is meaningful, no question. And I have full respect to all parents who are sacrificing a part of their lives for the raising of their children.
I just don't believe it's for everyone.
And I believe a fulfilling life can be had with or without children.
If you don't breed your own elder care nurse / doctor / cleaner / gardener / grocer / banker etc don't ever complain about ethnicity or immigration.
Yes but in 1950 they were saying the same thing. Of course the future is the most volatile from the current perspective. It is just nonsensical to say that this is the "most volatile future in human history" when we have no idea what the future holds. In the 1950's I am pretty sure they thought that WW3 would see the end of the world.
It's either I am old fashioned or I have a strong biological drive. When some people tell me they don't want kids, it goes against all our evolutionary traits and our instinct to survive. Animals have fought for mating rights and for their offspring to propagate. Male lions would actually kill the offspring of competing males, just so their offspring has a better chance.
In short, I find it very unnatural for someone to NOT have kids, and I see a certain group of people extincting (sp?) themselves.
In short, I find it very unnatural for someone to NOT have kids, and I see a certain group of people extincting (sp?) themselves.
Doomsday clock is probably the closest thing:
(Originally, the clock analogy represented the threat of global nuclear war; however, since 2007 it has also reflected climate-changing technologies and "new developments in the life sciences that could inflict irrevocable harm."[SUP][3] )[/SUP]
The doomsday clock is meaningless, much like the terror alert we have now. It's a propaganda device and nothing more. I do find the notion that it's actually moved backward in "time" kind of funny.
Agree it's selfish as is having kids. In fact, there isn't a single thing we do in life that is not ultimately self-motivated... even when we step in front of a bullet for someone. So anyone calling anyone else "selfish" ought to re-examine themselves first.
Like Pandas? lol
I, for one, want a family some day. What puts me off is marriage and finding the right person. Since I was a child, all I've seen are broken marriages and it's taken it's toll on my perspective of it. I'm also not done being a kid myself
Malks
Well-known member
Actually it is quite a bit more than that and it does not stop when they hit 18, (university, college, weddings, helping out with moving expenses....). We have two kids; our daughter is now 30, while our son is 23. Being a parent is one of the more difficult jobs and it is definitely not for everyone. We are happy we choose to have kids, even though there have been days when we have wondered out loud why we had them.
rmemedic
Well-known member
It does end at 18 for me and lots of others. I wasn't out on my own, but that's when I started to pay room and board and had no help for anything after.
My buddy has 3 awesome kids but they are all aware that by the time they hit 18 they need to be ready.
