How soon is too soon?

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I have a very hard time believe that there are actually any rules/time frames to this stuff. Everyone falls at different intensities and paces.

Assuming that your "friend" isn't actually you, I don't really understand why it matters so much to you.

Although unlikely, it's not impossible to genuinely fall in love in 2 weeks. 2 weeks of constant contact these days would be worth a couple of months 50 years ago. You learn more about a person in a shorter period of time because of facebook, texting all day, etc. On top of that a lot of relationships are ***-backwards these days - you have sex before you get to know them and it can still end up working itself out.

IMO, it isn't your place to tell your "friend" whether or not he's in love.
 
knowledge said:
IMO, it isn't your place to tell your "friend" whether or not he's in love.
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Ok, for those of you who don't know STaylorT OR the person he is referring to (because yes, they are two very different people), the person he is referring to, I will call "Doofus" simply because I do personally know him and for laughs...oh and for privacy of course...;)

So for those of you who don't actually know Doofus, Doofus greatly NEEDS to be told he is not in love. Because he isn't. And we know this, because we know him. Duh.

To throw some insight into his situation, let's share a story. From the first day I met Doofus and STaylor, Doofus hit on everything with two legs and boobs. One afternoon, we all go to Boston Pizza. The waitress comes to collect our bills. Doofus, (I'm giggling because I realize how appropriate this name can be for him :P) decides to tell the waitress, and I quote "Give me a second, I have your tip in my pants."

Sadly, I have to admit, it was a bit of an accident, but as funny as it was, and as close as we all came to puking with laughter, the hitting comes naturally to Doofus, even by accident.

The other night, STaylor, Doofus, Ramon1234 and I all went to fearfest. We walk through "Club Blood". They have pole dancing half dressed zombie girls. Well, Doofus says he doesn't notice girls the same way he did before (staring at them with no filter!). Yet, like 5 minutes later he's checking out some girls walking by. Like STARING. YES DOOFUS I SAW YOU! I didn't say anything, but I saw! ;)

Doofus went from hitting on every girl he sees, to suddenly in love with an older grandma he lied about his age to?

We KNOW for a fact he's not in love. Especially not this soon.

So after just reading all this that I just typed, I realize its not exactly the best explanation for my whole point, but it does kinda make for a good read, especially for those that actually know what Doofus is like :P Plus, there's no way I'm not gonna post this when I just spent 5 minutes typing it all out on my blackberry :P

Sent from my BlackBerry 9790
 
Jinniwind said:
I dont know if i would call a guy my "bf" and exclusively date him for 6-8 months if i dont feel that i love him.

Theres nothing wrong with it and props to you for not lying to her, but i personally just dont understand it. If i just "like" someone, i would tell my friends that hes just someone that im dating. But i would never go exclusive and keep that way for months for someone that i just "like".
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What if you were unable to "fall in love" period? Would you be ok with NEVER experiencing being in an exclusive relationship with someone in your entire life? NEVER having a BF, etc? You wouldn't feel like you are "missing out" on a certain part of life? I think it's pretty obvious that you fall in love easily so your opinion is a bit biased IMHO.
 
Roasted said:
What if you were unable to "fall in love" period? Would you be ok with NEVER experiencing being in an exclusive relationship with someone in your entire life? NEVER having a BF, etc? You wouldn't feel like you are "missing out" on a certain part of life? I think it's pretty obvious that you fall in love easily so your opinion is a bit biased IMHO.
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Hmmm everyone's kinda biased in this discussion no?

I dont think you are unable to fall in love, and in my opinion everyone is capable of loving, and it just means you havent met the right person if you havent felt it yet. Btw its good that you dont say love that easily.

Also, i feel like it might be a bit unfair to your partner if she wasnt aware of what she was getting into at the beginning. Id say lots of ppl(excluding teenagers), if not most of them, enter a serious relationship and become exclusive after they start feeling the love btw each other. So if someone asks me if i wanna be his gf and be exclusive for him, i would naturally assume/expect that theres more than just "like".

If shes aware of how you really feel from the beginning, then Your gf must love you very much since its very hard to call someone "bf" and be exclusive for him knowing that he doesnt love her and hoping that maybe one day, she will finally do enough and be good enough so that he would feel a bit more than just "like".
 
I think you're oversimplifying the various emotional degrees that exist between complete indifference and love. Just cause I'm not in love, doesn't mean that I only casually like my gf and wouldn't give a crap if she walked away tomorrow or slept with someone else. Pretty sure my GF wasn't "in love" with me yet when we started being exclusive either. For some people (like me) it clearly takes a while.

I don't think ANYONE really knows what they are getting themselves into "from the beginning" when getting into an exclusive relationship. If we did there would be no such thing as a break up.
 
I guess i did a poor job explaining myself. Its not that anyone would be able to foresee the future from the beginning, but more of the expectation of what you will get from your partner and this relationship.

I would expect my bf to love me after the dating him for half a year so i understand why ur gf cried over it.
 
Jinniwind said:
I would expect my bf to love me after the dating him for half a year
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When my ex caught feelings and told me she loved me at around the 6 month mark she cried and said that she's "never had that happen so fast before".........clearly, not every woman would agree with you.
 
Roasted said:
When my ex caught feelings and told me she loved me at around the 6 month mark she cried and said that she's "never had that happen so fast before".........clearly, not every woman would agree with you.
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she may have said that to save face or spare whatever dignity she had left from you not returning the gesture.

from my experience women do tend to get attached a bit sooner.
not to say it doesn't happen with men though.
 
A few weeks in and "I love you" is being exchanged? IMHO, it's still infatuation that early into the relationship, not love.
 
Roasted said:
When my ex caught feelings and told me she loved me at around the 6 month mark she cried and said that she's "never had that happen so fast before".........clearly, not every woman would agree with you.
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LOL. So cynical you are. :lmao:
 
What is "love" anyways ? ... "Doofus" clearly doesn't know... lol.
 
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Roasted said:
When my ex caught feelings and told me she loved me at around the 6 month mark she cried and said that she's "never had that happen so fast before".........clearly, not every woman would agree with you.
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Thats because we have different standards choosing boyfriends. Some women call a guy who they have been seeing for awhile her "boyfriend". It takes a lot more for me to call a guy my boyfriend so yes i do expect my boyfriend to love me "that quickly". And i dont expect everyone to agree.
 
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