LOL, I've never lied about age either.....even when the chick was 19 and I was 28 I told her the truth, and as for the "I love you" thing.....I explained that in a previous post.
How soon is too soon?
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LOL, I've never lied about age either.....even when the chick was 19 and I was 28 I told her the truth, and as for the "I love you" thing.....I explained that in a previous post.
ok ok ... enough.. all an all, w.e the guy is happy let him be happy ... 
We rattle him around long enough and hard enough, I think is clear we as "friends" have done our part. When **** comes down the drain maybe the girl will not give 3sh!ts about his age, maybe she will.. maybe he will end up with the grandma or maybe the mother, or maybe both.
The moral of the story is, who gives a flipping s***, the guy is happy, the lady is happy as well and they are both old enough to own up to their mistakes and their responsibilities.
Back to the original question.. how soon is too soon?
I think timing is not really an issue, is more about how it is said...
We rattle him around long enough and hard enough, I think is clear we as "friends" have done our part. When **** comes down the drain maybe the girl will not give 3sh!ts about his age, maybe she will.. maybe he will end up with the grandma or maybe the mother, or maybe both.
The moral of the story is, who gives a flipping s***, the guy is happy, the lady is happy as well and they are both old enough to own up to their mistakes and their responsibilities.
Back to the original question.. how soon is too soon?
I think timing is not really an issue, is more about how it is said...
I'm sure requests for pics will start pouring in.. Speaking of which, any luck with the grandma and the daughter?
Sabex
Well-known member
Honestly, 2 weeks.. compared to some people I know/// 2 weeks is a long time.
I know people who say it, and mean it, and call it true love, the day after meeting them. Not even in real life. meeting ON THE INTERNET. Not meeting IRL. Just talking for 2 hours on the internet, and then calling it love.
I would like to add: their turnover rate is usually 1-4 weeks. So after 1-4 weeks they break up and do it all over again. And then constantly whine and complain that no one loves them; they're worthless; they shouldn't be alive anymore; oh woe is them their life is just horrible.
Never stick your dick in crazy is also a good philosophy to have. The people I know, they're pretty crazy; not the sharpest tool in the shed. Somewhat obsessive, very possessive, and just downright clingy. Which is why they get so easily attached in the first place.
One guy is pretty bad. He's a crazy ex of my crazy ex. He was handing out death threats, and claiming I stole his ex. And then the next day, he was trying to get after me and do things...
My person opinion: you can't call it love until you find something to hate about the person. Because until you can find something you hate (there ALWAYS is; nobody is ever perfect for anybody) you're still infatuated and in the "crushing" stage. Once you can find something to dislike about the person, if you still want to be with them forever; then you can call it love.
I know people who say it, and mean it, and call it true love, the day after meeting them. Not even in real life. meeting ON THE INTERNET. Not meeting IRL. Just talking for 2 hours on the internet, and then calling it love.
I would like to add: their turnover rate is usually 1-4 weeks. So after 1-4 weeks they break up and do it all over again. And then constantly whine and complain that no one loves them; they're worthless; they shouldn't be alive anymore; oh woe is them their life is just horrible.
Never stick your dick in crazy is also a good philosophy to have. The people I know, they're pretty crazy; not the sharpest tool in the shed. Somewhat obsessive, very possessive, and just downright clingy. Which is why they get so easily attached in the first place.
One guy is pretty bad. He's a crazy ex of my crazy ex. He was handing out death threats, and claiming I stole his ex. And then the next day, he was trying to get after me and do things...
My person opinion: you can't call it love until you find something to hate about the person. Because until you can find something you hate (there ALWAYS is; nobody is ever perfect for anybody) you're still infatuated and in the "crushing" stage. Once you can find something to dislike about the person, if you still want to be with them forever; then you can call it love.
N3WMAN
Well-known member
LOL. Dude knows how to pick em.
Damn, that's a good post.....never thought of that.
Oh and that reminds me. About a year or two back I gave this one latin chick off POF my digits. Text a little, .....bish starts getting annoyed that I'm not replying fast enough. I think WTF but oh well. Talk to her on phone (keep in mind I have never met her IRL yet). She says she misses me and says "I love you". I'm literally like:
....so I tell her it's not gonna work out and I no longer want to meet up with her. She blew up my phone a little but I ignored.
Delete her number. About 3-4 months later she text me again. After I figure out it's her, back to ignoring.
Lol sent that one to my wife.. She wholeheartedly agrees.. Thank God she doesn't know the combination to my safe or I might become living-challenged
Lol sent that one to my wife.. She wholeheartedly agrees.. Thank God she doesn't know the combination to my safe or I might become living-challenged
Lets hope the CFO doesn't know about that
Live and let live I say.........Some folks drop the "L" word out as casually as hello sometimes. It's what and how they define what love means to them I suppose.
Some folks can tell from the first look and know it's love. Some folks take years. Everything inbetween is fair game.
IMO, I think you need to give someone a year to find out the skeletons and crazy that is yet to be discovered. No matter how great things seem or how awesome spending time together. And that is from both sides.
If someone can put up with my crap after a year........oh boy.......
Some folks can tell from the first look and know it's love. Some folks take years. Everything inbetween is fair game.
IMO, I think you need to give someone a year to find out the skeletons and crazy that is yet to be discovered. No matter how great things seem or how awesome spending time together. And that is from both sides.
If someone can put up with my crap after a year........oh boy.......
I dont know if i would call a guy my "bf" and exclusively date him for 6-8 months if i dont feel that i love him.
Theres nothing wrong with it and props to you for not lying to her, but i personally just dont understand it. If i just "like" someone, i would tell my friends that hes just someone that im dating. But i would never go exclusive and keep that way for months for someone that i just "like".
As long as they don't think that I agree and they know she doesn't have the combination to my safe, it's all good in da hood
I guess then it depends on if you want it to be genuine and how long you want to wait.....as an example
Sabex
Well-known member
Someones physical sex has no determination on their position in a relationship. It's their mentality that determines who does what.
For example: homosexual couples. there is no definite male (for lesbians) or female (for gays)
And nowadays it seems females are becoming the more dominant ones in male/female relationships. The ones taking charge and leading the male around.
IMO: The submissive/less dominant/follower would say it first. It's already implied by their position in the relationship.
This is interesting. So not saying it even if you feel it could be indicative of a power struggle in the relationship dynamic. This would also imply that if you've never said it first you were always the dominant one in the relationship? Hmmm.
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IMO one of the things that shows people truly love each other is they don't play silly kiddie power play games like who's going to say I love you or they are sorry first, they just make their Partners needs come first because they want to make them happy. That has little to do with how long they've been together. There is no love at first sight because the work needed to prove true love hasn't been done yet. There is definitely lust at first sight, and the illusion at the time that person is everything you want in a Partner. Is two weeks too soon to be in love? Probably, but not necessarily. Someone who is 22, however, probably really doesn't know how to love someone other than himself/herself yet.
Power dynamics always exist in relationships and are constantly at play imo doesn't mean your playing games. Often times it's subconscious reactions. Eventually you conform to certain roles within the relationship which is a result of how it plays out. The situation the op described is not love. Those people are both just playing games imo.
Sabex
Well-known member
It all depends. It's very flexible, and obviously not going to be true 100% of the time. And there are so many factors to take into account. Like who feels love first; one person could be totally in love and the other person could still be on the fence about it for a long time.
Weak minded people tend to be submissive because of how they think; or rather don't think. Someone with a weaker/easier to manipulate mind would obviously advance faster through the "ranks" of emotions. Thus they would feel it love earlier, and generally say it easier than someone who has a strong mind. A mind that is hard to change, a mind that makes it's own decisions instead of letting everything around influence it.
There are, of course, exceptions; like everything in life. You have some strong minded, submissive people and some weak minded dominant people.
Of course, the chances of that relationship actually lasting is very small because with an unstable leader, a very-stable follower will quickly recognize the person they're following is not suitable to lead. And in that case the dominant would say/feel love first.
A weak-minded dominant and weak-minded submissive will work quite well though, as they'll both be oblivious and live in pure ignorance (ignorance is bliss after all.) At the same time a strong minded dominant and strong minded submissive will work quite well because the submissive will understand the dominants reasoning for his decisions; and see him as a capable leader. Even though both of those are uncommon, there's still a possibility. And then the one who says/feels love first would depend on each persons past and how they behave/act.
And before anyone starts spouting about relationships where both people are equal, there is always a designated leader (dominant) and designated follower (submissive) in every relationship. Sometimes it's hard to notice; but given enough time it'll become clear who is which. Even if it's just a very small difference, there is.
