Horrible things you`ve done.

vociferous said:
i park in hybrid & mothers/pregnant women parking spots. i don't respect copyright laws.
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lol there's hybrid parking spots?? I'm soooo parking my Ram in there the next time I'm in the city.

Guess I have to post up a horrible thing... This one is both hilarious and horrible.
I had a gf that was deaf, so she had a cochlear implant and as long as her batteries were charged up in her little unit, she could hear.
We were at the end of the relationship (well, I knew we were, she didn't) and I had started to hang out with this other girl. I told the new girl I would call her sunday night to make plans for monday. Only issue was I had the deaf gf with me and we had a 3 hour drive home from the track. Luck was in my favour, and her batteries died and since it was a busy weekend, she fell asleep in my lap.
So I get on the phone with my new play date and have a fairly descriptive conversation without fear of being heard, with my gf sleeping right there. Neither of them had a clue!
 
nakkers said:
This one time, before the Internet. I bought Penthouse for the pictures. Some pages may have even stuck together afterwards and all my buddies believed me when I told them the pages stuck because the mags were hidden in the basement and got wet.


I may have said I wasn't going to do something when flossing someone elses teeth and did. (Now it seems pretty well a given and often encouraged, my how the times change) Or maybe that's my choice in women have changed?

I may have said I just want to put the tip in.

I still haven't return those National Geographic mags to the library.

I forgot to put money under my daughter's pillow twice. The first time, I recovered nicely. The second time I was busted, it crushed her to find out the toothfairy is homeless and left some empties in a plastic bag in the garage for her.
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This ENTIRE post was full of win - dear lawd I'm still sputtering reading "flossing someone elses teeth" coupled with "just the tip".

Dude...wow.

:notworthy:



P.S. Those two go hand-in-hand with the ever-funny "Of course I promise to pull out..." and "...you have nothing to worry about, I got a vasectomy..."
 
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I tried to do a Cleveland Steamer once..but it turned into a really, really Dirty Sanchez..with some 1 Girl, 1 Cup kinda thrown in... :roll:
 
I got infractions on GTAM.
 
Because **** the police. I do what I want.
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Smashed my buddy in the head with a shovel - result: Froze, got scared, ****** in the pants. buddy got few stitches out of that.

Threw out a cat from the top of a building - result: cat didn't manage to fly, smashed in the sand-ground and ran away never to be found again.

Stole a pencil from a grocery store - result: thought for a solution for hours on how to pay them back after incident, couldn't find one.. suffered from spiritual pain forever.

Got my dads car (parked downhill) in neutral, released the handbreak, and while wondering why the car wasn't moving, pushed it from behind - result: my dad had to get out of our office, run to street, chase the car before it rear-ends another car parked 50meters in front, and he hit the break from outside of car with one foot. Car came to sudden halt waaaay before than my dad could slow down, and he made a flip over the open door, smashed on the ground (got small injuries). Seeing that was the most priceless thing EVER, but what happened after he came back from the street - I don't wanna get into that =)

All these took place before I turned 8 or 7, no need to call the cops =)
 
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When I was about 15 I banged my hockey coach's wife....wait a minute... she banged me...oh well it was a nice violation of my youth.
 
yes I have looked down her top.....
 
Kool said:
When I was about 15 I banged my hockey coach's wife....wait a minute... she banged me...oh well it was a nice violation of my youth.
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I had a gf who's dad was the GM of a certain OHL team and they used to be "sponsors" (I can't remember the correct word) and had players stay with them... I asked her numerous time if anything ever happened with them, she swears no but I know better than to believe that lol.
 
rmemedic said:
I had a gf who's dad was the GM of a certain OHL team and they used to be "sponsors" (I can't remember the correct word) and had players stay with them... I asked her numerous time if anything ever happened with them, she swears no but I know better than to believe that lol.
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I believe you are looking for "billet". A friend had to stay all over to play within boundries.
 
I fart at work since the machines are so loud.

Which brings the philosophical question, if I fart and no-one hears does it make a sound?
 
Peed in a swimming pool then got out.....sat there and laughed and laughed
 
i dabbed hot sauce on my cat's paw before for pooing on my bed.
 
LePhillou said:
Doing a 'smell this' to my current gf when we were just fooling around

Sleeping with an underage girl 7 years younger than me (which i only found out after the fact)

Playing gamecube with the 8 year-old of the MILF i was fooling around with.

Leaving on a random roadtrip out west(which ended up being for 3 months) when my crazy ex was breaking down...had to get away from the drama

Farting in the gf's dogs face :D ...thats just funny though ahah
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hahahahahah this made my morning!! good for you, and since your a terrible person i bet you whipped that 8 year old at whatever game you were playing
 
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