As for fuelling. TSSA has a rule about it, pointed out here. If it does go sideways the bike will end up on its side with the fuel running out of the fill as it is not on the stand (lose footing or fire). Gas stations are also likely concerned about pump and run. You can stretch your legs, easier to get your wallet out. Why risk fuel on your nether regions? When I did the safety course many many moons ago they also told us to fuel off the bike. The why list goes on....
We also can't expect min wage gas attendants to be following some sort of flow chart. Is the bike on a centre stand, did they prepay at the pump, is the rider wearing an asbestos suit..... no black and white is best, off the bike. I am sure they don't need more grief, they get plenty everyday, why give them more?
Sort of like wearing a mask during COVID, just follow the rules instead of expecting others to bend to your whims or specialness.
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As for cell phones, rules were put in place before entirely knowing for sure. There were: static concerns, also the phone interfering with the pump was a concern. There is also the entire paying attention to what you are doing/distraction. Just as a courtesy, it sucks waiting for the pump while the person at the pump is done but yapping on their phone. Why give the attendant grief, they were not part of the "scientific" team making the rules. Just follow the rules..... it is not that hard to do.