To an extent this is true. Mental illness, for example, is heavily frowned/shamed upon in Eastern culture. I think this has changed but mental illnesses did not exist while I was growing up, and one is expected to willpower through it all or kill yourself (seppuku.)
My fiancée runs a clinic and has said how she can tell if a child is going to be a little **** within 5 minutes of meeting the parents (child is the patient) based on how weak/coddling the parenting is. Main example is letting the child screw with my fiancée's equipment. My buddies and I usually laugh because if we did that as children, we'd be taken to the washroom, beaten mercilessly, and come out smiling. We also knew not to cry: bring shame to the family by crying/drawing attention in public and you will go home to get beaten more.
There's also a common joke story between myself and other Asian friends where we told our principal or school about at home abuse, child service got called, the parents were super apologetic, the kid cries out of guilt, and then the kid goes home and gets the living **** beaten out of them for days lol
Face is so important that an uncle of mine spent 20 years in shame, not talking to family members, because he was the oldest but all the younger siblings overperformed him by a long shot. When they finally reached out to him, 20 years later, to ask why he's been so distant/cold, he broke down crying explaining that.
And frankly, I'm bringing shame to my entire family by typing this ****, mentioning abuse, etc. etc.; I'm gonna pretend most here don't know who I am irl (but it would be very easy to figure out lmao.)
With that said: I used to think the Eastern way is too harsh, but I don't like how embarrassing the Western way is (asking for help, for everything, or our current chaotic state); I like the core Eastern principle of solving as much yourself as possible, in order to reduce chaos/burden on society, and become a net positive for the world. Fighting over petty **** in a divorce would be categorized as being a burden on society imo.
untietheknot.ca
