A Difficult Spouse.... | Page 5 | GTAMotorcycle.com

A Difficult Spouse....

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My live in gf doesn't ride. I do. She encourages me to go out on weekends.

She does things that I don't do and I don't mind. I do, however, wish we had a few more common interests. She'll tag along for motorcycle shows but I usually hear about it afterwards.

I wouldn't even feel comfortable with her riding. She's really clumsy and doesn't even have a G1 anymore (it's expired twice and now hasn't been renewed for about 4 years). But I would like to have her as a passenger but I crash too much for her to feel safe, lol. Plus she fell asleep on the back of a friend's F4i and is now afraid it will happen again only she might fall off. So I understand her reasons.

If you can afford it I don't think it's fair for your spouse to tell you what you can or cannot do when it comes to something like motorcycling.
 
unL33T said:
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But I would like to have her as a passenger but I crash too much for her to feel safe, lol. Plus she fell asleep on the back of a friend's F4i and is now afraid it will happen again only she might fall off......
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Have you pondered about the idea that maybe, just maybe, riding is not actually for you?
 
Perhaps your spouse is concerned for your safety? I know that mine was. So I took the course, bought good gear that I always wear, bought a sensible bike and ride it conservatively. I can say that my wife isnt thrilled with my decision but she does understand and I think is coming around.

As far as cycling goes I put a few thousand Km on a bike each year and I can say that I do feel that its more risky at times. Cars seem to have no issue with coming within inches of you as they pass by at 100+km/h and I have to admit that having a crash going down hill at 80-90km/h wearing nothing more than a helmet, spandex shorts and a jersey is something I just down want to think about.
 
It's about balance and mutual respect. We have things that we do together, and things that we do independantly. It makes our relationship stronger.

And we trust each other's judgement and are supportive of the things that appeal more to one than the other. I support her in the stuff she does, and sometimes come along. She is not interested in getting her own motorcycle, but supports me in my riding. She likes riding 2-up, but doesn't want to come along when I do fast weekend rides (nor do I want her). She enjoyed our riding holiday in Spain last year, but doesn't want to do it every year (I respect that). My 2nd bike was less comfortable for a passenger, but we test rode it 2-up first so I could get her opinion. She said that it was less comfortable, but more fun, that it was my choice, that it has to meet my needs first, so I bought it and made a couple mods to make it more comfy for her.

Nikki, it sounds like this is more about the state of your relationship, and riding a motorcycle is just a trigger issue. Do what you need to do to be happy.

BTW, I started riding at 45, and 5 years later I consider it one of the best decisions that I've made. I love it!
 
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A MAN would not only support and encourage you, he would offer to be your umbrella boy at the class and take you out to dinner afterwards. A BOY would whine and moan about how unfair and unsupportive you are, totally oblivious to the fact that he's not supporting you in your pursuits.
My wife doesn't ride but she's been to every bike shop with me within a hundred miles, lots of bike shows and was very involved in the purchase of the last 5 bikes. I hope I show her at least half as much support and encouragement and just outright love as she does to me (but probably not :().

As for people over 30 getting into riding, come back when you are 30 or 40 yourself, kid, and share your wisdom with us. I suspect it will have changed. If not, it means you peaked at 20-something and the next 50 years won't be worth living.
 
For a balanced response to this topic, the other party needs to chime in as well.

There could be a lot of reasons, such as an almost-affair with some guy on Facebook who has a bike and even though nothing happened, trust has been weakened.

There's more to this story. Good luck with your decision Nikki and remember you can't go wrong by communicating constructively with him.
 
CanadianBiker said:
A MAN would not only support and encourage you, he would offer to be your umbrella boy at the class and take you out to dinner afterwards. A BOY would whine and moan about how unfair and unsupportive you are, totally oblivious to the fact that he's not supporting you in your pursuits.
My wife doesn't ride but she's been to every bike shop with me within a hundred miles, lots of bike shows and was very involved in the purchase of the last 5 bikes. I hope I show her at least half as much support and encouragement and just outright love as she does to me (but probably not :().

As for people over 30 getting into riding, come back when you are 30 or 40 yourself, kid, and share your wisdom with us. I suspect it will have changed. If not, it means you peaked at 20-something and the next 50 years won't be worth living.
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This is spot on. +1
 
Do what makes you happy your spouse can support you or not, in the end you need to be happy in life. Take the course, get a bike.
 
Nyx13 said:
That can be easily remedied! The next time you're over we take you to get inked, right? Sweet!
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Hmm, maybe a flaming skull with "BAD TO THE BONE"?
 
mikbusa said:
Tell this half a sissy to shut the **** up.
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Lol, glad you said it to save me an infraction.

He seems like a control freak to me. I bet he threatens to beat you if you go against his wishes

Sent from my tablet using my paws
 
unL33T said:
My live in gf doesn't ride. I do. She encourages me to go out on weekends.


I crash too much for her to feel safe, lol.

.
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Find out if she has taken out a large insurance policy on you......................
 
how is OP even allowed to post on this forum lol
 
crankcall said:
Find out if she has taken out a large insurance policy on you......................
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lol she hasn't. My mother is actually my beneficiary on both my life insurance policies and my pension.

And yeah, I've considered that riding isn't for me. Two crashes were inexperience within the first year and I've learned from them. The third was just a tip over at a standstill when I was being stupid about a year ago.
 
There isn't anything wrong with having different passions in life; my wife likes to shop while I'd rather be outside riding. The reasons why one spouse wouldn't want the other to enjoy a different hobby might come down to trust (it has to be said).

If you want to ride bad enough to buy a bike, the gear, and take the course, then just do it. I'm pretty sure the old saying "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission" applies here.
 
I hear it all the time.. one does not like it and the other does.

its all about give and take in any relationship. I could not ask for a better woman ever.

My bike has been stored in the living for over 2 years and this year, she is funding my frame up rebuild of my bike. Yes it is being done in my living room. i told her i would get her new floors after i was done. And it is about 20 days away from being complete. you just have to find the perfect balance.

good luck with your license and do what makes you happy. Spouses come and go. the good ones will always stand by you no matter what.
 
to OP ... like the lady said . 'get crackin'!" :director:


and If this is the question ....
georgy said:
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.?
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Then this is the answer ...
Spyder-RT-Limited_zps267e7785.jpg
 
CanadianBiker said:
A MAN would not only support and encourage you, he would offer to be your umbrella boy at the class and take you out to dinner afterwards. A BOY would whine and moan about how unfair and unsupportive you are, totally oblivious to the fact that he's not supporting you in your pursuits.
My wife doesn't ride but she's been to every bike shop with me within a hundred miles, lots of bike shows and was very involved in the purchase of the last 5 bikes. I hope I show her at least half as much support and encouragement and just outright love as she does to me (but probably not :().

As for people over 30 getting into riding, come back when you are 30 or 40 yourself, kid, and share your wisdom with us. I suspect it will have changed. If not, it means you peaked at 20-something and the next 50 years won't be worth living.
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WOW ... this was absolutely perfect +++++++++1
 
My (recent) wife is an ER nurse, so naturally she's concerned about me out there. She owns gear and rides along, but does not have a bike herself.

She encourages my hobbies and has really tried to support motorcycling, but it is a bit of a source of tension just because she's concerned.

I try to reinforce that I'm being safe and taking precautions when riding. I even wear a lame hi-viz vest when I ride. She understands this and this makes it easier and less concerning for her.

To be honest, I'm used to hear these stories applying to the opposite sex so it's interesting to hear it where a husband is against riding. Nothing wrong with either, of course - provided it's about concern, not control.

Hopefully your partner will understand how the hobby appeals to you, and you do what you can to ride safely and come home OK.
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