A Difficult Spouse.... | Page 2 | GTAMotorcycle.com

A Difficult Spouse....

You'll be fine with the riding NN ....the financial cost might be high so check insurance costs first. If you stick with a 50cc something as a new rider for a year - some are quite reasonable to get around the city on.

Then move up later.

I'd chat here

http://www.meetup.com/toronto-moto-scooter-club/

You'll have fun..
 
I have ridden all my life.
My wife wanted to get a motorcycle and I didn't have an issue with it. I like that she rides.
But being such an experienced rider makes we worry way too much about her safety.

It sucks for me.
But she is a good rider. I feel better that she respects road riding.
 
IMO your husband is being selfish. My wife does not ride, nor does she want to, despite my encouragement for her to try. But I understand, it's not for everyone. I do things with her that I have no interest in, I don't stop her from doing things she is passionate about. The reverse is also true. I sense from your posts that you are quite disappointed with your husband's reaction. Give him time, it could be that he finds this threatning.
 
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?

Sitting on the flower bed at Belfountain and watching old ladies wobble out of the coffee shop parking lot gives credibility to this statement, in general.
 
I personally married a woman who had very different interests than myself. She has led me to discover many many things I never would have gone to on my own, and now I love them too.
Would I have ever gone to an opera? No, I love the Ballet, shows like Cats, Phantom of the Opera,and many many more.
She has gotten to love all the things that I love.
I do not like couples that marry somebody who is almost exactly like each other, I find them very boring.
Variety is the spice of life.
 
My wife could not give a crap about my bike, and she mysteriously tunes out when I start talking about it!

In return, she buys shoes and watches 'Real Housewives of Wherever' and goes for lunch with her friends!

That being said, I sacrifice a ton of riding time so we can do cool, fun stuff together. But you need to have balance in any relationship.
 
I say do it, get your licence take a course which will give you ample options riding different types of bikes you might end up liking the sport bike or a dual-sport or even a cruiser. This is one of those things you will just have to figure out, the joy of having a full M licence compared to a scooter licence is that you can ride all bikes, so if you change your mind on the scooter you can always move up to something else.

Your partner is just looking out for you just like any other loving person would but they also need to be able to understand your passion for it just like he has his passion for bicycles.

I think you are old enough to make your own mind, he will learn to live with and grow-up.
 
My wife and I started riding at 43 and 47, respectively. It was her idea. She signed us up for the weekend course and said I could cancel if I wanted to, but she was going. I was surprised how much I enjoyed riding and now log over 10,000 km a year. So, riding isn't a problem for us....it's what we do together.
 
An interesting situation....I had originally planned to take my license awhile back but didn't,primarily to my Other Halfs insistence that I spend more time with him cycling on road bikes before I contemplate a motorcycle.

Well, to make a long story short, the truth is, he is a cyclo god/geek/enthusiast. I am not, nor do I have any plans to become one.

I simply want to learn to ride a scooter and/or motorcycle. But of late, I am getting a lot of 'you aren't being supportive, you don't want to do anything I want to do ' banter.


So the question is this: Is this common for couples where one rides and the other does not? This is a surprisingly new development

He's gone from hating the idea ("Toronto is a horrible place for motorcyclists--there is danger everywhere!!") to then wanting to get a scooter because I had popped into Motoretta one day and revisited the idea as being a good way to get around and save some gas money. Now--after speaking to some local riders on smaller bikes, he is now suggesting that there may be those who will question my good morales if I am on a motorcycle instead of a scooter.

Oiy-veh. When a forty something guy seems to be having trouble with his partner picking up a new hobby, it does make one think. This is very much outside of my normal experience.

I will go ahead and schedule my class -- no more postponing because of some issue he is having with it.
I would like to think that this will settle in time and I am sure it will. But I am truly interested in knowing whether or not this is a universal problem with older adults (35+ ) who pick up motorcycle riding later in life.

Today was a lovely day for a Sunday ride. I am looking forward to when I can take advantage of such a wonderful day..:cool:

p.s. Happened to meet up with some women riders in the parking lot at my local shoppers. I put the question to them and they all seemed to be in agreement:
jealously. To be honest, this never entered my mind... The 'Grandma' (she was, 69 years old and riding for about 15...) told me to not worry about it and 'get cracking' and take my course!

Im sorry but he not only sounds immature and controlling but also he sounds like a young girl. Dump him
 
An interesting situation....

......

Hey, remember that you're still an individual with independent thoughts, want and needs. If riding is what you want, go ahead.

I invited my spouse to take the course with me, we both did it and had a lot of fun. Eventually my spouse decided that a car was the way to go; now we have a car each, and my motorcycle ;-)

"Time is the only coin you have in life to spend, lest you let somebody else spend it for you"

Remember that when you're 75 years old, you will regret much more the things that you didn't do, than those you actually did do.

NiceNikki
Maybe you can invite your spouse to take the course with you.

^^This.

I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

.......

Do you have kids?

This is complete bullcrap pal, I got into riding well over my 30's and it's one of the best things I've done in my life.

More often than not, age makes you take much more informed decisions.
 
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I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?

Sorry but have to DISAGREE!!!!!!! I turned 40 this year my kids are 16 n 13 It was something I had wanted to do since I was 17 just couldn't at the time the kids n husband came along well now kids are growing n husband is gone lol So it was a perfect time to do the one thing I always dreamed about.. Not to mention us "older" newbies will have more controlled thoughts then all the young ones getting a bike..... Just my thought and really as sad as it may seem I am a strong believer of when its your time , its your time...... With many good reasons for me to believe in that... Cheers to OP go for it girl it sthe best thing I could have done...... Ride safe all
 
Hey, remember that you're still an individual with independent thoughts, want and needs. If riding is what you want, go ahead.

I invited my spouse to take the course with me, we both did it and had a lot of fun. Eventually my spouse decided that a car was the way to go; now we have a car each, and my motorcycle ;-)

"Time is the only coin you have in life to spend, lest you let somebody else spend it for you"

Remember that when you're 75 years old, you will regret much more the things that you didn't do, than those you actually did do.



^^This.



This is complete bullcrap pal, I got into riding well over my 30's and it's one of the best things I've done in my life.

More often than not, age makes you take much more informed decisions.
+ 1
 
what Jaymurr said is spot on. It is very healthy to have separate hobbies. It brings additional topics of conversation into the relationship. My wife also does not ride and has no desire to get on mine even as a passenger but she encouraged me all the way to take the course and get a bike.

Georgy is way off base with his comments. The first time I got on a bike was at 47. There were women and men older than me taking the course. I will assume that because you ride road bikes you are somewhat athletic and have the coordination that comes with it, as a result you are ahead on the learning curve.

Tell your spouse that you'll follow him around on your scooter or bike when you are ready.

Go for it and enjoy.


It is the plan...
 
I just find it ironic that the spandex wearing potential smear on the road is telling YOU that motorcycling is dangerous....ROFL!!

LOL the gf and i laughed our heads off at this.

Also, do what i did with my mother. Do the course not tell him, buy a bike and ride it home, and leave it in the driveway before he is home.
 
i ride but my gf does not. she loves it when i take her out on the bike and we have our little 2-up date. Maybe you should take your husband on the back of your bike =).

jokes a side, he's definitely jealous, and does not want his wife to seem ''cooler'' than him, because; lets face it, a motorcycle is cooler than a bicycle lol.
 
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.
If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.
Do you have kids?

All I'm sayin' is that I get what her husband's sayin', you kno wha'am'sayin?
In a family unit, decisions of one spouse affects the other. If there is no compromise, there's divorce.

Wow, I guess I should sell 2nd new bike, I was 40 last year when I got my first one. Such a sad day, those 400 plus KMs I put on today nothing but wobbling and stalling. Still can't figure how that clutch thing works. God I wish I was 20 so I the learning curve would have been easier. I guess my age was the reason I got perfect on my M1 and M2 tests, Fu*&ing pathetic. So if anyone wants an almost new 2012 ZX6R please let me know and please I will only accept offers from people under 30, and if you are female and are married please have a written and signed document getting permission from your husband, better yet you better have him come do the deal.

BTW if your spouse wants a to do a LEGAL hobby the one word that comes to mind is "support" not compromise.

This has gotta be one of the most stupid posts I have read in a long time.
 
[h=1]Wow everyone's subject to their own opinion. ;)[/h]
My wife and I both started riding when we were 46 and 48. I started talking about taking the course and she said; "If you're taking it then so am I" We both have 1100 cc Virago's and ride together.

We talked about riding for years and finally had the chance to do it. Best thing we've ever done!
Wish we could have started in our 20's but that just wasn't meant to be.

To the younger folks out there, I love your perspective, I used to think and talk the same way. ;)

By the time you're 50 and you've lost dear friends to different things, from car accidents, drowning, heart attack, Alzheimer's disease, or murder, you'll realize how few your days number and that you really don't hold any of the cards. Live every day as though it was your last and don't have any regrets when you get to the end.


[h=1]“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”[/h]
 

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