A Difficult Spouse.... | Page 3 | GTAMotorcycle.com

A Difficult Spouse....

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Life is short. you have to do what makes you happy while you can.

however, in a marriage it is healthy to compromise and to communicate.
clearly, in this case you are not cheating but you are taking on a potentially dangerous hobby. Then again, there are a lot of hobbies out there besides Motorcycles that are dangerous, and one would by bicycling on the street.

I am married, and that has changed how i ride, drive and deal with other hobbies such as scuba diving. certainly all my decisions affect not only myself by also my family. She supports my hobby and understands the joy and happiness i get from taking care of the bike, going out riding... which i encourage her to join me... are all good things. being happy can only translate to happiness within the relationship.

I agree with a lot of the riders who have posted here that time apart is needed and healthy. As a husband i understand where he is coming from, it is natural for him to want you to be safe... and not seeing the other side can be scary for him.
I am sure that once he sees you excited, rowdy, healthier and happy with a new exciting hobby (that will bring more excitement adn happiness to your relationship) he will come around. maybe even decide to take the course himself.

Be happy, positive and encouraging even if he isn't, and everything will be ok.

My advice would be to take the course. get the license and start with something small, 125cc or 250cc.
Get the proper gear. Most importantly, understand that as a rider in canada there are certain considerations:
1) drivers are not the best in the world, and most do not understand that motorcycles need space and consideration.
2) the weather is inconsistent. there will be rain, cold, winds, and sunny days of scenic riding.
3) all riders understand that dropping a bike or small minor accidents are inevitable. Im not saying anything Crazy, especially if you are careful. but ****** happens.
4) keeps you young, adds a new excitement to life and a great break from daily stresses and distractions.

Once you have 2-3 seasons of riding experience, then there is always the option of switching to 500cc or 600cc in the future.

I wish you safe riding, good luck with your decision.
 
Sounds like you are heading to a fork in the road.
He can pedal his bicycle East and you will ride your motorcycle West.
 
My wife has no desire to ride but bought me a new bike for my birthday. her exact words were" who the hell am I to tell another grown up what the can or cant do". its not about together time its about the mutual respect of the different interests the we both have.
 
If your spouse is giving you a hard time about this, makes you wonder about other things that could be much more important in life. Not suggesting blindly agreeing to what the other wants. There are risks to discuss. My recommendation? Just do it and argue about it afterwards. The make up sex will be great when you get back from your ride.
 
acernec said:
There are just too many wimpy men these days.
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So true. The pussification of mankind continues.

I don't believe your husband's objections have anything to do with your safety based on your post. I'm sure he'd worry but he's probably worried more about feeling emasculated. Sounds like he also hates/is afraid of motorcycles in general. If you buy one behind his back he'll likely hold resentment toward you. I'm not saying to give up on it, just take a more tactful approach that addresses his insecurity/inadequacy issues. Get him on board or at least ok with your decision first. It would be great if you could somehow convince him to take the MSF with you. Easier said than done I guess.
 
Take the course on your own, not as a couples thing with your husband. As for the morals thing... I've never heard any such thing, how ever small scooters can and have been mistaken for one of those ebike things (and vice versa) and everybody hates those.

there are things you have to do that you don't enjoy to make a marriage work, those are things like work, sharing house hold chores, home improvement, etc, but a hobby that he considers fun and you do not isnt compromise unless he to is doing something you consider fun and he finds unpleasant. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to like the same stuff and be joined at the hip. You're not Siamese twins.
 
Tell him him if you ride a motorcycle you ride along side him like the Tour de France and take his picture
 
Why does everyone keep mentioning safety? Her husband rides bicycles, it's not like he's Mr. Safe only guy. He doesn't have a leg to stand on in that regard.
 
spankayf said:
Rubbish ... Frankly I think cycling is more dangerous in the GTA .

I started when I was 46 post divorce ;)

Best thing I ever did ... On both counts
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^^^
LOL This must make a cool bumper sticker!
 
NiceNikki said:
Always believed that was the case...until I decided I like Buell and Ducati motorcycles and didn't care to hear about the latest campagnolo whatever it was....
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Now that sounds like my kinda girl :headbang:
 
Live your life...try to include others but to don't force them. You having soooo much damn fun he'll figure it out. The Buell comment was awesome.
 
cknowles said:
Wow everyone's subject to their own opinion. ;)




“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
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Nice, I love this quote
 
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