Has the city lost it's mind...

I was friends with both my kids , still am. I was also a parent when needed and a parent first . Still am . It wasn’t hard but I had the benefit of growing up in a fairly normal home life , I learned parenting from my parents. There is a lot of that missing now .


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My middle kid now is learning the word ‘no’ as she’s a screamer and crier the second you tell her no.

But we stand firm and not bow down to the crying, begging and pleading of one more ‘rainbow rangers’ or whatever else she has latched on to at that point in time.

It’s tough as they learn how to manipulate early ‘but I’m your little girl how can you say no?’
 
In the early 2000's one of my best friends brothers with behavioral issues (single mother raised) had a teacher sit on him to hold him down until the police got there. I think he got around 20 grand out of the ordeal. Was spent on new dirt bikes and quads for a couple of years, better than drugs I guess.
Parenting is easy these days, just stick a phone in their face 😖
 
Sorry , the fact there was any settlement at all is a testament to how messed our system is . That mom didn’t put that cash in a trust until he was 35 ? Well that’s a problem to.

I know it’s easy to lecture from sitting here with a coffee and a great view .


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Robp said:
So you're saying that neither the threat of it, nor the use of it, actually worked. Thanks for giving first hand experience.

My experience was the strap was 99.9% threat only in my school by the time I started going. I can recall one of my brothers friends getting it, and it did dick all. That kid had a nasty home life and lashed out all the time. Without the root cause being treated, he'll never be cured. That's the crux of the issue with corporal punishment by an outside source. Without the home life being corrected, the kid will just keep lashing out, out of frustration and anger.

As was already stated by someone, parents need to stop being their kids friends. Whenever someone asked me why my kids were so well behaved, I told them it's very simple, don't try to be their friends, and say no frequently.
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In a lot of street gangs, being arrested , taking brutal punishment etc, are signs of being tough enough to gain rank. I don't know if the destructive tough guy mentality can be erased.

Are people like feral cats? After XX weeks of being feral, cats can't become the fully social animals people want as pets.

Nasty home life?

A couple of decades ago I was talking to a 14ish YO kid with a bad attitude. I asked him what he wanted out of life and he replied he wanted a radio, basically a ghetto blaster.

I asked him what he wanted to do with his life, pointing out that an electrician made enough that he could buy a ghetto blaster every day. His huffy reply was " I don't want to be no electrician."

His background: His father was a bum that milked welfare for every cent he could get and played the race card like a pro.

The father ran his kids down every chance he got. I guess he thought by running them down he would look better.

Maybe the kid was a diamond in the rough and some years of polishing could turn him around. But maybe he was beyond help and employers, friends or family had better candidates for opportunities? Why take the risk?
 
crankcall said:
And stick in with the “no” . The number of kids I watch run the parents because nobody wants to have a screamer when your in a public setting is horrible.
Let the kid scream. Teach the other kids to laugh at her.


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You might have appreciated a photo I saw in a photo magazine.

The 4 YO was having a tantrum and dad thought "Nice shot" and started taking pictures, which further incensed the kid. The more pictures he took the angrier the kid got. The picture he posted almost made the ink run.
 
crankcall said:
Sorry , the fact there was any settlement at all is a testament to how messed our system is . That mom didn’t put that cash in a trust until he was 35 ? Well that’s a problem to.

I know it’s easy to lecture from sitting here with a coffee and a great view .


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Mother wasn't much smarter-also had an insurance pay out that she waited years for after a car accident, that money didn't last long either.
He seems to have plenty of opportunities to make enough money to live now being a member of that famous motorcycle club/gang. New schemes fall into his lap often.
 
Robp said:
So you're saying that neither the threat of it, nor the use of it, actually worked. Thanks for giving first hand experience.
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Nine years @ about 200 kids a year, so 1800 school kid years. Six times the strap was used, so I would say the threat worked.
Hope my math is understandable. And for the record, I'm a slow learner so ya 2x. 🫣
How many times would the strap have been used today with what is happening in schools now?
As @ifiddles has said, she has had to clear the classroom many times because of one student. So that one student rules the classroom, the teacher no longer has control or respect from her students. Teachers hands are tied, nothing they can do.
I don't know the answer, but my hat is off to any teacher of todays society.

Just checked, school opened in 1956 with 196 students. 2022-2023 school year, 250 students.
 
In my entire public school time I remember 2 maybe 3 kids ever getting the strap . I did witness things that should have had police brought in and criminal charges . Different times for sure .

I would last till first coffee in a teaching position today . Maybe less . I worked with youth a decade ago when my kids were youths , you could spot the kids that were going to occupy the rear seat of a police car . And i will stand by things I’ve said before , meet mom and dad , often explains the kid .


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I do some work with the various school boards around the GTA and different grade schools. I always find the students at Catholic schools are generally better behaved and more respectful. I know a lot of people have mentioned they should get rid of the separate boards but there definitely is value to having them based on what I have experienced between the 2 systems. I will gladly choose to work with any Catholic school over a non Catholic school any time, because whatever they are doing is working for the students and everyone else connected to them.
 
sburns said:
I do some work with the various school boards around the GTA and different grade schools. I always find the students at Catholic schools are generally better behaved and more respectful. I know a lot of people have mentioned they should get rid of the separate boards but there definitely is value to having them based on what I have experienced between the 2 systems. I will gladly choose to work with any Catholic school over a non Catholic school any time, because whatever they are doing is working for the students and everyone else connected to them.
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In general catholic schools seem less dysfunctional. For many many reasons, I think they should abolish "catholic" schools but nothing is stopping the combined board from adopting portions of their model which were superior. The fact that we have eight school boards in every municipality is craziness. The epitome of waste with little benefit. (Public, catholic, french, french catholic for each of primary and secondary).
 
Of course they are better behaved at a catholic school , the nuns are beastly and if they report you to the priest you run the risk of becoming another statistic at the Vatican for things that never happened. ….


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GreyGhost said:
In general catholic schools seem less dysfunctional. For many many reasons, I think they should abolish "catholic" schools but nothing is stopping the combined board from adopting portions of their model which were superior. The fact that we have eight school boards in every municipality is craziness. The epitome of waste with little benefit. (Public, catholic, french, french catholic for each of primary and secondary).
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I don't think they can transplant the reglious believes and the common thing which binds them into some distilled form, and hope it would work. Otherwise the other school board could already use them as a model, but they can't
 
ToSlow said:
Many times my wife and I was complimented on how well our kids was behaved in restaurants or anywhere else we went.

Never let the tail wag the dog in our house.
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It's one of those things that gives us hope, seeing active but well behaved kids. I remember being in a coffee shop in Kensington and watching a little kid explore but not misbehave. The parents were enjoying their beverages but made sure the little one didn't get into trouble.
 
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