Emotional and mental health aspects of aging

[Mad Mike]

My dad in a nutshell. He tried early retirement because of health issues, worked well for the first couple of months. Over time, his hobbies became boring, and he didn't really have a long term retirment plan, not sure what to do with himself. Mostly, he just sat at home, micromanaging my mother...

He's back at work now, and very much happier (so is my mother).

I tried early retirement too, Lasted 3 years before I went near crazy. I ran out of things to do by myself. When none of your friends are retired, there's nobody to play with.

Another year or two and my first friends will start retiring, I'll go a few years early, but trying it at 50 was a big mistake for me.

 

[TK4]

Long story short, one of my old (and favourite) bosses got jerked around by the company they were working for. The company had a '25 years and out' early retirement eligibility clause. Done, gone, see ya.
Very shortly thereafter, there was a call from a competitor, 'want to come work for us on contract' ? The answer was yes, at an obscene per diem (no health or pension plan to worry about) - work when you want from where you want (Covid was part of it) and after 5 years walked away with a big bag of loot.
No regrets.

 

[crankcall]

Wife retired early , done with hospital work. She’s happy with a good book and a lawn chair . Me? She’s home every day , why would I want to be here ?


Sent from my iPhone using GTAMotorcycle.com

 

[nobbie48]

Wife retired early , done with hospital work. She’s happy with a good book and a lawn chair . Me? She’s home every day , why would I want to be here ?


Sent from my iPhone using GTAMotorcycle.com

A friend calls me sometimes just to shoot the breeze. His age and finances say he should sell his business and put his feet up but after yakking for an hour or two I find out that he's parked at a gas station a mile from his house but doesn't want to go home.

 

[bigpoppa]

sounds like hobbies and staying busy are super important

 

[Mad Mike]

sounds like hobbies and staying busy are super important

Don’t know if it’s hobbies as much as interests and company.

I had hobbies, but I was never interested in burying myself in hobbies all day every day. I missed the social interaction one gets at work, I wasn’t interested in hanging out at bocce, lawn bowling, or craft guilds to see people.

 

[crankcall]

sounds like hobbies and staying busy are super important

Hobbies and interests are really important in my mind . I shoot clay pidgeons every Wed am and have a collection of friends there to talk to . I race sailboats twice a week in the evening and it’s a totally different collection of friends . When winter hits I do a zoom cycling group two eves and Sat am , it’s a hour to cycle , get fit and chat on a zoom group . I’m between that , I go to work .
I thinks it’s important if you’ve alway been social , to stay social. Cocooning in my mind isn’t healthy , mentally or physically.


Sent from my iPhone using GTAMotorcycle.com mobile app

 

[TK4]

When I turned 40, I decided to try and make some changes in my life. Because of that, I was blessed with a whole new world in the GTA running community. I tried a little bit of everything, including triathlon, where I discovered that swimming was an important thing but not the only thing. Last out of the water was okay, I tried and I did my best. I was till ahead of the thousands who never got off the couch. I ran a 1km time trial up Pottery Road hill in 6 minutes - dead last again but proud I'd given it a shot. The crazy things - Stiletto Sprint (twice), Santa Speedo Run many times - its been all about the doing. Now, 32 years later I can't participate the way I used to (injuries and age caught up), but I can still volunteer and cheer on those who can. I'll have the shoebox full of finishers medals to remind me.
Don't ever let anyone suggest you can't or shouldn't - its just running past one driveway at a time...

 

[Wingboy]

Good thread. It's not easy to keep your mental health in a good place as we get older. Physical limitations, retirement and dealing with grief can be very difficult especially if you are alone.
Keep up the positive input.

 

[jc100]

My best friends are an ocean away. However, when we get together it’s like everything was yesterday whether’s it’s been a few years or a few months.

Aside from that I really don’t mind my own company in my downtime. I can watch/eat/drink/do what I want and do it at my own pace and if anything ever goes wrong the only person to blame is me.

There are friends here that know if they need help I’ll be there too.

 

[bitzz]

Keep active, do stuff, BUT... try to learn new things. Learning exercises your brain, keeps it elastic.
Learnt how to knit, do cross words, be a serial killer

 

[Mad Mike]

Keep active, do stuff, BUT... try to learn new things. Learning exercises your brain, keeps it elastic.
Learnt how to knit, do cross words, be a serial killer

I like that advice. I have made it a point to learn something every day of my life. I do it every day. Today I learned how to layout prefab stone for a fireplace mantle I’ll build this winter.

Partly because I’m naturally curious, part because I like to be challenged, and part because I’ve seen a lot of people get dumber as time goes by - and I want nothing to do with that.

 

[Gary]

 

[sburns]

sounds like hobbies and staying busy are super important

I believe it's a combination of physical and mental activities, part of that mental activity has to be some form of socialization. That human interaction, or just being around other people has benefits that can't always be measured.

 

[Priller]

Hobbies or clubs or whatever it is, apparently staying face-to-face social later in life massively reduces your chance of getting cognitive degeneration/dementia/Alzheimer's, or at least delays it.

My family saw this first-hand with my grandmother. My grandparents lived in Niagara-on-the-Lake for many years (before it was cool, yo) as my grandfather was in the army during the second world war, and then fire department, so was able to retire super early. My grandmother had a very active social life there, playing badminton with 'the girls', getting out and about in the town etc.

As they aged, my grandfather decided that they would get ahead of the game and moved them to an apartment in nearby Virgil. They would have been in their early eighties at the time. It was catastrophic for my grandmother, though. She didn't drive, and so was suddenly socially very isolated. The apartment they lived in was really build by and for the local Mennonite community, and she didn't connect with any of them, and Virgil is much more spread out than NOTL, so she was very limited in how much she could get out and do on her own.

Within a year or so, she started forgetting things, and other signs started popping up (leaving the oven on, forgetting names, etc.) That started a downward slide that saw her permanently hospitalised within a couple more years, where she stayed for almost 7 years with a healthy body and a failed mind. She outlived my grandfather, who developed lung cancer but was able to live at home right up until a few days before he died in palliative care. I know which one I'd prefer...

On the other hand, my great-grandmother and great aunt lived to 99 and 98 respectively, and had good quality of life until the end. They both had a relentless quality, where they simply didn't let setbacks slow them down. My great aunt fell and broke her hip in her early 90s, something that is usually fatal (and is what killed my other grandfather.) She refused to let it get her down, and was out with her walker as soon as she was home, determined to make it back to the mall she went to daily. It took a couple months to build up the strength to get there, but she did it. A small thing, but that refusal to give in made a huge difference. They were both extremely social, too, one in the apartment she lived in and the other in her retirement home...

 

[monkeyfarm]

My best friends are an ocean away. However, when we get together it’s like everything was yesterday whether’s it’s been a few years or a few months.

Aside from that I really don’t mind my own company in my downtime. I can watch/eat/drink/do what I want and do it at my own pace and if anything ever goes wrong the only person to blame is me.

There are friends here that know if they need help I’ll be there too.

Ditto, childhood best friend moved back to Europe. Last time we met was for her mothers funeral. Aging can be funny like that some times. We still had a blast reminiscing.

One of my failings is that I don't know when I need help, or when I need to get out of my own head. In that regard, I can count myself lucky that I have friends that look in on me once in a while. Poke the corpse with a stick, see if it pokes back

I'm sort of a foul weather friend in that sense.

 

[monkeyfarm]

I suspect it just means fewer visitors

 

[monkeyfarm]

Don’t know if it’s hobbies as much as interests and company.

I had hobbies, but I was never interested in burying myself in hobbies all day every day. I missed the social interaction one gets at work, I wasn’t interested in hanging out at bocce, lawn bowling, or craft guilds to see people.

Oh boy does this ever hit home.

I was a team lead in 2020 when the lockdown hit. I always considered myself introverted but the sudden loss of social interaction, especially in-person, I was not doing well.

My wife on the other hand took it all in stride. She's made most of her friends online in various MMO video games. For her it was just another day.

I guess personality also plays a big part.

 

[Mad Mike]

Oh boy does this ever hit home.

I was a team lead in 2020 when the lockdown hit. I always considered myself introverted but the sudden loss of social interaction, especially in-person, I was not doing well.

My wife on the other hand took it all in stride. She's made most of her friends online in various MMO video games. For her it was just another day.

I guess personality also plays a big part.

Yikes! That was terror for me. I was teaching at a big bank, my workday before the pandemic was leading a class of 20-30 learners in a classroom setting. That changed to 2 years of ZOOMing -- I just about went crazy. My wife works for a different bank, she took it in stride and had no issues with the isolation. She still works from home several days a week

Seeing no end to the lockdown, I had to pack up and leave. I had interaction with dozens of students a day over Zoom, but that didn't stop me from going batshit crazy. It was the same feeling I had when I retired at 50 and there was nobody to play with.

 

[Lightcycle]

Our motorcycle school went from teaching theory in person (at the local motorcycle shop, which was tres cool), to doing theory over Zoom.

Yeah, easier on everyone's travel and after-work schedules, but what a horrendous step backwards that was in terms of engagement. I much prefer the face-to-face rapport as well as the inter-student interaction and excitement they shared sitting beside someone who they were going to be learning to ride motorcycles with on the weekend.