A Difficult Spouse.... | GTAMotorcycle.com

A Difficult Spouse....

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NiceNikki

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An interesting situation....I had originally planned to take my license awhile back but didn't,primarily to my Other Halfs insistence that I spend more time with him cycling on road bikes before I contemplate a motorcycle.

Well, to make a long story short, the truth is, he is a cyclo god/geek/enthusiast. I am not, nor do I have any plans to become one.

I simply want to learn to ride a scooter and/or motorcycle. But of late, I am getting a lot of 'you aren't being supportive, you don't want to do anything I want to do ' banter.


So the question is this: Is this common for couples where one rides and the other does not? This is a surprisingly new development

He's gone from hating the idea ("Toronto is a horrible place for motorcyclists--there is danger everywhere!!") to then wanting to get a scooter because I had popped into Motoretta one day and revisited the idea as being a good way to get around and save some gas money. Now--after speaking to some local riders on smaller bikes, he is now suggesting that there may be those who will question my good morales if I am on a motorcycle instead of a scooter.

Oiy-veh. When a forty something guy seems to be having trouble with his partner picking up a new hobby, it does make one think. This is very much outside of my normal experience.

I will go ahead and schedule my class -- no more postponing because of some issue he is having with it.
I would like to think that this will settle in time and I am sure it will. But I am truly interested in knowing whether or not this is a universal problem with older adults (35+ ) who pick up motorcycle riding later in life.

Today was a lovely day for a Sunday ride. I am looking forward to when I can take advantage of such a wonderful day..:cool:

p.s. Happened to meet up with some women riders in the parking lot at my local shoppers. I put the question to them and they all seemed to be in agreement:
jealously. To be honest, this never entered my mind... The 'Grandma' (she was, 69 years old and riding for about 15...) told me to not worry about it and 'get cracking' and take my course!
 
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I ride, my wife doesn't and she doesn't care.

She also does stuff I don't, and I don't care.

It's healthy to do things separately.
 
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?
 
georgy said:
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?
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You are seriously suggesting only getting into motorcycling if you are in your 20s or early 30s? That is one helluva sweeping generalization. Let her decide whether or not she can handle it
 
georgy said:
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?
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Rubbish ... Frankly I think cycling is more dangerous in the GTA .

I started when I was 46 post divorce ;)

Best thing I ever did ... On both counts
 
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Are you serious???!!! So you're saying that after your 20's you should be content with whatever experiences you've had in life and just get ready to die?

To the OP; I ride, my wife of almost 20 years doesn't (although she is starting to have the occasional thought). She has her interests, I have mine. A people get older they develop new interests (an usually now have the income to support them). Go out, take the courses and take your time learning, and most if all have fun!

georgy said:
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?
Click to expand...
 
georgy said:
I wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older...especially riding in the city.

If you've never been on bikes in your life, the learning curve is steep and chances are that you will hurt yourself, believe it or not. Most people are not very good drives/aware of their surroundings and putting them on a bike would be hazardous to them and people around them. I'm not saying that you're like that, but I'm making a generalization. Knowing my own wife, I wouldn't want to see her on a bike, especially on the roads in Toronto.

Do you have kids?
Click to expand...

are you serious?
 
All I'm sayin' is that I get what her husband's sayin', you kno wha'am'sayin?

In a family unit, decisions of one spouse affects the other. If there is no compromise, there's divorce.
 
georgy said:
All I'm sayin' is that I get what her husband's sayin', you kno wha'am'sayin?

In a family unit, decisions of one spouse affects the other. If there is no compromise, there's divorce.
Click to expand...

No, you said that if you're already 30 you shouldn't get into motorcycling.
 
I just find it ironic that the spandex wearing potential smear on the road is telling YOU that motorcycling is dangerous....ROFL!!
 
what Jaymurr said is spot on. It is very healthy to have separate hobbies. It brings additional topics of conversation into the relationship. My wife also does not ride and has no desire to get on mine even as a passenger but she encouraged me all the way to take the course and get a bike.

Georgy is way off base with his comments. The first time I got on a bike was at 47. There were women and men older than me taking the course. I will assume that because you ride road bikes you are somewhat athletic and have the coordination that comes with it, as a result you are ahead on the learning curve.

Tell your spouse that you'll follow him around on your scooter or bike when you are ready.

Go for it and enjoy.
 
Motorcycles are like tattoos, you can't get your first one after 40. I have no tattoos.
 
Wow, why is everyone jumping on the hate bandwagon on georgy's opinion.

He said "wouldn't recommend getting into motorcycles to anyone into their late 30s, 40s or older." Which is plausible since motorcycling has a steeper learning curve. Having never ridden a bike, it would make it more susceptible to injury while learning to ride.

Start on something small, practice a lot, and take it easy.
 
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Always believed that was the case...until I decided I like Buell and Ducati motorcycles and didn't care to hear about the latest campagnolo whatever it was....
 
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I am quite adept on a scooter. A motorcycle is both a natural and one might argue, the ultimate progression from there.

Slow and steady, of course..
 
Did a clinic with him last year....he wasn't interested until the day of and then was only able to enter the class due to a cancellation....
 
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