I'll bring a copy for you tomorrowEDIT: @shanekingsley I would love to read that book.
I'll bring a copy for you tomorrowEDIT: @shanekingsley I would love to read that book.
Unplug and let him cry and learn. He will.Did not watch video and could never play video games for more than 45 mins to an hour when I was younger but they are BIG business.
My best friend has a 5 year old and when he was only 2-3 yrs old any time I was in the car with him the only thing that would keep the kid quiet would be to shove his iphone in the kids hands to watch youtube videos of other kids playing with toys, unboxing videos etc and I thought to myself wow this is starting very young. Now he is 5 and can't ride a bike, throw a ball, play soccer, etc. very uncoordinated. My friend has bought him about 10 different types of mini dirtbikes and quads (gas and electric) and the kid couldn't care less. Always goes back to wanting to play his video games on his ipad. My buddies dad told me his kid (my best friend) was the best skater on his hockey team at 5 years old..his kid cant skate at all. I guess he'll have great memories when he grows up of his face being glued to a screen his whole childhood. Very sad.
Could it be that you're chasing something to show others that you've 'made it'? And you'll never really be happy because someone else has it better.
Back to our previous discussions...I don't know you outside of GTAM posts, and I really hope you find your peace and works for you. Because I've seen multiple people posting / stating similar to what you have...and unfortunately a few of them had ended their own life because they were done.
My Dad wrote a book called "The Way To Inner Peace". It's a profoundly deep and life changing book, which essentially takes the core fundamentals of Buddhism and marries it with modern science to help readers find happiness and peace while reducing despair and sadness. I proof read it and edited it for him in my 20's. It's not a religious book by any means, because he considered himself a free thinker and not a Buddhist, but the book uses the principles of Buddhism to illustrate a variety of things.
He self published it and donated thousands of copies to prisons across North America through the Prison Library Networks. I have a large scrap book of the many letters he received from inmates of all walks of life with their sentiments on how the book helped them find inner peace despite their past or present circumstances. I have also a bunch of friends who have read it as it helped them get through very difficult times in their lives, from loss of family members to depression and sadness.
I have hundreds of copies of this book which I give away to anyone that wants a copy. If it sounds like something you might be interested in, PM me and I'll give you a copy. If you take it and it's not your cup of tea, I only ask that you find someone else to give it to that may benefit from it.
Will do@shanekingsley , bring one for me as well.
@shanekingsley , bring one for me as well.
After my share of turmoil that I have faced and gone through in my adult life, I have come to realize that happiness is internal, and the way I would describe it is - Being at peace with what is, now, in the current moment.
I am happy being average, being one amongst 7 billion, being insignificant except to the people that love me and that I love. We don't think our way into good living, we live our way into good thinking
To the OP - What's your line of work if you don't mind me asking.
^
Arent you also married?
It could be as simple as that's just how you are. Some people have chemical and/or mental issues that medicine is unable to resolve.Software development. I'm used to thinking many steps ahead. Literally plays into the angst lol
My life isn't even bad. I don't work overtime, my output is greatly above average and has been ever since I started trying 15 years ago. I have multiple groups of friends who are always asking to hang out, and my income is 2x -3x the household avg. Most coworkers like me and many became friends.
So the happiness things you guys bring up is something I've been asking myself for half a decade now: why do I feel like **** constantly? I should be happy and grateful. Hell, it feels a overwhelmingly shameful to even write this.
It could be as simple as that's just how you are. Some people have chemical and/or mental issues that medicine is unable to resolve.
I normally think of intellect as a circle. You are obviously a smart guy. Get too far around the circle and some parts of a "normal" brain start to misfire while others are working well above average. Keep going and you end up with spectrum stuff from they have trouble functioning or interacting with others but if you find their thing, they are beyond amazing with what appears to be little effort or training.
Software development. I'm used to thinking many steps ahead. Literally plays into the angst lol
My life isn't even bad. I don't work overtime, my output is greatly above average and has been ever since I started trying 15 years ago. I have multiple groups of friends who are always asking to hang out, and my income is 2x -3x the household avg. Most coworkers like me and many became friends.
So the happiness things you guys bring up is something I've been asking myself for half a decade now: why do I feel like **** constantly? I should be happy and grateful. Hell, it feels a overwhelmingly shameful to even write this.
Argghh! I missed it, should have asked before the burger meet lol. I would love a copy of this book too if you don't mind.I'll bring a copy for you tomorrow
Next burger meet I come to that you also go to, I can bring oneArgghh! I missed it, should have asked before the burger meet lol. I would love a copy of this book too if you don't mind.
@OP - I usually steer clear of sharing opinions on these topics as these are quite subjective.
I have a scenario that I would like to share - don't know if you have ever experienced it. A lot of people work hard for the entire year, burn themselves out, and they will take a week or two off from work to an exotic location to shut themselves down thinking that they can undo the damage. After vacation when they're back, they feel exactly the same way as before.
Tl;dr - Balance is the key I feel. Take time to unwind often. Connect with nature often. Retirement is the destination you have set for yourself and you're focussed completely on that I feel. In the process, you're forgetting to achieve balance in your day-to-day.
There is a good video of a chat between Matthew McConaughey and Sadhguru on YouTube. I'm in no way promoting their content but I found both the speakers had valid logical points about life and I could relate to it a little bit. Check it out if you find the time. All the best to you!
Maybe you just need to accept it, stop "trying" to be happy and perhaps in the process, you might just find peace.
Also, a question that was once asked to me, which put a lot of things in perspective, and I think may be relevant to your case - Do you want to be right, or do want to be happy? (Can't have both )
And am not sure if you are a developer for the fondness of writing code, but I have been where you are. More than a decade ago - I got flustered from C++ and moved over QA and finally to the business and product side of things, in IT. That helped - though - still, didn't bring the elusive happiness I was searching for. It so happened, that I was looking at the wrong places for it.
It's most of us lol. My suggestion (and it's only a suggestion) is that you do things you enjoy with your friends and family and just yourself more often. Say once a month as opposed to holding it off for laterThanks for sharing that. The scenario you're mentioning is actually my lifestyle: go HAM for 11/12 months. Take a month off, literally stop everything that takes effort (fitness, work, chores, etc), and just pretend to be a kid again with a bunch of friends who decided to sync their vacations by gaming non-stop.
Would eat into FIRE.
Front load the suffering, and enjoy whatever life is left after.