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Video games and an unrewarding life

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Mikedezo44 said:
Did not watch video and could never play video games for more than 45 mins to an hour when I was younger but they are BIG business.

My best friend has a 5 year old and when he was only 2-3 yrs old any time I was in the car with him the only thing that would keep the kid quiet would be to shove his iphone in the kids hands to watch youtube videos of other kids playing with toys, unboxing videos etc and I thought to myself wow this is starting very young. Now he is 5 and can't ride a bike, throw a ball, play soccer, etc. very uncoordinated. My friend has bought him about 10 different types of mini dirtbikes and quads (gas and electric) and the kid couldn't care less. Always goes back to wanting to play his video games on his ipad. My buddies dad told me his kid (my best friend) was the best skater on his hockey team at 5 years old..his kid cant skate at all. I guess he'll have great memories when he grows up of his face being glued to a screen his whole childhood. Very sad.
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Unplug and let him cry and learn. He will.
But Mommy and Daddy have to grow a pair.
 
mimico_polak said:
Could it be that you're chasing something to show others that you've 'made it'? And you'll never really be happy because someone else has it better.
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Ty for asking this. I wish this were the case but no. We have a shitbox of a car, and a modest home. Our lifestyle is also very cheap.

mimico_polak said:
Back to our previous discussions...I don't know you outside of GTAM posts, and I really hope you find your peace and works for you. Because I've seen multiple people posting / stating similar to what you have...and unfortunately a few of them had ended their own life because they were done.
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Heh, I don't disagree with this at all. Thank you for the kind words.

shanekingsley said:
My Dad wrote a book called "The Way To Inner Peace". It's a profoundly deep and life changing book, which essentially takes the core fundamentals of Buddhism and marries it with modern science to help readers find happiness and peace while reducing despair and sadness. I proof read it and edited it for him in my 20's. It's not a religious book by any means, because he considered himself a free thinker and not a Buddhist, but the book uses the principles of Buddhism to illustrate a variety of things.

He self published it and donated thousands of copies to prisons across North America through the Prison Library Networks. I have a large scrap book of the many letters he received from inmates of all walks of life with their sentiments on how the book helped them find inner peace despite their past or present circumstances. I have also a bunch of friends who have read it as it helped them get through very difficult times in their lives, from loss of family members to depression and sadness.

I have hundreds of copies of this book which I give away to anyone that wants a copy. If it sounds like something you might be interested in, PM me and I'll give you a copy. If you take it and it's not your cup of tea, I only ask that you find someone else to give it to that may benefit from it.
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I might PM you in the future. Thank you.
 
Try to change your perspective and attitude towards life. Many of us choose to see life as a struggle, rather than as a gift.
Your signature says "There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, richer, stronger, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself."
I think happiness belongs on that list.
 
@shanekingsley , bring one for me as well.

After my share of turmoil that I have faced and gone through in my adult life, I have come to realize that happiness is internal, and the way I would describe it is - Being at peace with what is, now, in the current moment.

I am happy being average, being one amongst 7 billion, being insignificant except to the people that love me and that I love. We don't think our way into good living, we live our way into good thinking :)

To the OP - What's your line of work if you don't mind me asking.
 
kurtrules said:
@shanekingsley , bring one for me as well.

After my share of turmoil that I have faced and gone through in my adult life, I have come to realize that happiness is internal, and the way I would describe it is - Being at peace with what is, now, in the current moment.

I am happy being average, being one amongst 7 billion, being insignificant except to the people that love me and that I love. We don't think our way into good living, we live our way into good thinking :)

To the OP - What's your line of work if you don't mind me asking.
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Software development. I'm used to thinking many steps ahead. Literally plays into the angst lol

My life isn't even bad. I don't work overtime, my output is greatly above average and has been ever since I started trying 15 years ago. I have multiple groups of friends who are always asking to hang out, and my income is 2x -3x the household avg. Most coworkers like me and many became friends.

So the happiness things you guys bring up is something I've been asking myself for half a decade now: why do I feel like **** constantly? I should be happy and grateful. Hell, it feels a overwhelmingly shameful to even write this.
 
george__ said:
^
Arent you also married?
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Not legally but might as well be. She's also extremely successful....and somewhat depressed for similar reasons lol
 
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油井緋色 said:
Software development. I'm used to thinking many steps ahead. Literally plays into the angst lol

My life isn't even bad. I don't work overtime, my output is greatly above average and has been ever since I started trying 15 years ago. I have multiple groups of friends who are always asking to hang out, and my income is 2x -3x the household avg. Most coworkers like me and many became friends.

So the happiness things you guys bring up is something I've been asking myself for half a decade now: why do I feel like **** constantly? I should be happy and grateful. Hell, it feels a overwhelmingly shameful to even write this.
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It could be as simple as that's just how you are. Some people have chemical and/or mental issues that medicine is unable to resolve.

I normally think of intellect as a circle. You are obviously a smart guy. Get too far around the circle and some parts of a "normal" brain start to misfire while others are working well above average. Keep going and you end up with spectrum stuff where they have trouble functioning or interacting with others but if you find their thing, they are beyond amazing with what appears to be little effort or training.
 
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GreyGhost said:
It could be as simple as that's just how you are. Some people have chemical and/or mental issues that medicine is unable to resolve.

I normally think of intellect as a circle. You are obviously a smart guy. Get too far around the circle and some parts of a "normal" brain start to misfire while others are working well above average. Keep going and you end up with spectrum stuff from they have trouble functioning or interacting with others but if you find their thing, they are beyond amazing with what appears to be little effort or training.
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I've worked with some of the spectrum guys you're referring to and their output is on another level.

...but now that you mention it, they're usually miserable mother fuckers too LOL
 
油井緋色 said:
Software development. I'm used to thinking many steps ahead. Literally plays into the angst lol

My life isn't even bad. I don't work overtime, my output is greatly above average and has been ever since I started trying 15 years ago. I have multiple groups of friends who are always asking to hang out, and my income is 2x -3x the household avg. Most coworkers like me and many became friends.

So the happiness things you guys bring up is something I've been asking myself for half a decade now: why do I feel like **** constantly? I should be happy and grateful. Hell, it feels a overwhelmingly shameful to even write this.
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Maybe you just need to accept it, stop "trying" to be happy and perhaps in the process, you might just find peace.
Also, a question that was once asked to me, which put a lot of things in perspective, and I think may be relevant to your case - Do you want to be right, or do want to be happy? (Can't have both :) )

And am not sure if you are a developer for the fondness of writing code, but I have been where you are. More than a decade ago - I got flustered from C++ and moved over QA and finally to the business and product side of things, in IT. That helped - though - still, didn't bring the elusive happiness I was searching for. It so happened, that I was looking at the wrong places for it.
 
Meh never played video games don't really care for computers, had the kids the fi thing is well taken care of and I could retire anytime if I felt like it. Get out side do things and enjoy life. Not a boomer either.

Sent using a thumb maybe 2
 
@OP - I usually steer clear of sharing opinions on these topics as these are quite subjective.

I have a scenario that I would like to share - don't know if you have ever experienced it. A lot of people work hard for the entire year, burn themselves out, and they will take a week or two off from work to an exotic location to shut themselves down thinking that they can undo the damage. After vacation when they're back, they feel exactly the same way as before.

Tl;dr - Balance is the key I feel. Take time to unwind often. Connect with nature often. Retirement is the destination you have set for yourself and you're focussed completely on that I feel. In the process, you're forgetting to achieve balance in your day-to-day.

There is a good video of a chat between Matthew McConaughey and Sadhguru on YouTube. I'm in no way promoting their content but I found both the speakers had valid logical points about life and I could relate to it a little bit. Check it out if you find the time. All the best to you!
 
voyageur said:
Argghh! I missed it, should have asked before the burger meet lol. I would love a copy of this book too if you don't mind.
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Next burger meet I come to that you also go to, I can bring one:)
 
voyageur said:
@OP - I usually steer clear of sharing opinions on these topics as these are quite subjective.

I have a scenario that I would like to share - don't know if you have ever experienced it. A lot of people work hard for the entire year, burn themselves out, and they will take a week or two off from work to an exotic location to shut themselves down thinking that they can undo the damage. After vacation when they're back, they feel exactly the same way as before.

Tl;dr - Balance is the key I feel. Take time to unwind often. Connect with nature often. Retirement is the destination you have set for yourself and you're focussed completely on that I feel. In the process, you're forgetting to achieve balance in your day-to-day.

There is a good video of a chat between Matthew McConaughey and Sadhguru on YouTube. I'm in no way promoting their content but I found both the speakers had valid logical points about life and I could relate to it a little bit. Check it out if you find the time. All the best to you!
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Thanks for sharing that. The scenario you're mentioning is actually my lifestyle: go HAM for 11/12 months. Take a month off, literally stop everything that takes effort (fitness, work, chores, etc), and just pretend to be a kid again with a bunch of friends who decided to sync their vacations by gaming non-stop.

Will check out the YouTube stuff you mentioned this weekend. Thank you again.

Edit: I should mention...my landshark of a puppy is helping with this a lot. I just gotta look at her and she gives me unconditional love...even if it involves biting my nose sometimes because she thinks I'm a dog.
 
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kurtrules said:
Maybe you just need to accept it, stop "trying" to be happy and perhaps in the process, you might just find peace.
Also, a question that was once asked to me, which put a lot of things in perspective, and I think may be relevant to your case - Do you want to be right, or do want to be happy? (Can't have both :) )

And am not sure if you are a developer for the fondness of writing code, but I have been where you are. More than a decade ago - I got flustered from C++ and moved over QA and finally to the business and product side of things, in IT. That helped - though - still, didn't bring the elusive happiness I was searching for. It so happened, that I was looking at the wrong places for it.
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The bolded point is pretty loaded lol

Part of being successful does involve being right, which often involves doing people's work for them because they suck at their job for whatever reason. And you're right, this makes me ******* miserable, even rageful. I've seen this from every layer: QA all the way up to the CEO level. But somebody has to right? Isn't the right thing to do by loading as much on oneself as possible as long as one doesn't break? There is also the added context where if someone doesn't pick it up, it will screw the whole team over. Somebody has to step up. This POV would also contribute to the gamers who decided "**** this I'm out". I know a few devs that ****** out of work due to this.

This thread went an unexpected direction; I've got a lot of thinking to do.

EDIT: Btw, for all the folk who jumped on the millennial are weak, whiny, and whatever bandwagon....I did buy into that and didn't want to be anything like it. I guess this is the other side lol
 
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油井緋色 said:
Thanks for sharing that. The scenario you're mentioning is actually my lifestyle: go HAM for 11/12 months. Take a month off, literally stop everything that takes effort (fitness, work, chores, etc), and just pretend to be a kid again with a bunch of friends who decided to sync their vacations by gaming non-stop.
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It's most of us lol. My suggestion (and it's only a suggestion) is that you do things you enjoy with your friends and family and just yourself more often. Say once a month as opposed to holding it off for later :)
 
油井緋色 said:
Would eat into FIRE.

Front load the suffering, and enjoy whatever life is left after.
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I'm not a multi-millionaire but I have a fairly successful career in technology and I have to say - this mentality is actually completely incorrect.

What you want to do is find small ways to be happy every day, and shift your life and mindset completely to achieve this - the most successful and rich people aren't suffering with an end-game, they're finding ways to be happy along the way.

Everyone who works in tech, doesn't matter if its development, devops, administration, whatever, should read this:

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work: Achor, Shawn: 9780274809356: Amazon.com: Books

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work [Achor, Shawn] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work
www.amazon.com
 
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