Should men enter into marriage? Is it in their interest?

[-D-]

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Guys can go into marriage with all the best intentions...i.e. long term commitment, kids, future, etc.....but get screwed after a while cause the woman made a decision. He goes in to share everything he worked for before marriage with a life long partner, not to share it with a woman that decided to split. She should not take half of everything owned pre marriage just because of being married.

Newsflash and what most guys don't know...you don't have to be married...once she lives with you 6 months or visits and sleeps over 3 times per week you could easily be on the hook for alimony. A little reading reveals a lot. There is actually a govt guide and agreement you can download (like a prenup).

 

[mmmnaked]

Lots of anecdotal evidence around but for me one of the saddest was the young partner I had at the last construction job. 3hr commute, 9hr shift supporting a wife who wants to be a Kardashian. Can't win that one.

That's because he's an idiot, plain and simple. Its not "the system" screwing him, he screwed himself.

 

[mmmnaked]

She should not take half of everything owned pre marriage just because of being married.

The rules are simple and pretty straight forward IMO. If you're bringing wholly owned assets into the marriage, then sign a pre-nup and you should be covered. Any assets gained or wealth earned while married should be divvied up equally, especially when kids are involved. Yeah you're the guy making the cheddar, but she's the one [supposedly] taking care of the kids and washing the dishes etc etc. Does washing dishes earn her half? Not directly. But indirectly she's [again supposedly] easing your load at home so that you can advance your career and wealth. Whats the issue?

 

[mmmnaked]

Newsflash and what most guys don't know...you don't have to be married...once she lives with you 6 months or visits and sleeps over 3 times per week you could easily be on the hook for alimony. A little reading reveals a lot. There is actually a govt guide and agreement you can download (like a prenup).

6 months???? Where'd you get that? Its 3 years. Or 1 year if there's a child.

 

[-D-]

definitely no, and not just because you're male

all a license from the government does is make people lazy in the maintenance of a relationship

a long term commitment between 2 people I suppose can be rewarding, didn't work well for me,
all the marriage BS did was give the lawyers a few more bucks when getting untangled from each other

as for kids, if you're gonna be in a sexual relationship with a woman, understand that you have no
control over that, none, so best be prepared for the possibility of a 20 year commitment with a kid,
not necessarily her

see bold above
uhm what other primary reason would male/female want to be with male/female, lol
I guess it happens that the odd male and female live together and just knit or play checkers for fun.

 

[-D-]

6 months???? Where'd you get that? Its 3 years. Or 1 year if there's a child.

no it's not
common law is now 1 year in Ontario
she can take you to court and make a claim
3 nights a week at your place and hope she does not send her cellphone bill there...because she has established a 'domain/domicile'.
If I get motivated I will try to find the link to that govt guide for all.
Trust me, I was surprised reading the stuff as well.

 

[inreb]

If a married couple with kids gets divorced, and the man is making more money, then of course he should support his ex spouse and his children. I don't see an issue with this. Its a tough pill to swallow, but that's life. You'd be splitting that money regardless, except now your pay check needs to cover 2 homes, etc. That's life.

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces. Are men severely flawed or is that life? As a man you're on the bubble from the moment you say "I do". There's much truth to "ain't nobody happy if Mama ain't happy"

 

[mmmnaked]

no it's not
common law is now 1 year in Ontario
she can take you to court and make a claim
3 nights a week at your place and hope she does not send her cellphone bill there...because she has established a 'domain/domicile'.
If I get motivated I will try to find the link to that govt guide for all.
Trust me, I was surprised reading the stuff as well.

Common law criteria depends on which rights are in question. The CRA, for example, wants 1 year of living together in a conjugal relationship.

I have no idea where you get this 3 nights a week and 6 months stuff. Please do take the time to provide a link.

 

[mmmnaked]

Women initiate the vast majority of divorces. Are men severely flawed or is that life? As a man you're on the bubble from the moment you say "I do". There's much truth to "ain't nobody happy if Mama ain't happy"

Men are flawed at monogamy because its unnatural. So yes, I would not be surprised to learn that women initiate most divorces.

Not sure what that has to do with divvying up assets and paying spousal and child support.

 

[J_F]

Newsflash and what most guys don't know...you don't have to be married...once she lives with you 6 months or visits and sleeps over 3 times per week you could easily be on the hook for alimony. A little reading reveals a lot. There is actually a govt guide and agreement you can download (like a prenup).

yes, alimony is the term thrown around, but it's spousal support, and correct that after 6 months of co-habitation it's in play,
this is the part of splitting that can be litigated and where most of the fighting comes from as there are no legislated amounts

child support is simple, there's a table used to determine that down to the penny, nothing to fight about, you just gotta pay

division of assets/liabilities is straight forward, 50/50 post union, self employment can complicate this,
she can try to claim part of future earnings claiming she helped build the Co, and usually get something

but spousal support is where we get %*()%# most often....we work our ***** off to support the family,
while she rides the baby train, and we get punished for this

best advice from a guy that recently went through this: you have to starve her for a bit until she comes to her
senses, what you don't know is that long before you even know there's a problem, she will be acting on bad
advice from the ***** network and a lawyer promising a windfall, a year or so of trying to make it on her own
will smarten her up and then you can begin the spousal support negotiation, do not even talk about it until you
financially spank her a bit

 

[mmmnaked]

but spousal support is where we get %*()%# most often....we work our ***** off to support the family,
while she rides the baby train, and we get punished for this

This is also where men have severely flawed thinking. Do you have kids and a wife? Just curious. I do. My wife sacrificed her career and her body so that we could have children. If we split up down the road, it's only right for her to be compensated for that sacrifice. The law exists for this reason precisely. Now, if she's a terrible wife, does nothing at the house, and barely cares for the kids... well, you got the **** end of the stick. But that's your fault, you picked her. The law has to exist to protect the good ones.

 

[inreb]

Men are flawed at monogamy because its unnatural. So yes, I would not be surprised to learn that women initiate most divorces.

Not sure what that has to do with divvying up assets and paying spousal and child support.

If you're hearing that here for the first time you're probably blue pill. Did you not view the videos linked above? There is a metric tonne more on youtube. And they stand up to scrutiny. People don't get married because they want to be divorced, I'm not even talking about divvying up assets yet.

 

[mmmnaked]

If you're hearing that here for the first time you're probably blue pill. Did you not view the videos linked above? There is a metric tonne more on youtube. And they stand up to scrutiny. People don't get married because they want to be divorced, I'm not even talking about divvying up assets yet.

Divorce and associated statistics is not something I bother studying. I always assumed women would be the initiators of most divorces but never learned it for a fact. Are such statistics even tracked? Regardless. The pertinent bit is that its not surprising as men are biologically not programmed to be monogamous. Its a foreign concept IMO.

 

[J_F]

This is also where men have severely flawed thinking. Do you have kids and a wife? Just curious. I do. My wife sacrificed her career and her body so that we could have children. If we split up down the road, it's only right for her to be compensated for that sacrifice. The law exists for this reason precisely. Now, if she's a terrible wife, does nothing at the house, and barely cares for the kids... well, you got the **** end of the stick. But that's your fault, you picked her. The law has to exist to protect the good ones.

I agree if a woman's career is put on hold while she raises kids there should be a period where she is given the opportunity
to get her skills caught up to re-enter the work force, a few years at the most, then she's on her own

case law currently suggests that beyond a 17 year relationship when the woman was the primary care giver to the children,
the spousal award at play can often be for life

and brother, they are all good, until they decide you're done, give it time

edit: and you explained why, in most cases, they initiate the process before the guy even suspects a problem,
they become resentful that they gave away their youth that is now gone, and all they got was you, give it time

 

[ifiddles]

no it's not
common law is now 1 year in Ontario
she can take you to court and make a claim
3 nights a week at your place and hope she does not send her cellphone bill there...because she has established a 'domain/domicile'.
If I get motivated I will try to find the link to that govt guide for all.
Trust me, I was surprised reading the stuff as well.

common law is 3 years without children and less (IIRC 6 months) with children...here's a great pamphlet to read https://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/familyla.html

 

[mmmnaked]

I agree if a woman's career is put on hold while she raises kids there should be a period where she is given the opportunity
to get her skills caught up to re-enter the work force, a few years at the most, then she's on her own

case law currently suggests that beyond a 17 year relationship when the woman was the primary care giver to the children,
the spousal award at play can often be for life

and brother, they are all good, until they decide you're done, give it time

A couple of years to "re enter the workforce" lol is that a joke? C'mon. If we're gonna have a discussion lets be realistic. After 15 years of raising children you think a woman can just restart her career and be back up to par in 2 years? Maybe, if the career is serving coffee at Tim's.

 

[mmmnaked]

common law is 3 years without children and less (IIRC 6 months) with children...here's a great pamphlet to read https://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/familyla.html

Just go and read the law itself. -D- was wrong plain and simple. https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90f03#BK35

PART III
SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS

Definitions
29. In this Part,

“dependant” means a person to whom another has an obligation to provide support under this Part; (“personne à charge”)

“spouse” means a spouse as defined in subsection 1 (1), and in addition includes either of two persons who are not married to each other and have cohabited,

(a) continuously for a period of not less than three years, or

(b) in a relationship of some permanence, if they are the parents of a child as set out in section 4 of the Children’s Law Reform Act. (“conjoint”) R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 29; 1999, c. 6, s. 25 (2); 2005, c. 5, s. 27 (4-6); 2009, c. 11, s. 30; 2016, c. 23, s. 47 (1).

 

[J_F]

A couple of years to "re enter the workforce" lol is that a joke? C'mon. If we're gonna have a discussion lets be realistic. After 15 years of raising children you think a woman can just restart her career and be back up to par in 2 years? Maybe, if the career is serving coffee at Tim's.

I said 3 years, and yes, while it is of course up to her to decide what to do with the time,
a 3 year paid cushion is enough to get a college diploma and get a decent job

if she's let her looks go and can't land another dude that's her responsibility, has nothing to do with spitting out bambinos

 

[inreb]

Divorce and associated statistics is not something I bother studying. I always assumed women would be the initiators of most divorces but never learned it for a fact. Are such statistics even tracked? Regardless. The pertinent bit is that its not surprising as men are biologically not programmed to be monogamous. Its a foreign concept IMO.

Many reasons why things fall apart, the fact is they do. The major question today is, is it worth the risk to marry? Hard to answer that if you (not YOU) can't quantify the risks. Believe me, I'm the first to wish male/female relations were not so tenuous or more precisely I wish things were the way I thought they were when I was young. The world has changed.

 

[mmmnaked]

I said 3 years, and yes, while it is of course up to her to decide what to do with the time,
a 3 year paid cushion is enough to get a college diploma and get a decent job

if she's let her looks go and can't land another dude that's her responsibility, has nothing to do with spitting out bambinos

So you've had 15 years to grow your career and she gets 3?

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