Motorcycling and your SO

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Jayv said:
Probably just to mind **** you lol.

She doesn't want you to ride, but buys you a bike.....
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Or.... I enjoy motorcycling and she wants me to do what I enjoy...?

But we're just two secure, mature adults....

I find it perplexing how many guys I know who seem to have to get approval/permission from their wives for so many things.
They talk about it jokingly, but it reveals a disturbing power imbalance within their relationships...
 
Hack said:
Or.... I enjoy motorcycling and she wants me to do what I enjoy...?

But we're just two secure, mature adults....

I find it perplexing how many guys I know who seem to have to get approval/permission from their wives for so many things.
They talk about it jokingly, but it reveals a disturbing power imbalance within their relationships...
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All marriages are different , I still find it bizarre that some married couples have separate bank accounts. What works for some, doesn’t work for others.
 
sburns said:
One friend made a comment (a girl, sorry ladies) "the engine is right there and you are sitting on it". Ya a guess.. kinda freaked her out.
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Tell her when she gets into her car that the crankshaft, spinning wildly at thousands of RPM's, with flailing pistons and rods attached to it...is maybe 12-24" from her feet.

Iceman said:
My wife rides as well, with or without me lol. She knew when she met me that I was a bike freak. She just decided to come along for the ride.
She now really enjoys riding, but isn't actually all that "into bikes" in general.
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My wife was roundabout half responsible for me getting back into riding after a 20+ year hiatus. One day out of the blue she sent me a text with a photo of an E-Bike at a liquidation store she was at. I just happened to be making a delivery at Cycle Salvage in Peterborough at that exact moment, so I sent her a photo back of one of their used motorcycles for sale sitting out front, saying "This looks like way more fun!". The response I got back was "That looks cool".

The rest is history.

She also rides her own now (it didn't take too many long 2up rides for her to decide she liked the experience of riding, but not so much on the back) and she went and got her own licence. And again, the rest is history.

She's not really "into" motorcycles either so far as being one who will go to a show and ooh and ahh over the latest bike or whatever, but she likes her motorcycle and is proud of it. That's cool with me.

Hack said:
Or.... I enjoy motorcycling and she wants me to do what I enjoy...?

But we're just two secure, mature adults....

I find it perplexing how many guys I know who seem to have to get approval/permission from their wives for so many things.
They talk about it jokingly, but it reveals a disturbing power imbalance within their relationships...
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There's a difference between "permission" and a willingness to at least come to an understanding. That old addage, "Happy wife, happy life" comes to mind.

To play devils advocate, if you take the attitude of "**** you, I'm going to go do whatever the hell I want, I don't care what your opinion is", where's the power imbalance now?
 
PrivatePilot said:
To play devils advocate, if you take the attitude of "**** you, I'm going to go do whatever the hell I want, I don't care what your opinion is", where's the power imbalance now?
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You can acknowledge someone's opinion, but that doesn't mean you have to change yours.
I'm talking about guys who can't even go meet a buddy for a beer cuz their wife doesn't approve...
That guy needs to say **** you I'll do what I want.
If his wife can't handle it... she needs to learn how
 
My best friend couldn't go out for breakfast on a Saturday morning with 'checking the temperature' of his significant other. She would get into a mood. Now in fairness he may have forgotten to go home from work two or three evenings for many hours.

Then he bought a motorcycle, she didn't like it. They have been separated for two years now.
 
Last year I took a trip out west
I had about 5 weeks off work and had no firm date as to when I was going to get back...
In my head I figured a week out, ten days out there and then a week back....
It only took me 5 days to get to the Okanagan...
At some point, for whatever reason headed for home a few days early. 'Took me 4 days.... I had been gone only three weeks..
My wife's comment was...
"Why are you back so soon?"
"You don't have to get back to work for a couple more weeks".

I guess I could take this two ways... Either she wants me to enjoy my trip(s) or.... She prefers it when I'm not home.

I wonder.... Lol
 
Separate bank accounts are a must. Have a joint for your joint bills, but pay for your personal pleasures from your own account.


(was quoting JayV but the quote didn't work)
 
Hyperion said:
Separate bank accounts are a must. Have a joint for your joint bills, but pay for your personal pleasures from your own account.
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Meh, full joint works as well if you're mature enough to manage your money together. My wife and I have had joint accounts since we got together over 20 years ago. She spends what she wants, I spend what I want, we pay the bills, the end. We've nothing to hide from each other so the worst that happens is that if we see a big expenditure pop up we ask each other what it was after the fact, and I don't even really care about that much of the time - she spends a lot of money on clothing and shoes. I spent lots of money on electronics. It is what it is.

Anything over $500 or so we discuss beforehand as well.

Works fine for us.
 
PrivatePilot said:
Meh, full joint works as well if you're mature enough to manage your money together. My wife and I have had joint accounts since we got together over 20 years ago. She spends what she wants, I spend what I want, we pay the bills, the end. We've nothing to hide from each other so the worst that happens is that if we see a big expenditure pop up we ask each other what it was after the fact, and I don't even really care about that much of the time - she spends a lot of money on clothing and shoes. I spent lots of money on electronics. It is what it is.

Anything over $500 or so we discuss beforehand as well.

Works fine for us.
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That's pretty much my situation the past 25 years...
It's not "my" money or "her" money.. it's just "the" money...
 
We have both separate and joint accounts. Slush fund gets XXX dollars from each of us every week to fund the 'house account' . That runs the day to day expenses for everything. We each have our own accounts , mine funds motorcycles and yacht racing, extracuricular vacations. Hers buys something, no real idea what.
We like the idea that Christmas gifts and birthdays dont just come out of the house account. Not that it really makes a difference but its what has always worked for us.

If anything 'bad' ever happened the lawyers would sort out where all the cash is anyway. We dont have hide it offshore cash.
 
PrivatePilot said:
Meh, full joint works as well if you're mature enough to manage your money together. My wife and I have had joint accounts since we got together over 20 years ago. She spends what she wants, I spend what I want, we pay the bills, the end. We've nothing to hide from each other so the worst that happens is that if we see a big expenditure pop up we ask each other what it was after the fact, and I don't even really care about that much of the time - she spends a lot of money on clothing and shoes. I spent lots of money on electronics. It is what it is.

Anything over $500 or so we discuss beforehand as well.

Works fine for us.
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Couldn't agree more with this statement. My wife is my partner.
 
There is not much to be added other than there or so few authentic experiences anymore in the digital world. My wife doesnt come on many rides anymore but we did do the alps previously and other trips prior to settling down.

My current ride is suitable for 2 up again but these days she is pretty timorous about motorized travel.

I still get out (now that kid is older 12) on an annual trip down to the Gap .

Riding has been apart of my life for many decades...

BB
 
I've been married 15 years, we've never had a joint account other than when we had the mortgage. Life is simple this way.

He doesn't ride, doesn't like it. Meh

His problem, not mine. Short of giving it up I can't make it any better so I don't even try.
 
divorced in 2010 and went out to get my M1 and bike (ex didn't like them, so i didn't bother - to keep the peace)...any guy i dated after the divorce HAD to be into bikes, or realize/accept that i was...met my current hubby in 2013...he rode back in his 20s but hadn't since then, so knowing it was a passion of mine, he went out and bought one...we've been riding together ever since! wouldn't have it any other way...
 
I rode when I met my wife and she knows it’s important to me.

However, I lost a good friend that rode and have a few others that have been seriously injured.

Her Dad rides. And would never ask me to stop.

But, she didn’t seem as enthusiastic to go with me over a season or two and changed to a small convertible.

I haven’t given up on motorcycles. I just changed for the time being.



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