Motorcycling and your SO

Underdog

Underdog

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Hi all

Apologies if already mentioned in a different topic/time...

I've been on two wheels most of my life.
My wife does NOT support my hobby, as I am
sure I am not the only one in this situation...but I'm am desperately trying to convince her that she has to accept it, as I love riding more than a lot of things in my life and it has been a part of me since childhood...I have my priorities sorted and know right from wrong...Wife, kids & family is always first but motorcycles & career (work) close 2nd...Just wandering what stories/opinions are with other members?
Thanks


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If my wife ever said "it's the motorcycle or me" I'd be single.

I also use my riding time as my escape.
I don't get out as much as I should, though.

The only good advice that I have is be much less angry than I am. There have been times that I wanted to go for a ride, she protested, I got ****** off, then didn't ride because I won't ride angry, and then she got what she wanted.
If I was more calm, I could still go for the ride and then come back even more clear headed.


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I'd recommend not procreating with anyone that dislikes motorcycles.
Don't want to pass on that bad gene.
 
Providing you are not awash in so many hobbies that you're spending a lot of time away from your family, stand fast on it. You are allowed to have some personal time doing things *you* enjoy even if unfortunately your spouse doesn't.

Obviously, within reason - taking off for several days every few weeks isn't going to win you any spouse awards, but going for a ride for a few hours every weekend shouldn't be a huge deal so long as you're not doing so at the expense of family events, etc etc.

Have you considered trying to introduce your wife to the potential of riding her own via asking her to try the M1/M2 college motorcycle course? She may find she actually enjoys it...and then you can buy HER a bike as well and then ride together - problem solved. My wife rides her own and needless to say it's a far more enjoyable experience where we go on most trips together vs me riding off alone.
 
What a ****** situation to be in. There are other threads like this on the forum, family vs motorcycle, spouse vs motorcycle. Ultimatums suck period. Live and let live, or live and let die. I guess SO's put this guilt trip on you as they don't want to be mourning you should the worst happen...which strangely opens a portal in your brain to allow the worst to happen. You lose your riding confidence when you focus on what "could" happen. Kind of like subliminal target fixation. Do you ride a cruiser, sportbike, supermoto? Perhaps you could take her to a track and show her how safe it is under controlled circumstances and then take up track?

Or bribe her. Threaten to get her a puppy if she leaves your decision to ride motorcycles alone.

:)

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nxjimo.jpg




That said... My wife went out and bought an FJR for me... I didn't even get to pick the colour.
 
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We each have our hobbies that take up time but we both spend the majority of time together. She just says "Be careful" (street rides) or "Try not to come back with any new injuries" (dirtbiking) although she comes home with more soccer related injuries.
Since I started riding bikes at age 4, every woman I've ever met has been after I was already immersed in bikes. Only one has ever told me I had to give up bikes if we had kids but she was controlling anyways so that didn't last.
You didn't mention why she's against the bike/s. As long as it's financially feasable and as you stated you've got your priorities in check then I feel it's something she will have to accept since it's something she knew was apart of your life when she met you.
 
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I rode when I met her so she knew it was part of the landscape, there were years when the kids were small and money was tight so biking was limited but never off the table.
Motorcycling is something I do, I like it a lot, but it doesn't define me as a person. I do other stuff.

I'm often told on a Saturday morning or weeknight, hey why don't you go for a ride while its nice out. All girls are different.
 
Thank you all for taking time to comment. It is much appreciated!
I realized this issue will have to be dealt with strategically/systematically in order to make everyone happy...
GTAM rocks!


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You also get attitude from friends, co-workers, in-laws, etc. If you're responsible then you'll have life and disability insurance to take care of the little ones. If you're irresponsible any discussion on the subject is useless.
 
Underdog said:
I realized this issue will have to be dealt with strategically/systematically in order to make everyone happy...
Click to expand...


If you need to resort to "strategy" in order to "make everyone happy"... You're marriage is dysfunctional.

[video=youtube;Ph-38N47yTM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ph-38N47yTM[/video]
 
Hack said:
nxjimo.jpg




That said... My wife went out and bought an FJR for me... I didn't even get to pick the colour.
Click to expand...

Probably just to mind **** you lol.

She doesn't want you to ride, but buys you a bike.....

My wife is not a fan of two wheels, neither was my son. Occasionally i would take them for a 2 up lazy cruise and they were ok with that. When i use to race they came out and watched for the first season, but after that no more. That was alright for me, i was more relaxed being by myself.
 
I will just share this since I cannot fully relate to the op situation. Some friends of mine were shocked that I started riding. Not because I did, but because it is seen as very dangerous. Basically some people are scared of motorcycles. One friend made a comment (a girl, sorry ladies) "the engine is right there and you are sitting on it". Ya a guess.. kinda freaked her out.

Last year I met up with friend to show him the bike, and he mentioned how he also wanted to ride as some of his other friends were riders already. But the wife wouldn't allow it. Now he's got 2 young kids and is the main provider, finance's are not the issue with him not riding. He said this is the one thing the wife wouldn't back down off, or negotiate with, so he was shutdown.

The take away here, there are a lot of people who just don't see the cool aspect of motorcycles and just see them as scary or dangerous, and too risky.
 
Sometimes being practical about it helps

E.g. properly budgeting for motorcycle & expenses, getting a useful life insurance policy
 
sburns said:
He said this is the one thing the wife wouldn't back down off, or negotiate with, so he was shutdown.
Click to expand...

Riding is a deal breaker? Don't forget to take your toothbrush.
 
When I got married, one of the things we agreed on was nobody changes the rules. She had family get togethers 20 or 30 times a year, I had my bikes, sleds, and boats. I never liked the frequency of the family events, she always worried about the my dangerous toys and even more dangerous behaviour -- but neither of us changed the rules or made ultimatums.

With 2 kids and one on the way it happened -- the big crash. I decided to park the dangerous toys (bikes, sled, and ATV) until her and the kids were no longer dependent on dad (me). A few years passed, I grew a bit tamer and we got to the point where the kids were alright and dead or alive didn't mean much of a difference financially. Mike rides again.

Bikes always scared the crap out of m​
y wife, she rode the kids minibikes but never would try 2up on a road bike. She always knew riding was my passion, she encouraged me to get back on my wheels. She even went as far as surprising me when she showed me the invoice for a brand new pink S40 and 2 registrations for learning curves. Still scared, she went got her M2 and I did the course with her to help her overcome her fear. That never happened, we sold her bike after 2 seasons and she bought 2 stupidly expensive pedal bikes -- that's been her passion since.
 
My wife rides as well, with or without me lol. She knew when she met me that I was a bike freak. She just decided to come along for the ride.
She now really enjoys riding, but isn't actually all that "into bikes" in general.

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Mad Mike said:
When I got married, one of the things we agreed on was nobody changes the rules. She had family get togethers 20 or 30 times a year, I had my bikes, sleds, and boats. I never liked the frequency of the family events, she always worried about the my dangerous toys and even more dangerous behaviour -- but neither of us changed the rules or made ultimatums.

With 2 kids and one on the way it happened -- the big crash. I decided to park the dangerous toys (bikes, sled, and ATV) until her and the kids were no longer dependent on dad (me). A few years passed, I grew a bit tamer and we got to the point where the kids were alright and dead or alive didn't mean much of a difference financially. Mike rides again.

Bikes always scared the crap out of m​
y wife, she rode the kids minibikes but never would try 2up on a road bike. She always knew riding was my passion, she encouraged me to get back on my wheels. She even went as far as surprising me when she showed me the invoice for a brand new pink S40 and 2 registrations for learning curves. Still scared, she went got her M2 and I did the course with her to help her overcome her fear. That never happened, we sold her bike after 2 seasons and she bought 2 stupidly expensive pedal bikes -- that's been her passion since.
Click to expand...
I'm so freaking glad this story didn't end the way I thought it was going to.


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