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Jokes
- Thread starter ifiddles
- Start date
ifiddles
Well-known member
An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
DownUnder
Well-known member
Lol peak dad bod.
Nice! So I’m on track…sans yacht…
DownUnder
Well-known member
If you can afford a motorbike and insurance for one in Ontario your probably not far off being able to afford a yatch purchase.
"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, planes, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."
"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to these Canadians?"
"Don't worry, I'll balance it out," said God. "Wait 'till you see the neighbours I'm giving them."
"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to these Canadians?"
"Don't worry, I'll balance it out," said God. "Wait 'till you see the neighbours I'm giving them."
ifiddles
Well-known member
A lawyer and an Italian are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Italians are slow thinkers and easy to fool...so, the lawyer asks if the Italian would like to play a fun game.
The Italian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. ‘I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500,’ he says. This catches the Italian’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Italian doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Italian's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the internet. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes up the Italian and hands him $500. The Italian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Italian up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Italian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
The Italian is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the game is a lot of fun. ‘I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500,’ he says. This catches the Italian’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Italian doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Italian's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the internet. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes up the Italian and hands him $500. The Italian pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Italian up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'
The Italian reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
sound check | Motocross4life | Motocross4life · Original audio
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