Is it necessary to be mean to succeed at work?

[Mad Mike]

Lolol! Ya ok, if I worked with you and if any of your posts in this thread are a demostration of your management style, or even your personality at work, I would tell you the F-off within the first week. Seriously you are a joke.

I’d do a sit down, find out what you really want to do then figure out if there is a role for you. If you are talented, I’d make some accommodations that would give you space to do what I needed you to do - help you focus on your duties. If that works, peace! If it doesn’t because your not able to focus on your stuff... I’ll ask you for your office keys.

 

[sburns]

I’d do a sit down, find out what you really want to do then figure out if there is a role for you. If you are talented, I’d make some accommodations that would give you space to do what I needed you to do - help you focus on your duties. If that works, peace! If it doesn’t because your not able to focus on your stuff... I’ll ask you for your office keys.

Would this happen before things got escalated or after?

My response was calling out someone on their BS, I would have no trouble walking away from a place which is toxic and has disrespectful employee's who just want to make other people's live's miserable.

 

[Mad Mike]

Would this happen before things got escalated or after?

My response was calling out someone on their BS, I would have no trouble walking away from a place which is toxic and has disrespectful employee's who just want to make other people's live's miserable.

Before and after.

 

[sburns]

Before and after.

Lol somehow I thought this might be the case. But if you had the kind of response during the before then I wouldn't have made my response like that at all , which is kinda the point of this thread I guess.

 

[nobbie48]

Would this happen before things got escalated or after?

My response was calling out someone on their BS, I would have no trouble walking away from a place which is toxic and has disrespectful employee's who just want to make other people's live's miserable.

The faster the better.

I once had to wait in the reception area of a fortune 500 company while the management sorted out a production issue. I could hear them screaming at each other through the wall. If someone said no to a superior the volume went up.

 

[JZ67]

No need to be rude or disrespectful. You can be diplomatically tactful and still achieve common goals. Key word is 'common'. The corporation I work for has many locations and each location has there own dynamic. Some more toxic than others. Same ownership and same ethos but this doesn't seem to matter. I just try to rise above.

 

[JZ67]

No need to be rude or disrespectful. You can be diplomatically tactful and still achieve common goals. Key word is 'common'. The corporation I work for has many locations and each location has there own dynamic. Some more toxic than others. Same ownership and same ethos but this doesn't seem to matter. I just try to rise above.

I just spent 20 minutes talking someone off a ledge over a ******* trailer. This could have been done so much more pleasantly. It's a trailer, not life saving plasma. I hate to say it but people don't realize what is truly important until something horrible happens.

 

[nobbie48]

Interesting first few minutes. I didn't watch the whole thing.

 

[Mina]

Interesting first few minutes. I didn't watch the whole thing.

That was so incredibly reassuring, it's unreal. I recently started my own business and when I was looking for someone to work with me, my biggest criteria was trust and how they are as natural human beings.

You can always teach someone how to perform better, but mannerisms, respect, and trust are rare these days.

 

[Lightcycle]

Interesting first few minutes. I didn't watch the whole thing.

My last boss was my favorite manager, walked the fine-line between being fair but firm-handed, perfect balance between appeasing upper management and having his employees backs.

I tried to squeeze as much knowledge and information out of him, directly and indirectly.

One of the gems I gleaned from him was that 80% of good management is done during the hiring process. The interview process is *NOT* about assessing a person's skills at how well they will be able to do their job, but the kind of human being they are outside of the job.

Hire a trustworthy person and they will be easy to manage. Skills can be learned eventually.

You see it all the time, where a lot of smart people IQ-wise come with terrible personality traits: narcissistic, abrasive, poor social skills, and an overly-high self-opinion of their actual skills. These types of people are terrible to manage and create more of a drag on the organization than the person with lesser aptitude, but greater attitude.

 

[Superveloce]

My last boss was my favorite manager, walked the fine-line between being fair but firm-handed, perfect balance between appeasing upper management and having his employees backs.

I tried to squeeze as much knowledge and information out of him, directly and indirectly.

One of the gems I gleaned from him was that 80% of good management is done during the hiring process. The interview process is *NOT* about assessing a person's skills at how well they will be able to do their job, but the kind of human being they are outside of the job.

Hire a trustworthy person and they will be easy to manage. Skills can be learned eventually.

You see it all the time, where a lot of smart people IQ-wise come with terrible personality traits: narcissistic, abrasive, poor social skills, and an overly-high self-opinion of their actual skills. These types of people are terrible to manage and create more of a drag on the organization than the person with lesser aptitude, but greater attitude.

True...attitude is way more important than a resume in many many ways

 

[Evoex]

Not in management.

Anyone who wants to be abrasive or 'mean' would eventually get it back in kind from me, boss or not. I have very little patience for attitude.

When i fuckup, i'll tell you, when your plan has a flaw i'll tell you and when someone is slacking on the team i'll dig in and carry more of the water without a peep so we can just get onto the next project.

There's a colleague who is super intelligent, always has his ducks in a row, always has his i dotted and t's crossed, i would love working on his content except for one thing; he's a complete *******. In meetings he has to remind everyone in the room that he's likely the smartest person there, when you ask him a follow up question because perhaps something he presented didn't make sense or you need clarification he will spend 10+ emails telling you to check the notes and ask why you don't already know this instead of just responding once with the information you asked for. It's unnecessary and I've had it out with him publicly once years back in front of his peers over something related. He didn't talk to me for 6 months.

Was a good 6 months..

 

[regder]

There is a difference between being mean and assertive. Some people are just plain bitchy, this trait can apply to people in all positions and does not predispose them to success and promotions. Being assertive is a valuable trait and has been been ingrained in all leaders I have respected and tried to learn from. You don't have to be a dick to be assertive, but firm and clear leadership will drive success for all involved.

 

[Superveloce]

Not in management.

Anyone who wants to be abrasive or 'mean' would eventually get it back in kind from me, boss or not. I have very little patience for attitude.

When i fuckup, i'll tell you, when your plan has a flaw i'll tell you and when someone is slacking on the team i'll dig in and carry more of the water without a peep so we can just get onto the next project.

There's a colleague who is super intelligent, always has his ducks in a row, always has his i dotted and t's crossed, i would love working on his content except for one thing; he's a complete *******. In meetings he has to remind everyone in the room that he's likely the smartest person there, when you ask him a follow up question because perhaps something he presented didn't make sense or you need clarification he will spend 10+ emails telling you to check the notes and ask why you don't already know this instead of just responding once with the information you asked for. It's unnecessary and I've had it out with him publicly once years back in front of his peers over something related. He didn't talk to me for 6 months.

Was a good 6 months..

If you are replying to me ....I meant a good attitude not attitude like being a dick

 

[Evoex]

If you are replying to me ....I meant a good attitude not attitude like being a dick

nope, general statement for the thread.

i'll quote you if i respond.

 

[油井緋色]

So.....after a few months, I figured I should update this.

The answer I found was yes. It doesn't matter which job, because I've seen this at all jobs. There is an average level of conscientiousness, meaning the desire to do work to the best of one's ability, and it is far below mine; as someone who literally flunked out of school twice, I still have a hard time believing this. The guys who were originally yelling at me actually have very high levels of conscientiousness along with intelligence; they've also been very receptive when I objectively told them they're ******* retarded and wrong (literally how I phrased it.)

As I became more and more competent, the same problem I've noticed from university/college and every job is back: the average person just doesn't care as much or doesn't want to think for themselves when leadership is lacking. This leads to cascading effects like technical debt, which results in ****** user experience, which results in a loss of sales or stakeholders, which leads to **** like a exec or manager getting angry and everyone needing to overtime which means more technical debt.

The above is ******* painful and totally unnecessary if the average person wasn't going for a car wash, taking care of their kids, or xyz during workhours instead of doing work.

So for anyone else that reads this with enough self awareness to know they have extremely strong leadership skills but aren't sure of where the line between being an ******* is: go closer to an ******* than not. Chances are you're too damn nice and people will shut up and listen when you let them know they're stupid af because of xyz. Everyone does a better job as a result, and for some reason people end up respecting/liking you more. Go figure.

 

[Deleted member 50930]

My new job,,

I just act like a super introverted Asian (Chinese) 99.9% of the time at this new job. And i got really fat so people can’t help but giggle at my stupidity

I like this approach to work, it is more fun...
And then someone keyed my car ..

 

[油井緋色]

My new job,,

I just act like a super introverted Asian (Chinese) 99.9% of the time at this new job. And i got really fat so people can’t help but giggle at my stupidity

I like this approach to work, it is more fun...
And then someone keyed my car ..

Wait...you serious man? =/

 

[Deleted member 50930]

Wait...you serious man? =/

Yes... PpF rear bumper again, sensor programming, and blending + painting

I think I got targeted because there are AMG, M series, Teslas etc but they chose me...

Of course, parking said they cant do anything..

 

[油井緋色]

Yes... PpF rear bumper again, sensor programming, and blending + painting

I think I got targeted because there are AMG, M series, Teslas etc but they chose me...

Of course, parking said they cant do anything..

What do you mean by introverted Asian though? You mean hyper-agreeable as well?