Have attitudes changed? You tell me.
The other day I was making a left at an uncontrolled intersection and an old guy in a clean Cavalier stops in his lane to let me by. This is the way things used to be done, but today, he's doing everyone a disservice by trying to help out one guy. I didn't proceed in front of him because there was no one in front of him, he could have just kept driving! He stopped traffic behind him when I could just as easily have waited for the oncoming cars to clear, or to come to a stop, as I was in a left turn lane so I wasn't blocking anybody.
He just sat there for a while looking confused and then eventually moseyed on down the road again. Basically, there was no reason for the old man to inconvenience everyone else for my sake, that's not courtesy in my books.
Or when it comes to offering my seat on the TTC. I have yet to see anyone in such bad shape that I was concerned for their health if they kept standing. Sure, there are plenty of old people and some with disabilities, but who am I to judge them as being unfit to remain standing? I will gladly give my seat to anybody who asks, but if it's too much trouble to ask then obviously they can stand. Besides, I could offend someone by offering my seat. "I'm not THAT old", or "I'm not pregnant you git!", or "just because I walk with a cane doesn't mean I need anybody's help". Anyways, people really need to talk to each other more, and my approach to seat giving would encourage that.
People are so scared to talk to each other, I've had situations where I'm stuck behind some guy in an aisle because he doesn't have the guts to ask the person in front to make way. Is he trying to be polite by remaining quiet? I don't get it.
People often complain about drivers being too aggressive, but if we always maintained a two second gap then congestion would be 3x worse than it is now. On the other hand, if we could all drive bumper-to-bumper at 120 like stock car drivers then rush hour would no longer exist. Of course, neither one of those extremes is a realistic scenario, so people drive with as little space between cars as they feel is safe, but no so much that they go backwards in traffic. To rural dwellers it might seem like city folk are aggressive drivers, but it's just a question of efficiency. The reality is, that we are all a product of our environments. WHat works in the city doesn't work in the country, and vice-versa, and people behave differently accordingly.
Another example is holding a door open for another. I do this, but within reason. I won't stop my stride to hold the door open. I've tried this for fun a few times and what usually happens is the flow of people just keeps going and I get seperated from the group I was with, as I stand there bemusedly watching people shuffle in and out for a minute or two with a nod or a thanks (see, people are stil polite!). So I "pass" the open door to the next guy as we both walk through and that's as helpful as I expect anyone else to be in the city.
It bears repeating; we are all products of our environment.
For those country folk who look down on the "rude" or "aggressive" Torontonians, just keep in mind you are no better or worse than us. You're not "slow" or "stupid" as city folk tend to think, you have only been exposed to a different environment and have adapted accordingly. City life requires a different set of adaptations. Same thing applies over time. Are attitudes have changed because the times have changed, the situations we are exposed to are not what they used to be so we have adapted.
The one thing that probably guides us as a more or less constant over changing times, is that we continue to treat people the way we would like to be treated. So I don't proceed in front of a guy who has stopped traffic for me, and I don't offer my seat to anyone unless they look desperate. That's the way I would like to be treated.
