Has the city lost it's mind...

[backmarkerducati]

A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.

 

[GreyGhost]

A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.

Maybe she didn't understand english?

The whole situation is tough. I will help people in need but I am not interested in being stabbed/shot by a dirtbag in fight or flight mode. Given time to look back, I probably would have called the cops and reported the assault. They get paid to deal with dirtbags and have some protection. Maybe she would be gone by the time they arrive, maybe there's a tim hortons around the corner and they show up quickly. I may or may not have made the same decision in the heat of the moment though.

EDIT:
On that note, given Toronto's recent 911 delays, I wonder if shooting them a text with info (and ideally a picture) would get the call into the system faster?

 

[backmarkerducati]

Maybe she didn't understand english?

The whole situation is tough. I will help people in need but I am not interested in being stabbed/shot by a dirtbag in fight or flight mode. Given time to look back, I probably would have called the cops and reported the assault. They get paid to deal with dirtbags and have some protection. Maybe she would be gone by the time they arrive, maybe there's a tim hortons around the corner and they show up quickly. I may or may not have made the same decision in the heat of the moment though.

EDIT:
On that note, given Toronto's recent 911 delays, I wonder if shooting them a text with info (and ideally a picture) would get the call into the system faster?

It is possible but he was speaking to her in English and she did not even acknowledge I was even there one way or another.

 

[Wingboy]

Domestic disputes can turn very violent, very quickly. Cops.

 

[Soulcatcher668]

It is possible but he was speaking to her in English and she did not even acknowledge I was even there one way or another.

50/50 she turns on you as well. Now you have two loonies coming at you.

 

[sburns]

She could have been in some kind of shock, or panicking, or on drugs. Talking to them was fine enough and getting their attention maybe to snap out of it, but calling the cops would have been better. At least you gave it a thought, and tried, unlike the people you mentioned standing around doing nothing.

 

[nobbie48]

A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.

Domestic dispute have so many ways of going sideways it's impossible to pick a path. If you get involved beyond what you did you could be injured or sued. The police have coverage for those possibilities. You don't. Battered woman syndrome is a crapshoot on results. Even if you were bigger than the other guy, a knife changes everything.