Has the city lost it's mind...

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A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.
 
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backmarkerducati said:
A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.
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Maybe she didn't understand english?

The whole situation is tough. I will help people in need but I am not interested in being stabbed/shot by a dirtbag in fight or flight mode. Given time to look back, I probably would have called the cops and reported the assault. They get paid to deal with dirtbags and have some protection. Maybe she would be gone by the time they arrive, maybe there's a tim hortons around the corner and they show up quickly. I may or may not have made the same decision in the heat of the moment though.

EDIT:
On that note, given Toronto's recent 911 delays, I wonder if shooting them a text with info (and ideally a picture) would get the call into the system faster?
 
GreyGhost said:
Maybe she didn't understand english?

The whole situation is tough. I will help people in need but I am not interested in being stabbed/shot by a dirtbag in fight or flight mode. Given time to look back, I probably would have called the cops and reported the assault. They get paid to deal with dirtbags and have some protection. Maybe she would be gone by the time they arrive, maybe there's a tim hortons around the corner and they show up quickly. I may or may not have made the same decision in the heat of the moment though.

EDIT:
On that note, given Toronto's recent 911 delays, I wonder if shooting them a text with info (and ideally a picture) would get the call into the system faster?
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It is possible but he was speaking to her in English and she did not even acknowledge I was even there one way or another.
 
She could have been in some kind of shock, or panicking, or on drugs. Talking to them was fine enough and getting their attention maybe to snap out of it, but calling the cops would have been better. At least you gave it a thought, and tried, unlike the people you mentioned standing around doing nothing.
 
backmarkerducati said:
A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.
Click to expand...
Domestic dispute have so many ways of going sideways it's impossible to pick a path. If you get involved beyond what you did you could be injured or sued. The police have coverage for those possibilities. You don't. Battered woman syndrome is a crapshoot on results. Even if you were bigger than the other guy, a knife changes everything.
 
Toronto city councillors are angling for a 24% pay raise. They had a working group and external consultants to determine how they should be compensated. The target was 75% percentile of comparable municpalities. Wtaf. You are competing for job applicants from other municipalities? When every muncipality targets higher than fiftieth percentile, the number grows exceedingly quickly and they all get to argue that it wasn't their choice, they were just trying to be fair. Part of their argument is they've only gotten cost of living increases since 2006. What is different about the job now? Do they do more work? Are they more efficient? Have they cut costs? There is less than zero justification to pay the same group of losers more money. By any objective measure, they should be paid substantially less as they keep getting more useless and obstructionist as time goes on.

They want comp at $170K. F those guys. Fire them all. Give councillors a 30K stipend and get out the professional losers that are in it for number one and do not care about the constituents.

www.cp24.com

‘A bit steep:’ Mayor takes issue with proposed 24 per cent pay hike for city councillors

Mayor Olivia Chow says a recommendation to bump up the salaries of Toronto city councillors by 24 per cent is “a bit steep” despite a recent report that shows that their counterparts in other jurisdictions make more money.
www.cp24.com www.cp24.com
 
GreyGhost said:
Toronto city councillors are angling for a 24% pay raise. They had a working group and external consultants to determine how they should be compensated. The target was 75% percentile of comparable municpalities. Wtaf. You are competing for job applicants from other municipalities? When every muncipality targets higher than fiftieth percentile, the number grows exceedingly quickly and they all get to argue that it wasn't their choice, they were just trying to be fair. Part of their argument is they've only gotten cost of living increases since 2006. What is different about the job now? Do they do more work? Are they more efficient? Have they cut costs? There is less than zero justification to pay the same group of losers more money. By any objective measure, they should be paid substantially less as they keep getting more useless and obstructionist as time goes on.

They want comp at $170K. F those guys. Fire them all. Give councillors a 30K stipend and get out the professional losers that are in it for number one and do not care about the constituents.

www.cp24.com

‘A bit steep:’ Mayor takes issue with proposed 24 per cent pay hike for city councillors

Mayor Olivia Chow says a recommendation to bump up the salaries of Toronto city councillors by 24 per cent is “a bit steep” despite a recent report that shows that their counterparts in other jurisdictions make more money.
www.cp24.com www.cp24.com
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I wonder how much we paid Korn Ferry to come up with this number. Bet it wasn't cheap.

Never mind.... it was $150,000.00

Korn.jpg
 
backmarkerducati said:
A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.
Click to expand...
Don't sweat it. You did more than most and by all accounts were at some risk doing it. We need more like you. If we meet up your first beer's on me.
 
backmarkerducati said:
A what would you do... sort of bugging me now. TL.DR, partner assault, women did not want help from me, so I left.

A few days ago outside the LCBO (I was in the car on my way in when it happened) I see a guy shove a women to the ground (hard), they appeared to be "together" and arguing beforehand. Other people (including multiple "men") were around and the store was busy, no one does anything, I know many saw it as they continued to watch slackjawed at a distance. At this point she sitting on the ground and he is standing over her. She is now just sitting on the ground looking at her phone.

So I walk over and politely ask "is everything is OK" looking at both of them, the guy gets agitated and confrontational, I just then calmly say to him directly "I can't ask people if they are OK". She refuses to respond to me. I end up staring him down (pretty sure I would lose to him in a fight BTW) until he walks about a block away. I ask her again (she is still sitting on the ground just looking at her phone), "are you OK" no response or even acknowledgement I was there. At this point I figure he has left and not my circus not my monkeys and I head into the store.

When I come out of the store he is back, she is still sitting on the ground, just looking at her phone. I hit him with more stinkeye as I walk by, he backs down the street a bit but that was the end of my participation.

What is bugging me, should I have done more (and what) even though she didn't want my help? If she asked for my help in any manner I would have done more and I fully understand what was going on. She did not appear to be injured. I was not interested in a fight nor calling the police and getting all tied up in it....
***
PS, I was/am 99.9% sure this was not a random assault or robbery attempt.
Click to expand...
In my younger days I'd have intrusively stepped in. Today I'd only do that if there was a threat of violence.

I might have taken a couple of pics and call/txt 911. Popo get there quick, they are equipped to handle those situations.

You did the right thing. If we ever meet, your second beer is on me.
 
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