It's not just harmonics that come into play here.If the load on the two phases is not balanced the load on the neutral could concievably be the same as any two phases.I can gaurantee you that any electrical engineer or proffessional electrician doing a service on his own house would not use a derated or undersized neutral to save a few bucks. The only time I've seen a derated neutral used in a house is if there is an electric furnace where the bulk of the load on the main service is at 240 volts and the load is inherently balanced between the two phases.
Did the undersized neutral rule just change again?
Last I read it was allowed for residential service, but I last looked into it in 2010. What is the latest up-to-date info on this (not what someone has been doing for X years but what is the code/rule today)? While I agree with harmonics etc. the logic goes beyond this in that most large load devices in the home come off of the two "sides" of the panel and do not put much load on the neutral (stove, dryer, central air, electric heat, etc.).