Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loaded gun ... and wins.
 
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
 
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
 
chuck norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the **** out of it

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience
 
Chuck Norris counted to infinity and then devided it by zero

Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman by just looking at her, Jesus Christ is proof of that
 
Chuck Norris can unban Yetti
 
Chuck Norris' key board has no control key. BECAUSE CHUCK IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL.
 
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^LOL

Chuck norris never needs a flash light, he just stares into the darkness and it moves out of the way

Chuck Norris was in Star Wars... he was the force
 
Clint Eastwood, because God wants Chuck Norris to have nightmares.
 
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