bullying? i dont get it

[suzuki2000]

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That's assuming the bullying doesn't get physical, of course. If it does, then no amount of self-esteem is gonna fix black eyes and busted noses any quicker.

Hence why I said "this kind of bullying"....meaning attacks on facebook. I agree that the physical stuff is a different story.

Would be interested in knowing if there are stats on how many "bullying" incidents are considered physical. I think most agressors choose physcological attacks more often now, certainly with girls. Watching my daughter go through early teen years and through high school was an enlightening experience have not grown up with a sister in my household.

 

[RockerGuy]

I was bullied/picked on in school because, at the time, I was one of the smaller guys. Growing up in the North, you learn that you need to take matters in your own hands so I did what people least expected; I straight out cold cocked anyone who bothered me. I have to laugh looking back on it because it never got me anything more than a warning from the principal. The bullying, BTW, pretty much stopped.

Now that I have kids, I get a front row seat to how school boards say one thing to but choose to do everything to sweep things under the rug. At my older son's school, there's one "posse" who's parents are either teachers or employees for the school board. They, for a few years, were bullying a bunch of kids in my son's class (including my son a bit, at first). The school chose to do nothing because of the parents of the bully's. The same kids started picking on my son who stood up for himself by pushing back. My son got a warning and I was asked to call the principal (or the vp, can't remember). Ooooo, the principle! Not the principal!

So I had a nice conversation with her trying to keep my anger and disdain to a minimum. I told her of the other kids being bullied by the same group, including one girl who broke down in front of my wife when talking about it (apparently, it was brutal). I told her that nothing had been done about it for years and she was directly responsible. I kid you not, I told her that I was proud of my son for standing up to the group of bullies and told her that, not only was I not going to discipline my son for his infraction, he had my full approval to knock every single one of them on their arses using whatever means necessary. She (the VP or principal) had a choice: either stop the bullying now or wait for a dust up that was sure to come. She chose the former. My son told me that when asked for those bullied to come forward, more than half the class did and many of them were crying. Pretty sad.

What do I think should be done about bullying in general? I don't think you can legislate any meaning change. None of it will be taken seriously. The people being bullied need to express their dissatisfaction verbally to the appropriate people then, if change isn't affected, perhaps take things to a physical level. The person bullying won't change if all they have to say are some words that sound like an apology, they'll walk out and keep on doing their thing.

U pretty much summed up my personal experience. Bullying is treated as child's play and often ignored.

Of all the shootings in schools in the US, almost 90% would be from bullying. They never asked what would drive a man to shoot so many ppl including himself. They just simply blamed the gun

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[cbcanada]

OMG seriously!

I saw her video. Am I the only one who thought that her suicide was really an issue of her not being able to cope with her depression?? Sure the initial bullying may have been a triggering or aggravating event for her depression but I think this massive bullying campaign kind of misses the mark. IMO her story should really inspire a campaign for awareness about depression.

agreed,,

 

[cbcanada]

I moved to Canada from Poland when I was 10 and didn't speak a word of english. I started mid-grade 4. I was a tall but super skinny kid and I was smarter and way better at math than any of the other kids my age. As a result, I was labeled as a skinny nerd (even though I never studied) and got my *** kicked regularly. I remember one birthday around grade 6 or so when I was literally scared to go outside during lunch because I remembered around 10 guys were planning on beating the crap out of me to give me my "birthday beats". Of course the teachers forced me to go outside and I literally had to run away while a mob of about 10 guys was chasing me. Of course, they eventually caught up to me and I had the whole group pounding on me while I was curled up in a fetal position. One of the kids doing the beating had the exact same birthday as me BTW.

Anyways, my English eventually got better and I made more and more friends. I was NEVER one of the "cool kids" at school but I survived. When I got to about 16 years old I decided I didn't wanna be the weakling anymore so I started hitting the gym. By the end of High School I was one of the strongest kids at my school and didn't get picked on any more. Now 10+ years later I still hit the gym regularly, look better than practically any of those guys that bullied me in the past, make more money than most of them with my Comp.Science degree (which I practically coasted through......I've never studied hard), etc. In other words, my life is pretty damn good right now. I used all that negative energy and anger to better myself instead of crying over myself and contemplating suicide. Would I be where I am today if I didn't get bullied? I honestly don't know. I'm kinda glad it happened in a way.

now thats what i am talking about... it makes many of us better.. simply put "it's life"

 

[FiReSTaRT]

now thats what i am talking about... it makes many of us better.. simply put "it's life"

********. It's parents and schools not doing their jobs. I wouldn't wish on anyone what I had to go through dealing with those ********. If there was ever an argument for creating one central institution where you lock all of them up so they can prey on each other, this is it.

 

[Macs]

Would be interested in knowing if there are stats on how many "bullying" incidents are considered physical. I think most agressors choose physcological attacks more often now, certainly with girls. Watching my daughter go through early teen years and through high school was an enlightening experience have not grown up with a sister in my household.

I find girls are the ones who get physical much more often because of the overwhelming idea that girls are nonviolent. My gf got her *** kicked more times than I can even remember in High School and refused to fight back until we'd been dating for a year and I drilled some sense into her head.

With me the guys would just talk a LOT of smack and try to make me hit them, but I would just chirp them back worse with the same goal in mind.

Girls are downright cruel and vicious. I've never been told "kill yourself", she got that several times daily.

 

[DownUnder]

'If you don't use Facebook, you're nobody'

http://www.voices-of-the-world.org/community/if-you-don-t-use-facebook-you-re-nobody/

Oh crap, im a no body.... woe is me Ive never seen the point of facebook/myspace etc etc. Friends that I want in my life are IN my life not on my computer.

It blows my mind that people let things get to them so much. I think everyone is wound up to tight these days and things that would be considered minor 10-15-20 years ago send people over the edge now.

 

[BusaBob]

here's some information on the Amanda Todd story. Her mother gives much more background information, information that people would do well to keep in mind before making premature judgement calls.
http://blogs.vancouversun.com/2012/10/12/amandas-story-in-her-mothers-words/

as she reveals, the underlying issue was that this girl was being stalked and harassed by a pedophile who was making it his mission to destroy her because she wouldn't give into his exploitative demands. Every new school she went to, he found out and distributed her topless photos and videos to the students there, who in turn would make fun of her. She would become ostracized by the students there. This went on for almost 2 years. How does at 13 to 15 year old girl NOT get depressed about something like that??

How do you fight back against an internet pedophile who is stalking and harassing you?

I don't know if the story is real, but Anonymous says they tracked down the pedophile.

Stories like this, and the callousness of some people in response to them truly sickens me.

 

[PSY]

here's some information on the Amanda Todd story. Her mother gives much more background information, information that people would do well to keep in mind before making premature judgement calls.
http://blogs.vancouversun.com/2012/10/12/amandas-story-in-her-mothers-words/

as she reveals, the underlying issue was that this girl was being stalked and harassed by a pedophile who was making it his mission to destroy her because she wouldn't give into his exploitative demands. Every new school she went to, he found out and distributed her topless photos and videos to the students there, who in turn would make fun of her. She would become ostracized by the students there. This went on for almost 2 years. How does at 13 to 15 year old girl NOT get depressed about something like that??

How do you fight back against an internet pedophile who is stalking and harassing you?

I don't know if the story is real, but Anonymous says they tracked down the pedophile.

Stories like this, and the callousness of some people in response to them truly sickens me.

Phew, I feel better knowing the Cops have more pressing matters to spend resources on.



BUT then again they are busy sexually harassing their own women.

 

[RockerGuy]

here's some information on the Amanda Todd story. Her mother gives much more background information, information that people would do well to keep in mind before making premature judgement calls.
http://blogs.vancouversun.com/2012/10/12/amandas-story-in-her-mothers-words/

as she reveals, the underlying issue was that this girl was being stalked and harassed by a pedophile who was making it his mission to destroy her because she wouldn't give into his exploitative demands. Every new school she went to, he found out and distributed her topless photos and videos to the students there, who in turn would make fun of her. She would become ostracized by the students there. This went on for almost 2 years. How does at 13 to 15 year old girl NOT get depressed about something like that??

How do you fight back against an internet pedophile who is stalking and harassing you?

I don't know if the story is real, but Anonymous says they tracked down the pedophile.

Stories like this, and the callousness of some people in response to them truly sickens me.

I would say that was her parents' fault. I read an article last night and the police had shown up to her home. She even changed school multiple times. U mean your kid is going thru all this and u havent noticed anything in the behaviour of your child?? Their brain must be out to lunch

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[estone]

********. It's parents and schools not doing their jobs. I wouldn't wish on anyone what I had to go through dealing with those ********. If there was ever an argument for creating one central institution where you lock all of them up so they can prey on each other, this is it.

It really sucks you had to go through the crap you did. This is NOT a new problem. Like stated numerous times, it's an age old problem.

I personally blame the proliferation of the internet/information - it's just that much more visible. Do you think cops didn't lay the smack down inappropriately in the past?? It's just more publicized now because of the internet, camera phones, facebook etc.

Same with bullying. Media hot point, the instances of it reported more on the news. Facebook giving yet another avenue for kids to bully others. Is it right for the state to step in? No. Just means more work for parents.

Track record of most parents is pretty bad to say the least. Don't expect this to get better.

 

[nobbie48]

Track record of most parents is pretty bad to say the least. Don't expect this to get better.

Although parents want to get more involved almost everyone is on the consumer band wagon. Work to buy the kids stuff out of guilt etc. (Background music "The cat's in the cradle") The answer is simple, stop working so hard. Then of course the economy (What's left of it) will collapse because of reduced spending and the world will end.
If we can just get around the next corner we'll be OK. Guess what? Around the next corner is another corner.

 

[homme de fer]

While bullying is an age old problem, the manner of bullying has changed such that there is no getting away from it. (Warning, I'm about to sound like my Dad).

When I was in school, the bullying pretty much stayed on the school grounds. If you were being bullied, you did your best to turn your cheek to it but, at some point, if it got bad enough, you'd plan retaliation and pick your spot (especially when up against groups or a bigger guy). Then, you'd strike hard and fast, go to the principal's office, and everyone would agree that the incident would never had happened without the bullying. The bullying would stop, and life goes on.

Watching the stuff at my son's school, I'd say it's become much more psychological and therefore much more difficult to patrol. I get how we all want to jump on the teachers but how do you police something that doesn't leave a physical mark? And as a parent, your first instinct is to defend your child no matter what, regardless whether your child is the bullied or the bully. Also, how do you police something that starts on the playground but extends into someone's "safe place" at home? With the internet, no one is safe from harassement. The garbage that comes out of some of these kids mouths is almost impossible to believe. I'm glad I don't have daughters because the scorn heaped on them is 10 times worse than whatever beating I got. The girls at my son's school are being harassed for being fat, at the age of 11. WTF?! Crazy stuff.

 

[Jatt]

when i arrived in canada . i was made fun of cuz i dressed different and couldnt speak english. every recess i get into a fight. i dealt with it. later on in higher grades everyone picked on everyone... fat kids, ugly kids, sluts, handicaps, asians, blacks, pakis, etc etc. no one was safe. everyone got drilled.

it was a part of growing up, it built character. and it made you ready for the real word which is much tougher then "bullying" in school.

we would watch motley crue videos ride our bmx with no helmets, shoot each other with bb guns, play king of the mountain on icy hills and break our noses and play hockey with no helmets. as 13 year olds when we stepped on to the school yard hockey rink the older kids would shoot at us for 5 minutes.

we made it , we lived..we look back now we laugh, once in a while you run into some ome who picked on you way back.. you either have a few beers with him or you punch him out or you do both...

so whats with all the kids now complaining about "bullying", what is bullying? is it a confession of you being a pansy? why cant they take it? why do they complain? are they expecting they go thru the whole schooling system without being ridiculed?

i am not judging, if some one is sad , depressed and they cant cope then such is the case and thats not cool... but why is it the case? why cant they cope? are we raising kids as soft as pillows?

If you were bullied at school, yah you could deal with it at recess the way a lot of us did, but when you went home, you were home, bullying stayed at school, the hockey rink, playgrounds etc., makes you feel old but I can't relate to kids today that have to deal with online bullying. Not sure if you would have a different view if you could literally NEVER escape the bullying if you were dealing with it 24/7 at school, and at home due to our networked community now.

 

[rafiki911]

While bullying is an age old problem, the manner of bullying has changed such that there is no getting away from it. (Warning, I'm about to sound like my Dad).

When I was in school, the bullying pretty much stayed on the school grounds. If you were being bullied, you did your best to turn your cheek to it but, at some point, if it got bad enough, you'd plan retaliation and pick your spot (especially when up against groups or a bigger guy). Then, you'd strike hard and fast, go to the principal's office, and everyone would agree that the incident would never had happened without the bullying. The bullying would stop, and life goes on.

Watching the stuff at my son's school, I'd say it's become much more psychological and therefore much more difficult to patrol. I get how we all want to jump on the teachers but how do you police something that doesn't leave a physical mark? And as a parent, your first instinct is to defend your child no matter what, regardless whether your child is the bullied or the bully. Also, how do you police something that starts on the playground but extends into someone's "safe place" at home? With the internet, no one is safe from harassement. The garbage that comes out of some of these kids mouths is almost impossible to believe. I'm glad I don't have daughters because the scorn heaped on them is 10 times worse than whatever beating I got. The girls at my son's school are being harassed for being fat, at the age of 11. WTF?! Crazy stuff.

That was going on back in the day when I was in school.

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