bullying? i dont get it

cbcanada

cbcanada

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when i arrived in canada . i was made fun of cuz i dressed different and couldnt speak english. every recess i get into a fight. i dealt with it. later on in higher grades everyone picked on everyone... fat kids, ugly kids, sluts, handicaps, asians, blacks, pakis, etc etc. no one was safe. everyone got drilled.

it was a part of growing up, it built character. and it made you ready for the real word which is much tougher then "bullying" in school.

we would watch motley crue videos ride our bmx with no helmets, shoot each other with bb guns, play king of the mountain on icy hills and break our noses and play hockey with no helmets. as 13 year olds when we stepped on to the school yard hockey rink the older kids would shoot at us for 5 minutes.

we made it , we lived..we look back now we laugh, once in a while you run into some ome who picked on you way back.. you either have a few beers with him or you punch him out or you do both...

so whats with all the kids now complaining about "bullying", what is bullying? is it a confession of you being a pansy? why cant they take it? why do they complain? are they expecting they go thru the whole schooling system without being ridiculed?

i am not judging, if some one is sad , depressed and they cant cope then such is the case and thats not cool... but why is it the case? why cant they cope? are we raising kids as soft as pillows?
 
I think that the issue of bullying is really just an issue of sub-par parenting. I was bullied all through private school when I was a kid and then right through high school. I don't think I turned out screwed up because I never took it.

I was always told never to start a fight, but not to be scared to fight back. Had a 14 day suspension for breaking a kid's face in grade 10 when him and 2 others jumped me from behind and no one tried anything after that.

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As far as coping, I think that also boils down to parenting. My parents split before I could talk but I had a great relationship with both of them. My mom (who I lived with) was always tough as nails (guyanese kids can relate) and my dad was always relatively laid back but also wasn't afraid to knock some sense into me.

On the other hand you have friends of mine who had both parents but their parents either couldn't care less or were so overprotective their kids were completely out of tune with reality and social interaction that they couldn't handle any sort of negativity being put in their direction.
 
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The problem is that you and I aren't the same. We aren't the same as others around us. Not all of us take it the same way as you did etc... Bullying can be emotionally scar'ng and can haunt some for the rest of their lives.

I too was picked on when I was a new kid in the country. I was different and an easy target. I was alone for a while until I adapted, but I hate bullying now. It was painful and I react differently to it now. I don't take BS from anyone and I'm careful to not join mob mentality and become a bully. I saw it happen in my old work place... employees didn't like the manager and started to bully him. Called HR on him and he did nothing wrong. I stood up to them and publicly put them in their place in front of HR. My friend on the other hand who is still there is just staying neutral not getting involved. She just watches the show.

The point is we are different and we act/react differently. What works for you doesn't work for me.

Bullying isn't done to just kids, it still exists all around us ... especially in our work place. I fired an employee in february when I found out he was bullying new employees into doing his work and called it training.

As for your question of why they can't cope... we are all different. Some can't and some can. You can't expect someone to deal with it the same as you.

As for the bullied kids, they aren't complaining. They are asking for help. They are being beaten up and tortured psychologically. No one deserves that and anyone that says it's just part of growing up / making their character tough is a moron.
 
I don't get it either. I was never bullied, or bullied upon. My only regret is not helping those who were bullied in school.
 
good points..

so here is another angle on this. i am hearing politicians are proposing laws to stop "bullying". clearly like most things politicians do, this is to gain popularity and serves no real life purpose.

if "bullying" id defined as the natural rough and nasty interraction between kids and adolescents, then is this not a partof nature? by proposing to make this a criminal activity are we not depriving both the the so called bully and the one getting bullied the right to live an unedited natural life?
furtheremore if parents are to blame (which makes sense) then why are the kids having their lives adjusted by laws and regulations..
 
Bullying has been around since the cavemen. The bigger problem is the way it has expanded largely through the anonymity of the Internet. Hard to trace and treat.
 
nobbie48 said:
Bullying has been around since the cavemen. The bigger problem is the way it has expanded largely through the anonymity of the Internet. Hard to trace and treat.
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I think that's a huge part of it, that and the pile-on mentality of the cowards that engage in the activity.
 
I think a lot of people were raised as soft pillows because here on gtam alone, it seems there are quite a few people who can't even take a joke.
 
nobbie48 said:
Bullying has been around since the cavemen. The bigger problem is the way it has expanded largely through the anonymity of the Internet. Hard to trace and treat.
Click to expand...

you are right! internet speeds up everything so i guess the bullying follows suit.

so then the fact its going on the internet is the problem.. okay so here is where i would say "who cares its the internet f$&k it"

but i know that the internet is not the same to me as a 16 year old. so then is it so that the internet has become such a part if their reality that they can handle internet bullying?

side note

i was taking motorcycle mechanics class at centennial and taking a piss and in front of me a huge poster. stop cyber bullying! i was thinking WHAT THE???

so whats next a facebook ban? lol
 
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We have a new generation of bubble wrap parents and kids.
It's very easy to solve. Tell your kid if someone does x to you, you tell them to stop in a firm voice.
If they do y to you, tell the teacher and your parents. If it does not stop and they do z you, get a nice stick and just whack them right across the knees or in the gut then repeat to them, you chose not to listen to the other two warnings, there will no future warnings.

Little boys are like little muffins now. Girls are much stronger now.
I can't wait to see some 16 year old 150lbs boy crying because some 90lb girl bullied him.

Clearly the parents are not listening to their kids or do not know their kids on both sides as bully/victim.
Start suspending kids for 3 days as first offense then have the Police or Social Services slap the parents with a $1000 fine.
I bet you the problem drops off. Yes, I know some kids are treated like crap at home and they are lashing out to share their hurt hoping someone will intervene. We can't solve 100% but I am confident we can get it down to solving 98%.

Parents are selfish and lazy today. They are not involved in their kids schools they do not go on field trips or volunteer. They do not even spend a lunch hour playing (insert game/sport) with the kids outside. Get the lazy parents in the school and watch the problem get solved.
 
cbcanada said:
good points.. then why are the kids having their lives adjusted by laws and regulations..
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The lawmakers are themselves parents. Have you ever tried telling a parent they're doing something wrong as far as their kids are concerned? It never ends pretty. Even when they actually come yo you for an opinion.

klr_guy said:
I think that's a huge part of it, that and the pile-on mentality of the cowards that engage in the activity.
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Very true. Which is why I say nip it in the bud. The second someone lays a hand on you, lay two on them. That shuts everyone up good and quick.

PSY said:
We have a new generation of bubble wrap parents and kids.
It's very easy to solve. Tell your kid if someone does x to you, you tell them to stop in a firm voice.
If they do y to you, tell the teacher and your parents. If it does not stop and they do z you, get a nice stick and just whack them right across the knees or in the gut then repeat to them, you chose not to listen to the other two warnings, there will no future warnings.

Little boys are like little muffins now. Girls are much stronger now.
I can't wait to see some 16 year old 150lbs boy crying because some 90lb girl bullied him.

Clearly the parents are not listening to their kids or do not know their kids on both sides as bully/victim.
Start suspending kids for 3 days as first offense then have the Police or Social Services slap the parents with a $1000 fine.
I bet you the problem drops off. Yes, I know some kids are treated like crap at home and they are lashing out to share their hurt hoping someone will intervene. We can't solve 100% but I am confident we can get it down to solving 98%.

Parents are selfish and lazy today. They are not involved in their kids schools they do not go on field trips or volunteer. They do not even spend a lunch hour playing (insert game/sport) with the kids outside. Get the lazy parents in the school and watch the problem get solved.
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Excellent post. In my case the police were going to pursue charges, but there was so much camera evidence to the contrary they didn't even bother arresting me.

The other problem is teachers don't give a single ****. My situation steadily escalated from day 4 of grade 9 until March of grade 10. I had meetings with guidance counsellors, teachers, VP, the principle, the police, etc. No one did a single thing or put in place a single punishment. It only stopped when I started breaking some bones (in self defence).
 
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Bullying is a serious problem. We don't need new laws to deal with it. We need for parents, teachers and school administration to do something about it. I've been bullied in school and nobody gave a **** about it. One time, the bully got too cocky and called me out to a fight in front of the entire school. After that, next time a person tried to pull something on me, I invited him out and he backed down. Had to rinse and repeat a couple of times before they got the message and went on to bother someone else.

Are you calling a kid a "pansy" for being non-violent? I see pacifism as a positive. If the parents, teachers and school administration did their jobs, hell if just 1 out of those 3 did their ****ing jobs, bullying would not be an issue and peaceful kids wouldn't have to learn how to hurt others or suffer physical/mental trauma.

Those of you saying "just fight back" are forgetting that those cowards are either a lot bigger and/or have numbers on their side. The only way the child can effectively deal with that level of threat would involve weapons, serious injuries and criminal charges for the victim. The only way I avoided criminal charges (as the fight turned out to be pretty one-sided and the police got called in) was by having a paper trail of reports to both school administration and police before the fight.

So what's a kid to do? If he fights back to a level that makes the bullies think twice about attacking him again, he can face criminal charges. Parents are proud of their "tough kids" (cowardly bully ****s) or are bully ****s themselves so they pass on the torch. Schools can't do anything. At worst, they shuffle the bully between schools where they always find some victim to prey on.

Bottom line: Bullying hurts the victims. 20 years later some of those memories still make my blood boil and if I saw any of those people on fire, I wouldn't even piss on'em to put it out. We're just beginning to deal with the problem as a society and I think it's about time.
 
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As in Nature most of the time you get a warning.
For all of you that got bullied YOUR PARENTS kinda failed you.

I was never picked on that I can recall. I think once when I was really young but my mother became aware of it showed up to the school got the Principal and started off by saying "let me tell you something, if anything happens to my kid while they are here and something the the affect like it will be and you. She said you get me that kids phone number or get their parents here because I want to talk to them.

Perhaps knowing and seeing that at a very young age (7 or eight) that my mommy can come off as a "crazy" for a very attractive woman got to people. She spoke with a certain...you don't want to F with me because I will do what I said (see Nature's warning).
Once I knew I had backing at home I was never worried. I stood up for other kids. I remember I used to make crazy threats like touch me or touch them again and I will bash your fuc**** head in with this skateboard. Did I mean it, absolutely. Back then the worse I would get is a day suspension. I think my mother would have beaten me if I did not at least defend myself. As I said, never had any issues that I can recall. You got to be willing to do crazy **** like bring some duct tape and tape the bully to something. Teach your kids to just ram their head right into the bully's face...A good solid jump off the ground and ram him/her good to bloody their nose. I bet you nobody messes with that kid anymore.

You can bake cookies for the bully also, if that is how you want to approach it.

Do what you think is best but do something because in the end it's your kid that will be effected and affected.

Parents need to teach their kids to tell them what they see happening to other kids and approach the school.
In this day and age it's best to send 3 emails to follow up as PROOF that you did speak to the school.
Email 1. Principal 2. Superintendent 3. your local Police.

If you are a parent going through this DO NOT rely on words. The TDSB is great at bullsh****ng. It it is not written it has not been said.

*There are some kids out there that are being treated like trash at home hence the striking out to get someone to help them. Social Services and the Police need to interview the parents in their homes.

Sometimes it's best if the parent shows up with a teacher around or in the office and tell the bully if they need to talk to someone that you are there for them and you will try to help them but for now they can't do things to their classmates. I will be around feel free to just say hi. See how that works, now the bully is likely to guard your kid.
 
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nobbie48 said:
Bullying has been around since the cavemen. The bigger problem is the way it has expanded largely through the anonymity of the Internet. Hard to trace and treat.
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This.

The internet has allowed bullying to flourish in the ugliest of possible ways. The fact that people are STILL posting hateful comments on Amanda Todd's memorial page after her death is an indication of the shittiness of people. When given the convenience and relative anonymity of the internet, people will resort to ugly and cruel behaviour. It's truly sick and disturbing.

PSY said:
For all of you that got bullied YOUR PARENTS kinda failed you.
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IMO, if you are someone who bullies others your parents 'kinda failed you'.

Here's a question (especially for those who are taking a tough-guy approach) - how many of you actually fought back and defended others from bullying? Did you ever go in and defend those physically smaller and weaker than you who couldn't fight back?
 
short stop said:
Here's a question (especially for those who are taking a tough-guy approach) - how many of you actually fought back and defended others from bullying?
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I have a question as well for those people. How do you propose beating up the Internet?
 
short stop said:
Here's a question (especially for those who are taking a tough-guy approach) - how many of you actually fought back and defended others from bullying? Did you ever go in and defend those physically smaller and weaker than you who couldn't fight back?
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Yes. It's why I got bullied in the first place. I had tons of "friends" in grade 9 coming in knowing no one gave me a clean slate as it were. I was huge (over 200lbs even then) and at peak fitness, played a bunch of sports etc. The real friends I made my other "friends" didn't like and that's what kicked off the whole shebang. That's actually generally how it works. If you try to stick up for someone the entire weight of it falls on you instead. It's the mob mentality that someone mentioned above. If it's 10 on 1 and one person says "no" it's still 9 on 2.

imnothing that's the problem. Everyone is so caught up in their social media that it's impossible to police or help anyone. Remember when "Honesty Box" was a big deal? Holy ****. I got rid of Facebook years ago and I've never looked back.
 
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kanabis said:
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OMG seriously!

I saw her video. Am I the only one who thought that her suicide was really an issue of her not being able to cope with her depression?? Sure the initial bullying may have been a triggering or aggravating event for her depression but I think this massive bullying campaign kind of misses the mark. IMO her story should really inspire a campaign for awareness about depression.
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