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Try not to tear up
- Thread starter TK4
- Start date
I don't care what's happening in the world, under no circumstance would I leave my kids for months or years at a time. WW3 breaks out and I buy a sailboat and sail to a remote island and live off coconuts and fish with my kids. If Tom Hanks could do it by himself, I'll at least have company.
ifiddles
Well-known member
@Renboy it's definitely not an easy thing to do...my step son is a US Marine and he's been deployed 3 times already (IIRC)...the last time he was gone for 6 or 9 months (I can't remember 100%), and it does take a toll on the family dynamics (he has a son who is now 6 and gets in trouble a lot at school unfortunately)...
Yeah, there's a reason why those FIFO jobs pay so well, they are compensating you to be away from your family.
Good if you're a young, single guy. But for that demographic, the threat to their paycheques are hookers and $100K pick-up trucks.
I completely understand 18 or 19 year olds that join and have their education covered in the process. Had I given it any thought I may have done it as well back then. But by 25 I'd be the F out of there.
@ifiddles your stepson may have missed a third of his son's life, hell no. I feel guilty when I go away once or twice a year to friends cabins/cottages for a weekend with bringing the minions.
Mad Mike
Well-known member
For the first 10 years of my working career I was on the road 2 weeks then home 1. When my first was born, I raced from Berlin to Toronto getting here 2 hrs before he was born. I carried on for another year then ended that routine.
A year here and there for an adult is nothing. For a kid it's a huge percentage of their life. That lifestyle isn't compatible with raising kids. They need a mom and dad.
I couldn't agree more. I know from experience that moms and dads do things completely different, both being beneficial. An example is my daughter is basically a future Cirque performer, small, strong and very flexible. She was climbing a tree in the front yard last year (she was 6 at the time) and was showing me how high she could go. As a dad my natural response was 'do you think you could reach the next branch?' My wife came out at just that moment and told my daughter to get down because she was going to get hurt. Both different and beneficial.
Exactly. at least have the decency to put the top and windows up. What part of made-up America does he live in where the car hasn't become Rodent Four Seasons sat in a rural barn?
And it looks like a four on the floor to boot.
Sounds exactly like mine.....25yrs ago.
She's still only 4'9", she can still fold in half and is an arborist.
malamute62
Well-known member
This one gets me everytime
Was definitely tough for us. But we made it work with a few fortunate events:
1. MIL moved in with us to help my wife
2. Son was super young so didn't even notice I was gone
Second kid was born and (thankfully) she looked like me...big bonus. But once my son got around 3 he started asking 'daddy why do you have to leave? I don't want you to leave...when are you back?' it pulled at the heartstrings so I pulled the plug.
Now...I can't imagine leaving them. Told my old company "you want me back and work in BC? You're paying me a salary and for my housing"
the response was 'that's reasonable' so we'll see what they come back with lol.
I was working 17-11 so 10 days at home / month...nice to have 2 weekends at home...but def not if your kids are older.
I had one international job that was supposed to be three days morph into three weeks while I was there. Kid was ~one. Wife confirmed that the single parent life was not for her and she wasn't going to be impressed if that happened often. Kid wasn't too concerned that I was missing but happy to have me back. If an interesting/profitable job requires some time away, we can make it work but I don't seek them out.
I had an option to apply for a mine in Mongolia....$1700USD/day...
3 months on site, 1 month home
Wife nixed that idea pretty fast, until I told her we could pay the house off within 2 years. As we thought about it the opportunity disappeared.
Mad Mike
Well-known member
Give her my number just in case she starts snooping around your bike collection.
My buddy took a job in UAE as a radiologist. They make pretty good money anyway in North America, but he made bank over there.
Lasted about a year before the wife got sick of being imprisoned in the compound they were living in. That part of the world is not very female-friendly and having to constantly watch what you wear, say or do got very tedious.
Still, they both made enough money to pay for quite a large chunk of real estate in Toronto and a nice car in the driveway. Not bad for 12 months of being away from friends and family.
Too many people just b!tch, moan and complain about how life sucks here, I'm proud of him for actually doing something about it.
My buddy was bitching and complaining about money, wife not working, blah blah blah...so I told him 'send me your CV and you'll make 170-200k/year'
'oh that's not enough'
'so how much? you make 80k now...200? 250? 300? what's enough to get you here?'
'oh you don't know how hard it is to leave the family'
'uhmmm....wife and kid + 1 on the way back home...'
'oh you have it so much better'
'alright, it's easier to ***** and complain than to actually do something about it. So quit your whining'
'oh that's not enough'
'so how much? you make 80k now...200? 250? 300? what's enough to get you here?'
'oh you don't know how hard it is to leave the family'
'uhmmm....wife and kid + 1 on the way back home...'
'oh you have it so much better'
'alright, it's easier to ***** and complain than to actually do something about it. So quit your whining'
They're called Yabuts.
"Ya, but I have a whole life here that I'd have to leave for a period of time"
"Ya, but they don't pay enough money"
"Ya, but getting all the paperwork in order is a hassle"
"Ya, but..."
"Ya, but..."
Always full of excuses and blaming everyone else.
Whatevs.
It's always easier to complain and blame than it is to take responsibility for the situation you put yourselves in.
It's been over a year and I still lament over missing all that extra $ when I left BC...but spending the time with my kids and watching them grow...you can't buy that time back.
It's been over a year and I still lament over missing all that extra $ when I left BC...but spending the time with my kids and watching them grow...you can't buy that time back.
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