This reminds me of a ticket I defended long ago.
Bailiff: "Mr. Dafee you are charged with violating Bylaw 133
section W chapter 23T paragraph 4 how do you plead?"
(They say it like that, all in one breath.)
Me: I do not know.
Magistrate, as if speaking to a child:
"Mr. Dafee, you have to say Guilty or Not Guilty."
Me: I know that, your worship. I went to City Hall and asked
what that law said, and nobody there could tell me.
If you will tell me what you think I did,
I will tell you whether I think I did it.
Magistrate: That makes sense, Bailiff, find that law
and tell the court what it says, then ask again.
Bailiff: (thumb, thumb, moisten thumb, thumb, thumb ...)
Magistrate: We don't have all day. Mr. Dafee, please sit there.
We will hear one more case and then deal with you next.
----- pause while the next case was heard -----
Magistrate: Bailiff, what is the text of that law?
Bailiff: (still turning pages ) Um, just a moment, please, your worship.
Magistrate: Mr. Dafee, we have no idea what we
think you did, so I am dismissing your case.
(smiling) And don't do it again.
Me, also smiling: Thank you, your worship.
I hope you fare as well. What did I do? Well, I parked between a corner and a sign saying, "No parking here to corner". Please do not rat on me, because I do not want to go back to 1976 and defend that case again.