Things you don't say when pulled over

puttockc

puttockc

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I'm sorry I didn't know she was your wife!

I'm not a donut truck

Your lights look tasty

Don't come any closer, I'm Jewish and can't stand pork!

Dude the gun is totally compensating for it!

So why did you leave the village people?

Spank me with your baton! My safe word is bacon.

Do you know why you pulled me over?

What's your standard bribe?
Do you accepts bj's


Anyone have a funny one ?





Sent from my my mobile using a strange app for damaged people
 
Are you the guy from the Retardid (*) Policeman videos?

(*) Spelling deliberate
 
Haha!! Love the village people line...
 
Yep, got some guns in the trunk (that one actually resulted in him deciding not to write me a lane change ticket lol) I don't recommend using it unless you're licensed to own them, are transporting them legally and got your paperwork in order ;)
 
These aren't the droids you're looking for

Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk
 
So what IS the speed limit along here, anyway? (true story, not funny)
 
you must of been doing 160 to keep up with me, good work!

Your not going to check the truck are you?

officer - "your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"
me - " well officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
 
If he says "your eyes look a little red, have you been drinking?"
Don't respond " your eyes look a little glazed, have you been eating donuts?"


If they ask "can you walk this white line?"
Dont say "No, but I could probably sniff it"


And if the K9 truck shows up, don't compliment his wife on the back.

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk
 
Got pulled over and was arrested by a hot cop. She said to me, anything you say will be held against you, so I said, your "naked body".

Sent from my LG-D803 using Tapatalk
 
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