Do it!
But don't sell the bikes. Sell the house instead...
:headbang:
But don't sell the bikes. Sell the house instead...
:headbang:
Quitting Your Job
- Thread starter esphoto
- Start date
Ethereal
Well-known member
Prenuptial on all your entered the marriage with expectantly if you already own a house... If not once married its all 50/50 and you lose out big time. If he/she cant do that because it causes trust issues then cut your losses now. 15 years With my wife, 10 married and I got ****ed. Never think you really know someone... I even payed off her school $30k fml
I know you know what you want to do already, you're just looking for possible blowback or other options you may not have considered. Depending on how big your company is, you may have access to other resources e.g. applying to other internal postings, HR resolution of the abuse problem (never gone this route myself, but have never had a demon boss either), potential help in the mental health department (access to counseling/therapy etc).
I'm in a vaguely similar situation myself though (management is not an issue) and if I had your escape route I would take it in a second
I had a riding buddy that said the same thing, about getting prenups once you get married. This was of course, before he was even married. He's married now and has a son though, I hope he took his own advice. LOL. It's too bad he gave up riding ever since he started a family, I would've like to see a follow up.
J_F
Guest
prenup can help up to a point
in a real fight, everything is open to negotiation and litigation
so things you think may be rock solid untouchables under the prenup,
can and do come back into play when the lawyers get at it
funny things happen to a gal when they realize they are not where they want to be in life
they get terrible advice from the friend network, and are further enabled by a lawyer who
encourages them to do terrible things you would not think them capable of
Same for me. I quit a senior level management job, and started out on my own a decade ago. Largely it was to support my Autistic son, who has struggled in school and I 'got' him a bit better than my wife. Making 1/2 of what I used to make, but zero regrets.
Ethereal
Well-known member
Hidden cash. Out of site out of mind. If your get served divorce papers withdraw it all or loose it. I payed her schooling, the house, the bills. Funded her business start up. I played fair and had to pay her WTF????? Always protect yourself and your kids. No matter how much you love someone now, it all changes. Your self and kids are all that counts in the end
This is all my own opinion too based on my experience and 4 of my friends. We were all "In Love" things all changed for all of us.
Hating your job and spending that much time on the commute - that's a no brainer OP.
You don't have to love what you do but at least be comfortable. Anxiety every morning, before work is definitely not the way to live.
Personally I cut off any job that takes me more than half hour to get to (without traffic issues).
Making money is good but time is even more valuable to me.
You don't have to love what you do but at least be comfortable. Anxiety every morning, before work is definitely not the way to live.
Personally I cut off any job that takes me more than half hour to get to (without traffic issues).
Making money is good but time is even more valuable to me.
J_F
Guest
my lawyer said to think of family law as a pendulum,
since forever it swung the way to men as women had always been property with no rights
not long ago it swung the other way and is making up for the time where women had no rights
and lets face it, without family law to take care of women and kids, there are many scumbags
out there that walk away from the family expecting to be responsibility free
good friend of mine went through it a few years before me, had been a homeowner and good saver
prior to the marriage, then things went south 3 years after the kid was born, but he had a prenup
he was as cooperative with her as could be, did up a spreadsheet showing assets and liabilities since the marriage,
and when she agreed he cut her a cheque for her half the home equity and savings plus all other assets since the marriage
that should be it right? wrong, she came back with claims demanding 100% child custody rights
claimed her career had been damaged because she took maternity leave to raise his kid
and as such was entitled to spousal support for 10 years
so after getting the cheque, her lawyer was prepared to go to family court and leave him without his kid
and paying over half his salary to her in child/spousal support
ended up settling it with split custody and no spousal support
how did he get that deal? cash, from his savings, that had been shielded in the prenup
ended up paying her a lump sum to have the ability to see his son
I learned from this, as any man should, like you said, any whiff of a lawyer involved, secure assets
and never give anything unless it's part of the final separation agreement
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Don't, it happens more often than people think, in my opinion. We are definitely not talking lotto jack pot territory, that's for sure ... LOL
Riceburner
Well-known member
Over 50% of marriages/unions end in divorce or separation. The odds aren't in your favour. A prenup only goes so far. Keep all financial records of your pre-marriage assets forever....and secured somewhere else only you can access. Keep separate bank accounts as well as joint "working" account for day to day stuff that you both contribute to. I'd also say keep some hidden assets. If things go south it's there and if they don't you tap into it as needed. The pendulum definitely has swung away from men's rights in a marriage/family. Maybe someday it will equalize in the middle.
malamute62
Well-known member
I had 15 years with my first company , including a move here from England , but when I found myself unhappy every day then I quit. I had no job to go to but I knew it was not worth my health to stay a day longer. The second I made the decision I felt the weight lift from my shoulders - never imagined that was a real feeling. Have been with one company since then ,17 years ,but know I would do the same again if it came to it.
Ethereal
Well-known member
They get paid $300/hr to advise you. $1000/hr in court. The longer things go the more gravy you pour. I opted for no lawer. In the end my ex and I worked **** out without her lawyer as I was correcting her lawyers mistakes. Even when you have a lawyer they too are protecting themselves before they help you...
The only winners in a divorce are the lawyers. The bigger the fight, the more they win (often to the point of neither of the previously married couple getting anything from the asset pool).
It's interesting to see how quickly this thread went from "I hate my job" to "never get married". From my experience, friends divorcing have gone as expected (if, at the beginning you asked "why the hell?", it didn't last long).
Money helps marriages get through rough spots. A lack of money at the same time as marital strife can be enough to ruin many relationships. Not saying you need to be rich, but being poor sucks (especially if you have climbed above and dropped back down). If family gross income can get in the ballpark of six figures and both partners are smart about life, money shouldn't be the straw that breaks the relationship.
Back to the OP, it's good that you have a potential job, but it may be worth looking around a bit before committing. Maybe you can find something closer to you in your field so money stays similar (assuming you want to stay in that field).
Thank you everyone.
I truly appreciate you all sharing you insight and life experiences with me. I'm only in my early 30's and have not yet had to make such a life changing decision like this especially since 2.5 years ago my wife (well common law but same ish...we are committed to each other through thick and thin) bought a house so the stresses and financial burdens weigh a bit more then they did in my 20's when I would have just said "screw it" so easily. Thankfully my wife is supportive of the move if that is what I choose, she's struggled with mental health and depression a lot of her life so she understands...although not overly happy with the reduction of income of course. The kicker is that I would be making half of what I do now, although it might just be a stepping stone to the right career.
I truly appreciate you all sharing you insight and life experiences with me. I'm only in my early 30's and have not yet had to make such a life changing decision like this especially since 2.5 years ago my wife (well common law but same ish...we are committed to each other through thick and thin) bought a house so the stresses and financial burdens weigh a bit more then they did in my 20's when I would have just said "screw it" so easily. Thankfully my wife is supportive of the move if that is what I choose, she's struggled with mental health and depression a lot of her life so she understands...although not overly happy with the reduction of income of course. The kicker is that I would be making half of what I do now, although it might just be a stepping stone to the right career.
JTR
Well-known member
I can't say that selling or even mothballing the bikes is necessary or even reasonable. Why would somebody have to get rid of one of the cheapest methods of commuting possible? Why mothball something that costs so little to enjoy? Especially when switching jobs would allow an extra 20 hours a week with which to enjoy it. Call it cheap therapy.
Maybe it's just me, but my bike uses 5 cents of fuel per km. It'd be a real hard sell to get me to give that up.
Depends on the bike.
Some Superbikes get 30 mpg using premium gas. A Honda Civic gets 35 mpg using low octane.
Some bikes costs more to insure than a family sedan.
Plus you can't ride them in the wintertime, so you'll need a car anyway.
Some Superbikes get 30 mpg using premium gas. A Honda Civic gets 35 mpg using low octane.
Some bikes costs more to insure than a family sedan.
Plus you can't ride them in the wintertime, so you'll need a car anyway.
A close friend practices family law, and he spends a substantial amount of time trying to talk people out of doing heinous, stupid and costly things.
Many people dig in their heels and hold out for their "reality" of what is fair and just.
His job isn't as easy as it would seem.
Anyways, I'm coming up on 30 years of wedded bliss, having quit the job that wasn't working out 5 years ago. The manager moved on shortly after and that area became somewhat better for those who came after me.
