Please copy and paste this text if I've ****ed up privacy settings and it can't be shared. Almost exactly a week since the incident. Almost a week of unending pain. Of heartache that is just in the next room, banging away, scrunching through the walls, because I can’t bear to deal with it yet.
My medical staff have been for the most part wonderful, very compassionate and patient. It’s been hard to explain to every new person that comes on shift exactly how bad things are, and how much pain I’m in, and to see their eyes open wide as they finally get it.
And that is just my physical injuries
Today I got news that I have been searching for, since I got in. Which is somebody, anybody is going to take care of my medivac back home. As you can imagine insurance is very complicated. Everyday, the pain meds work a little bit better. Every day I can wiggle my fingers and toes a little bit better. Everyday my 4 hour pain cycle becomes a little more predictable.
I oscillate between despair, and anger. Knowing full well that It’s a person’s state of mind that is the best indicator of recovery in early days.
I’m also thinking a lot about riding, about all those people who told me how dangerous it was. Who gave me that look we have all seen when they find out I’m a father, husband and a rider.
Then I think about the smile on Linda’s face when she would get off her bike. How insistent she was that she come with me on this trip, and that no matter how cold,dirty or frustrated we were, riding was this thing that brought us together. I think about all of the joys that riding brought me over the years. Whether that was touring with other people or wandering through the Appalachians myself, learning to ride on the track or doing my own mechanical work on the bikes. Motorcycling has changed me; there is no getting around it. I don’t know if I’ll ever ride again. That is for future Omar to figure out, but right now I want to.
I also want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who has reached out. It’s meant the world to me – it has honestly probably meant the world to me. Please keep reaching out I need you all, I need you all so very badly. Don’t let compassion fatigue become a thing. Don’t let me be that disabled friend you used to have. Stay with me, I need you. I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to directly get back to all of you. I’m trying. Up until an hour ago, I didn’t even know if I would be able to get back home.
Please continue to reach out to me. Please keep Linda in your thoughts. I will let everyone know as soon as I’m home.
With all my gratitude,
O
