Plugs 3 & 4 do smell of gas, and I do smell gas down the spark plug holes after running her on two cylinders for ~10 seconds.
And yes, I believe I've tried every combination - sidestand up with bike on centrestand, sidestand down with bike in neutral, sidestand down with bike in gear (no start), clutch pulled in, clutch not pulled in, etc. When it does start, it's always only on cylinders 1&2, and there's this chirping sound if I try to rev up.
Bike currently starts without the choke on. As in, I haven't had to try using the choke. FJ's engine behaved similarly - it only needed the choke in sub-10c temps.
I'm surprised it starts at all with only two firing cylinders.