Need Legal HELP!!!!

**** the middle east, go to Indonesia... they do not have an extradition treaty with Canada (or USA or UK), it's dirt cheap, and the women are gorgeous. I knew lots of guys there running from child support and alimony starting their 2nd lives.

MLadin said:
Disappear into the middle east. Sounds like staying here is a life of lose, lose, lose. Quatar looks nice. Seriously.

https://m.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/
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Joe Bass said:
Dumb question guys: she took off with op's kids for a couple years ,with no communication, now she's back and he's gonna have to give her money? Wtf?

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If your wife books it, you need to call the cops and your lawyer. Get it on record, you want to see or have your kids. Take the steps to do so. She can claim you are a drunk, you are abusive, you gamble etc. And you can sling the mud back if you care to. It's doesn't get anybody far. In the end, if you do nothing, the courts have little to no sympathy.



happycrappy said:
Surprised nobody mentioned the mediation process...

Like Nakkers, I opted out of the assets, took all the debts, and after a single meeting with her lawyer, started the child support stuff immediately. The numbers are very easy to calculate. Alimony is a different animal, as are "special" costs relating to children, and her ability to earn.

In a nutshell though, and my case was very unique but I will say this: No matter how hard, always do your best to negotiate, and maintain civility for the children. The money doesn't mean **** when it comes down to it. Obviously it sounds like legal advice is your number one priority right now, and as others have said, be prepared to cough up support payments over the previous time. Another big thing to remember is that the court will advocate for children on every level, including their right to see the parents. Don't give them a reason not to.

Incidentally, I'm a single Dad to a pretty damn awesome autistic lad, 5 years into my separation. My final divorce papers are now complete, with no custody order and no contest for anything else. And I never once darkened the door of a court or a lawyers office. Never missed a payment, and even now with the court reviewing the final portion of this, I was overpaying a bit. Opting not to "fight" likely saved me 50 grand in legal battles, not to mention the soul-crushing reality of living through huge stress. We get along better now than when married, lol
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HC,


I was going to mention it but, it looked a little too far gone. If the separation was a little more recent, mediation would definitely be the way to go. The wage earner typically foots the bill or it's split between both parties. Also helps manage the expectations of both parties depending how bad things are between the two.
 
Its all ok until somebody calls a lawyer. But you have to call a lawyer. Its easy for everybody to say be business like about it, but at some point there should have been some something to get you together in the first place. Now that that 'something' is past, let your lawyer think for you.
My only advice is think big picture and long term, I see so many get into a beat down over 'stuff'. Stuff that can be easily replaced.
Never send an email or leave a phone message unless it says happy birthday, your paper trail can hang you. They have lawyers for people that dont have money for a lawyer, they wont be the best one you can hire, but your going to need one.
 
First find out what she really wants and if things are not civil between the two of you, do all communication by email and if you have to meet in person tape record the conversation; this is for your protection. Unless the mother is a danger to the child NOW and there is proof of that danger you will not get custody. The court will say the child has been in a stable enviroment for two years and will not uproot the child unless the child is in danger.
Not sure what your expectations are but if its to see your child every other weekend and pay support then you don't need a lawyer. Google federal child support guidelines and the tables are there. Try and see if she will forego the back child support for the two years you had no contact. Once child support has been established then its the section 7 special expenses that you have to worry about if she brings it up. If she has a lawyer then it will be an issue. Google the definition to see if there are s.7 expenses.
If you want more than every other weekend with the child then it gets complicated and very expensive; you will need a lawyer. A really good lawyer is about $500+ an hour and a average lawyer is about $300 per hour.
If you're Downtown T.O. then you're at 311 Jarvis and they have lots of help. Eg. Student lawyer to help you fill in the forms, other courts should have help.
Last week was my last day in court and it lasted for almost 21 years. If you need help with the basic PM me.
Remember the court does not care about you only the best interest of the child or thats what they like to hide behind. You gross so much you pay so much and thats the end of it. Always pay by cheques so you have proof of payments, never give cash. If it goes to court most likely they will garnish your wages. Good luck

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Oh boy ... where to start. Everyone's got good suggestions but what I learned in the end is to not fight it. My ex has brain-washed my 2 kids too all in the name of more time with them which = more child support.

They both think I'm an awful father I'm sure but when you look after their best interests LONG-TERM and she just gives in to their immediate whims you end up being the bad guy.

I rarely see my kids now but I take solace knowing that 1 day they'll see through it all and come back ... but of course by then, the child support will be long done so she wins.

The system really is prejudiced against fathers based on gender roles from 40-50 years ago. I predict one day there'll be a class-action lawsuit against the Gov't by all the fathers that have gotten wrongfully treated, both financially and emotionally. In fact, if anyone wants to start one, I'm there!
 
LBV said:
I predict one day there'll be a class-action lawsuit against the Gov't by all the fathers that have gotten wrongfully treated, both financially and emotionally. In fact, if anyone wants to start one, I'm there!
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There use to be a father's rights group that would stand with signs at the corner of Guelph Line and Fairview on Saturday mornings. If I was waiting for the light and there was one standing on the island beside the turning lane I'd roll down the window and tell him "I'm a personal friend of The Legend" (see my post above). They would look at me and say "The Legend?". "My buddy. No alimony, plus he got custody of his kids, and the Baby Bonus cheques". They'd just stand there stunned.
 
That's classic!

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Kinda sad that groups like ROK are turning up, but this thread is such a fine example of why.

There are only two good suggestions in this thread.
 
Thanks everybody. Have already done most of what was suggested. Money in trust for support, done. Called cops when I went to visit and her apartment was empty, they didn't care, wouldn't consider him(my son) missing. CAS did not consider the abusive things she would tell him about me, her family, my family abuse, though their own guidelines clearly indicate that it is. Lawyers are unaffordable.
I have found some leads as to where she works, so if I can get the paper work figured out on my own I know where to serve her.
I live in the south Lake Simcoe horseshoe, if anybody knows of a lawyer who does pro-bono work(or needs cabinets built for trade) send their info please. Other wise lets wrap this up.
Thanks to everyone for your help.
 
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