Mental Health for the holidays

LePhillou said:
That's so hard.

My wife had what they thought was fibromyalgia a few years back. She was in the worst job she'd ever had, he stress levels were off the roof. The site of her 4 surgeries (bone transplant and all) was also physically flaring like nobody's business, but the nerve medication was having little to no effect, she ended up in crutches to commute to work by transit. Eventually had to go on Short term disability.
Long story short, being removed from the environment fixed it all, she changed jobs a few times and then became self employed but those symptoms NEVER returned, thankfully.

Now with the anxiety and upbringing you alluded too i understand it would be quite hard to manage if/when anything goes wrong, so i hope they'll be able to find coping mechanisms that will work for them without having to always revert back to the safety nets.

I know of a kid's friend, her mom is a behavioural therapist, the friend (who's like an aunt/close family to the kid) is also an ABA therapist... and the kid has huge/crippling anxiety but the parents are walking around it like eggshells. It got triggered during covid and kiddo has missing out on school, social aspects of her life that you can't get back... and we're talking about educated parents that are well off, get her treatment with counselling and meds and what not. So even with a great "traditional environment" it can happen. You can do what you can and as long as you did what you could without burning yourself out, you can be proud that you're at least there to help? Some people just quit on situations like this :(

It's not worth it for you to worry about what you can't change.
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A number of years ago I phoned a friend to see how things were going. He said he was nuts busy at work because another techie had died.

The coworker was at a family picnic / fishing day and one of his nephews fell into the river. He jumped in to save the kid but he couldn't swim either.

They both drowned.

The moral of this is that you only add to the burden if you expend more resources than you have in hand. Sometimes it's a tough call.
 
nakkers said:
Ain’t gonna lie, this time of year is a tough one.

I’ve got a messed up adult kid that showed up worse for wear and they need more help than I can provide and it’s testing everyone’s nerves to the max.

Kid has drug and mental issues. They are 22 and don’t have any life skills and collecting ODSP for severe anxiety and fibromyalgia. Chronic pot smoker with little to no ambition. This all developed being raised by my ex and the kid being kept from me until things got out of control.

They know all the right things to say to work the system and when they have to do something outside their comfort zone, the aliments flair up and reasoning/excuses to avoid anything kicks in.

They arrived at this point on their own. They had every opportunity for support and success but, it’s never been enough and expect everyone to pick up the pieces.

Diving into the underbelly of this at this time of year is stressful. Understand and appreciate all resources are stretched beyond reason. They are too far gone for the pull up your boot straps and get a job and get a place of your own.

Trying to find a group home with the support they need will prove to be a long wait. Kicking them back to their mother will certainly result in them going back to their old ways. The missus just left the house to avoid a blow out.

We have lots of friends and family for support but, the affect this has on everyone really takes its toll.
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Late to this, sorry to hear. That's a real tough one.

I feel for you.

Sometimes it's nice to unload to a bunch of semi-strangers than burden the people around you. I get it.
 
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