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Jokes

Some lawyer jokes.

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"

Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"

Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."


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A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues.

"I'm too young to die. I'm only 55."

"Fifty-five?" says God.

"No, according to our calculations, you're 82."

"How'd you get that?" the lawyer asks.

God: "We added up your time sheets."
 
This could be modified for ducati/mv but I'm too lazy.

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This is not a joke.
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