I understand the handlebars but why the second engine? Does passenger get to deafen people on the sidewalk too?
Jokes
- Thread starter ifiddles
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I know I'll get burned for this one, but...
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8.1K views · 1.7K reactions | I laughed way too much editing this 😂☠️ For real though, why do Harley riders never give the biker nod back? 🤔 WRONG ANSWERS ONLY ⬇️ 📸 @nathan_lowe_photography @wolliboudoir Did you know you can save 15% off your @he
I laughed way too much editing this 😂☠️ For real though, why do Harley riders never give the biker nod back? 🤔 WRONG ANSWERS ONLY ⬇️ 📸 @nathan_lowe_photography @wolliboudoir Did you know you can...
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Didn’t know where to put this…here…boat thread….so many choices.
Green Meenie
Well-known member
Green Meenie
Well-known member
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local store manager:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
A Jew, a Hindu and a politician go hiking in Tennessee but get lost. It's getting dark when they come across an old farm.
They explain their predicament to the farmer who says they're welcome to stay but he only has two spare beds and one will have to sleep in the barn. They look at each other for a moment and the Hindu says he'll sleep in the barn and they all retire to bed.
Ten minutes later there's knock at the door. Opening it, it's the Hindu. He explains there is a cow in the barn and since they are sacred he can't sleep there. The Jew says he'll sleep in the barn and everyone retires again.
Ten minutes later there's a knock at the door and it's the Jew. He explains there's a pig in the barn and since they are unclean he can't sleep there. The politician says he'll sleep in the barn and they all retire.
Ten minutes later there's a knock at the door and it's the cow and the pig.
They explain their predicament to the farmer who says they're welcome to stay but he only has two spare beds and one will have to sleep in the barn. They look at each other for a moment and the Hindu says he'll sleep in the barn and they all retire to bed.
Ten minutes later there's knock at the door. Opening it, it's the Hindu. He explains there is a cow in the barn and since they are sacred he can't sleep there. The Jew says he'll sleep in the barn and everyone retires again.
Ten minutes later there's a knock at the door and it's the Jew. He explains there's a pig in the barn and since they are unclean he can't sleep there. The politician says he'll sleep in the barn and they all retire.
Ten minutes later there's a knock at the door and it's the cow and the pig.
