Not the same because in one case it's easy to keep the kid home, de-louse them, and return them to school. In the other case the child's life is threatened. There is no harm in a PB&J kid eating them at home because there are numerous alternatives they can eat at school. PS, if a child dies do you think it might have an effect on "everyone else"?
There are many other solutions to the peanut allergy problem as well including simply ensuring that those parents who push to allow peanuts in school also are criminally liable for murder if their childs peanuts kill another child.
Oh wait, said parents want their "rights" but of course don't want the responsibility that comes with it, kinda sounds like your OP mother.
While we're at it, let's also do the following:
1. Raise speed limits around school zones, I'm mean, who wants to be inconvenienced and have to slow down just because there are kids running around, just because your kid might be stupid enough to run out on the road doesn't mean I should have to slow down......
2. Eliminate crossing guards and yard monitors cuz I don't want to pay taxes for these expensive people just because some want their kids to be safe while transporting their PB&J's
3. Arm the peanut allergy kids so at least they can fight back with a life threatening implement of their own, I mean, why should the PB&J kids have all the power?
I can feed my kids whatever I'd like at home, I have nooooo problem sending them to school without PB&J's. They've done just fine for years, as are 10's of thousands of other kids each and every school day.