How do you tell a close friend he's a slob?

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Tell it to him straight; I did to mine.... and he decided to ditch our group of friends. Haven't lost any sleep over it, my group of friends actually looks more presentable without him. Now it isn't awkward when we meet for business lunch/dinners in business clothes or suits and he shows up in a football jersey getting drool-drunk.

Just because he's "your boy" doesn't mean you have to put up with his embarrassment. I had enough of my past-friend's "yo dawg" and "ah sheeeeat, I bought som RIMS, yo" garbage, so we basically told him to grow up because the nice ways didn't do anything. He has a UofT degree, but is still at some crappy retail job pushing carts and filling bags, the same one he got when he was 16 and is now 28.

He's happy with his life and getting high with 17/18 year olds, so good for him.
 
I agree with this ^

I have paid off more than a few of old friend's credit cards and bailed a few out of jail. At some point you gotta accept the fact that you now lead different lives.
 
OpenGambit said:
I agree with this ^

I have paid off more than a few of old friend's credit cards and bailed a few out of jail. At some point you gotta accept the fact that you now lead different lives.
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Sad but true:(
 
ep1x said:
Maybe you can answer this for me, because I always scratch my head and think of theories and hypothesis' whenever I see it.

A group of 5-10+ skinny women, tall, brunette/blondes with c36 boobs hanging together, and the 1 behemoth of a woman tags along. Why!?
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Why does it matter what someone looks like? If you get along and like to hang out together then that's all that matters!!


Cat13 said:
I like it more as this 'awesome people hang with awesome people and shallow people hang out elsewhere'
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Totally agree with you on this!!!
 
I hate to say it OP, but each of your threads reflects your age. Don't take this as an insult, it's not meant to be.

My opinion... If you have to ask a forum how to tell your friend to "man-up", then you're not qualified to give him the message.

killerkeith said:
I would invite an attractive lady friend over for a mini intervention. Begin the intervention by asking your attractive lady friend questions like:
"Do you like fat guys?"
"Do you like unemployed fat guys?"
"Do you like unemployed dirty fat guys who don't wash the skid marks from their shorts?"
"Do you like unemployed dirty fat guys who don't wash the skid marks from their shorts who live with there parents?"

If she's in a bikini, that drives home the point even more.

You're Welcome.
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To comments to this post

1. We should become friends
2. Even though I I'm employed, fit and don't live with my parents, I could really use this type of talk from one of your attractive lady friends in a bikini... you know, just so I don't fall into such a slump.

OpenGambit said:
I have paid off more than a few of old friend's credit cards and bailed a few out of jail. At some point you gotta accept the fact that you now lead different lives.
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I could use a friend like you too... just so I can rack up a credit card debt and land myself in jail all worry free
 
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One of the hardest things in life is seeing and wanting to help someone and not doing anything about it. But that is what you have to do. Wait until your friend is ready to make a change and then help them when they are looking for it. Until then, let the poor bugger enjoy getting high and being a slob. It's not a bad thing.

On a side note, if your buddy is complaining about not finding a job and how his life is in ruins, then tell the dumb puck to wake up or you don't want to hear him complain anymore. I let my friends rant about their problems once, maybe twice. After that, I ask them if they want my opinion. Regardless if they do or not, I follow through by telling them, I don't want to hear about it any more unless they take a step towards making a change. I'm not going to listen to them whine about how crappy their life is all the time. Get a cat or a dog if that's what they want out of a friendship.

JMO of course.




If so, carry on.
 
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Cat13 said:
All the trades make good money as everyone is chosing instead to get white collar jobs so the blue collar jobs are needing workers and therefore paying the ones there more money. Seriously in my second year of college one teacher told us we were all dumb and if we would smarten up we'd quit and sign up for a trade.
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I paid an HVAC tech $450+ for two visits totaling a little more than 1 hour of work. It's crazy what some of these guys make.

Cat13 said:
I like it more as this 'awesome people hang with awesome people and shallow people hang out elsewhere'
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You seem like an awesome person... we should hang out.
 
EngineerJoe said:
I paid an HVAC tech $450+ for two visits totaling a little more than 1 hour of work. It's crazy what some of these guys make.


You seem like an awesome person... we should hang out.
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She is awesome! That's why we hang:)
 
Sometimes there really isn't anything you can do. It's all a matter of if he has the motivation to actually make his life better. Unless you are willing to baby sit the guy through every step, there is not much you can do. You can try get him to read some books on how to build self confidence, even how to meet women and be succesfull.. but unless he has the motivation to do better there is a low chance he will change. It takes either a very big life situation or utter strength and courage to make these kind of changes, none of these can be done over night...

I know it sounds unfortunate but I've learned that if these people are never going to change and just stay the way they are even with all the help you trying to give, just start cutting them out from your life... I've always found that those friends who are committed to being truthful, respectful and mature are always worth keeping.... Friends who are nothing but slobs, leeches, lazy sons of a bitches with no future.... well... they don't add to your quality of life, so just stay friends but stop trying to make their life better... Only they can do that, IF they want that bad enough.
 
In the army they call these kinda (slobs) ppl bag of Sh***, and sort them out with PT and Drill...

On the other hand, like other ppl mentioned, let ur friend be until he's ready to make a change himself. Everyone has their own problems, u cant hold his hand to help him all the time.
 
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RicoChet said:
Sometimes there really isn't anything you can do. It's all a matter of if he has the motivation to actually make his life better. Unless you are willing to baby sit the guy through every step, there is not much you can do. You can try get him to read some books on how to build self confidence, even how to meet women and be succesfull.. but unless he has the motivation to do better there is a low chance he will change. It takes either a very big life situation or utter strength and courage to make these kind of changes, none of these can be done over night...

I know it sounds unfortunate but I've learned that if these people are never going to change and just stay the way they are even with all the help you trying to give, just start cutting them out from your life... I've always found that those friends who are committed to being truthful, respectful and mature are always worth keeping.... Friends who are nothing but slobs, leeches, lazy sons of a bitches with no future.... well... they don't add to your quality of life, so just stay friends but stop trying to make their life better... Only they can do that, IF they want that bad enough.
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I had a friend that was a classic alcoholic. His wife would leave him and he'd sober up til she came back then the drinking would slowly start again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat until she made a final goodbye. I tried to stick by him but I was running out of time for my own life and I was getting embarrassingly stuck in public with a stumbling drunk.

He wasn't a bad guy but he would pull down anyone that was attached to him due to his body chemistry or whatever was making him a substance abuser (Coffee, tobacco, aspirin, booze, legal Rx). I called him once in a while to see how he was and to let him know I would be there for him when and if he was prepared to make a go of things. I ended up delivering the eulogy at his funeral when he finally smoked himself to death (Emphysema).

I sincerely believe my family would have suffered if I had become his personal support staff and that it wouldn't have changed the outcome of his life.
 
kickstartt said:
In the army they call these kinda (slobs) ppl bag of Sh***, and sort them out with PT and Drill...

On the other hand, like other ppl mentioned, let ur friend be until he's ready to make a change himself. Everyone has their own problems, u cant hold his hand to help him all the time.
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Correction, they are called $h1t pumps now, and we aren't really allowed to force them to do extra PT to get them down to an acceptable level of physical ability, they just have to pass a pretty easy fitness test once a year, which they complain about.

Drill however is still used to straighten people out once in a while, and sometimes I get to giggle on the inside watching them get marched around the building!
 
EngineerJoe said:
I hate to say it OP, but each of your threads reflects your age. Don't take this as an insult, it's not meant to be.

My opinion... If you have to ask a forum how to tell your friend to "man-up", then you're not qualified to give him the message.
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Me pitching this on an internet forum is a lot better than throwing this on someone face-2-face. I wouldn't consider myself passive, but I hate it when people come to me with their problems, and i don't like annoy people about my own personal problems, unless it's generally random stupid little things like TTC drivers are *****, and I'm bored living back in Toronto ya-di-ya-da. If everyone just posted on an internet forum, then you wouldn't have to listen to it all, and pretend like you care. You could just read bits and pieces, go troll some other website, or go for a beer, and come back and continue where you left off and eventually come up with a reply.. like the good ones that were posted on this thread :), and my other threads looking for GTAM'er advice. :)

Girlfriend - i got a problem
friend- i got a problem
my roommate - i got a problemo
girls in the library talking to each other - i got a problem

^^^ Deep down, Nobody Cares!

There was a man in Xtreme Fitness a while back, complaining about his problems to people working out around him; discussing his girlfriend/marriage issues, and just acting like a dysfunctional woman who own cats. The people around him, were just pretending like they cared - all they wanted to do was complete their workout; but you have this tool who doesn't shut up and keeps blabbing. All I wanted to say was "no one wants to hear your bitching and your ****** life problems". <-- But what I Really should of said was, "go post on an internet forum, because nobody around you wants to hear this pointless air coming out of your mouth as vocabulary."

I'll never go to a friend, and waste my buddies time about what I posted, because I know he wouldn't care , and he'll most likely ask why I'm telling him this lol.

Me, I don't like to think about this stuff, so why not make a little thread about it, and have you awesome GTAM'ers post noteworthy responses on my behalf, that I will read and take in, and utilize what you guys write and tell him when he phones me up later on to do a beer downtown?

Thx Guys.
 
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I don't have time for this.
 
This thread tells me that young people nowadays can't make decisions without the interwebs.
 
^ Yup!

ep1x said:
Me pitching this on an internet forum is a lot better than throwing this on someone face-2-face.
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Either you know what needs to be done (e.g. bust his balls) and you can't bring yourself to do it, or you don't know what needs to be done. Whichever it is supports my point that you're not "qualified" or at least ready to provide the support your friend needs.
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