Ever considered leaving riding all together?

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daytona675

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Just last week, an old friend of mine passed away in a motorcycle accident. At the time, I was understandably upset, but was also trying to justify why the accident happened. I blamed lack of experience, an overly powerful SS bike (for a new rider), and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The more I think about it though, does the fact that I've ridden for a couple years more than him make me any better? What we do is dangerous, and until last week, I've been feeling invincible on 2 wheels. This really brought me back down to earth.

I got back from the viewing just a few hours ago, and it's really got me thinking. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE riding my bike. I enjoy it so much I ride to work (75km one way) as long as there's no rain in the forecast, and ride my bike on my off days regardless of weather. Over the past 2 years it's become my favourite hobby...but at the end of the day, as much as I enjoy it, I don't know how I could bare to put my mother through those tears should anything happen to me.

I'm sure you've all had important people in your lives tell you to leave to game. Help me out here, I need something to keep me in it.

Have you considered leaving? And if you have, why didn't you leave?
 
First off sorry to hear about your friend.

I guess the way I approach it, is that like you its a hobby I love, a passion, and I guess I feel like if its my time to go its my time to go.....I would prefer to live my life doing the things I love, there are many things that are dangerous in life and riding is no exception.....but I would rather know that I lived my life to the fullest knowing I enjoyed the things I love....I try and be a safe rider and take every precaution possible, but I do realize its no guarantee....I think if I was to pass my family would be upset no matter which way I went....noone is on earth for that long, and during my time here I would like to do the things that are enjoyable to me.

Hope that makes sense.

Jenn
 
daytona675 said:
The more I think about it though, does the fact that I've ridden for a couple years more than him make me any better?
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That's the definition of being better! Nothing can replace experience. Unfortunately it sounds like your friend didn't get to earn that experience before paying the ultimate price.

Everybody feels invincible until they crash. If you walk away with your life, you walk away having learne a valuable lesson also.

If I quit riding it'll be because I get tired of it, not because I stop feeling safe. And nobody important or close to me has ever asked me to stop.
 
daytona675 said:
Just last week, an old friend of mine passed away in a motorcycle accident. At the time, I was understandably upset, but was also trying to justify why the accident happened. I blamed lack of experience, an overly powerful SS bike (for a new rider), and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The more I think about it though, does the fact that I've ridden for a couple years more than him make me any better? What we do is dangerous, and until last week, I've been feeling invincible on 2 wheels. This really brought me back down to earth.

I got back from the viewing just a few hours ago, and it's really got me thinking. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE riding my bike. I enjoy it so much I ride to work (75km one way) as long as there's no rain in the forecast, and ride my bike on my off days regardless of weather. Over the past 2 years it's become my favourite hobby...but at the end of the day, as much as I enjoy it, I don't know how I could bare to put my mother through those tears should anything happen to me.

I'm sure you've all had important people in your lives tell you to leave to game. Help me out here, I need something to keep me in it.

Have you considered leaving? And if you have, why didn't you leave?
Click to expand...

Even if you decide now, you will be back eventually, its in your blood to ride. IF anything is meant to happen it will happen to you one way or another. You cannot avoid doing things because they are more dangerous then other. Flying in a plane is more dangerous then driving in a car, although most of us fly without second thought.

Each and every one of us will die eventually some sooner some later, I say live life they way you want to, without over-thinking every minor detail

PS: RIP to your friend.
 
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daytona675 said:
The more I think about it though, does the fact that I've ridden for a couple years more than him make me any better? What we do is dangerous, and until last week, I've been feeling invincible on 2 wheels. This really brought me back down to earth.
...
Have you considered leaving? And if you have, why didn't you leave?
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What we do carries more risk than driving a car. That's inherent when you give up seat belts, air bags, and a sturdy occupant compartment around you to take the hit in a crash.

That doesn't mean that riding has to be overly dangerous. You realizing that you are not invincible is part of the awareness that one needs to help avoid becoming a statistic. Your personal riding habits and awareness are what will determine your risk of crash more than anything else out there.

I've never considered leaving. I enjoy riding too much both for personal pleasure and as a very economical way to put on thousands of miles exploring the countryside around the province. I'll stop riding only when my vision and reaction times are no longer sufficient to help me offset the risks inherent to riding a motorcycle.
 
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Sorry for your loss. After a few close calls myself and recently while riding back one day from a dealer with a friend we were 10 ft away from getting destroyed waiting at an intersection to make a left turn (a van ran a RED coming from the left, right through the intersection, and the traffic going the same direction as us a pick-up plowed into that van, again it was 10ft infront of us)

I think demo rides, track days and dirt biking are good alternatives to keep you happy.
 
It was a big fight in my house the day I brought my bike home. However, my parents came to respect my decision and hoped I will live to bare them grandchildren. We head out the door everyday not knowing whether we will return safely or not. Whether we're riding, driving or taking a walk around the block. If it's your time to go, it's your time to go and believe that God will not take you unless you have fulfilled your destiny.

Riding a bike bares certain risks and we accept those risks when we go for our license, buy that bike and ride the streets. It's a rude awakening when you lose someone close to you but if you are truly passionate about the sport and enjoy it like all of us, then you should not give up. What is a life unfulfilled? It's the things we do and accomplish that define our existence and bring us happiness.

I am sorry to hear about your friend and I'm sure you're not the only one that this has happened to. Some where able to carry on with their lives, others decided to give up riding, however nothing in life is a guarantee. If you enjoy riding as much as you say you do then I see no reason why you should give it up. In the end it's your call but your friend died doing what he loved and enjoyed.

Reading a new thread in the Fallen Riders forum every day is overwhelming as it is. I can't imagine losing a close friend/relative. My deepest condolences to you, his friends and all his family members as I know the pain is too much to cope with especially if he died at a young age. May he Rest In Peace and God have mercy on his soul.

+
 
daytona, first my condolences on the loss of your friend.

In May, 2009, I got a call from a cousin in New York that one of our cousins had been killed while riding his motorcycle. An elderly lady (with a suspended/no license) made an improper right-turn going into her apartment parking lot. This call really shook me up. He was young (40 y.o.) and a father of three children.

My motorcycle course was already booked for August, 2009. I hadn't told too many people that I was taking the course. I thought, there's no way I can take the course now; get my motorcycle license :( But, it was something that I wanted (needed) to do, for me. I *really* struggled with whether to take the course or not.

So, I took the course because there are several things that I firmly believe. Everything happens for a reason. And, from the time we are born, we are destined to die. As someone else said, when our time is up, it's up. All the money in the world can't change that. "Death is no respecter of persons".

Yes, I've thought about not riding anymore, especially when reading on this forum of the "fallen riders". My Mom certainly doesn't like it. And as hypocritical as it may be, I do *not* want my son (21) to get his M-license. I do feel a twinge of nervousness whenever I get on my motorcycle, I won't lie. And I thank God everytime I leave my home and return; whether riding or driving.

When all is said and done, this, like all/most decisions in life, is something only you can decide. Perhaps this will make you an even better rider; realize that you are not "invincible" :)

Life goes on and "this too shall pass".
 
Many many years ago, it was actually my parents who suggested I get a bike to go to my job and university.believe it or not...!!! And I did that, but lived in a country where motorcycles are seen year round and are more of a means of transport.
Also, we were limited to 250cc for the first 2 years.
Fast forward to now, those years of experence hAve paid off. I know the risks and every decision I make - re: gear, speed, roads are based on my risk tolerance .
I know I could be standing waiting for the ttc and hit by a out of control car. There are risks everywhere , in everything we do - that guy who died at the baseball stadium recently, the old lady hit by the cyclist, etc.

People will have different perspectives here as its considered "a hobby" or a "sport" here.
 
daytona675 said:
Just last week, an old friend of mine passed away in a motorcycle accident. At the time, I was understandably upset, but was also trying to justify why the accident happened. I blamed lack of experience, an overly powerful SS bike (for a new rider), and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The more I think about it though, does the fact that I've ridden for a couple years more than him make me any better? What we do is dangerous, and until last week, I've been feeling invincible on 2 wheels. This really brought me back down to earth.

I got back from the viewing just a few hours ago, and it's really got me thinking. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE riding my bike. I enjoy it so much I ride to work (75km one way) as long as there's no rain in the forecast, and ride my bike on my off days regardless of weather. Over the past 2 years it's become my favourite hobby...but at the end of the day, as much as I enjoy it, I don't know how I could bare to put my mother through those tears should anything happen to me.

I'm sure you've all had important people in your lives tell you to leave to game. Help me out here, I need something to keep me in it.

Have you considered leaving? And if you have, why didn't you leave?
Click to expand...


I never considered leaving ... I have had friends go ... I have had crashes, hell I've been hit by a car ... did any of it deter me ? No, I never considered really leaving the whole riding scene .. why ? its in my blood to ride ... do whatever you feel is right of course, but me? I can't leave a bike alone
 
I'm very, very fortunate that I haven't had a friend go down and injure themselves seriously. Knock on wood.

I love the hobby, enjoy riding, love my first bike, but... I'm finding it really expensive. I've spent a lot of stray money on the bike since I bought it last June. Don't get me wrong, I love it and have no regrets, but the sport's costs (insurance) and buy-in are taxing

I'm lucky that my fiancee enjoys riding with me and that she's considering taking the course after her degree is done. She's expressed interest in getting a bike. However, when we finally settle down and have kids, I think I might take a break from the sport.

Oh well, gotta get riding and enjoy the moment.
 
I gave up riding in my early twenties after I got t-boned by a preoccupied mom who was distracted by her kids. My bike was destroyed but I was uninjured. I quickly realized that when riding you are very vulnerable to other driver's mistakes, and I was not Ok with the feeling of vulnerability. This was an unacceptable feeling for me. I was not mature enough or experienced enough to be able to read traffic sufficiently and avoid a potential crash situation before it happens, and I knew it. I also realized that I was not mature enough to suppress the urge to negatively react to bad driving, when others tried to kill me, and I knew it. So I quit.

The feeling of freedom and the ability to air my head out called me back to riding. The risks are not reduced. Far from it; They are increased because I live in Scarborough. Riding requires a level of maturity and the intimate understanding that the smallest car can easily destroy the largest motorcycle. Now when I get cut off or someone tries to kill me I can almost always successfully resist the urge to do something stupid.

To repeatedly turn the other cheek and not negatively react requires maturity, humility and self-confidence. If you cannot do this, then it is better to quit rather than risk life and limb. Drivers will not change their behaviour, but you can change yours.
 
Whats the point in living if you don't get to enjoy the things you love?
Just ask yourself, how much do you love riding?

Roller coasters are dangerous, white water rafting is dangerous, heck skiing is dangerous, but we don't stop doing those things because if we did, we wouldn't be living life. Can't avoid living life cuz its dangerous. Just use your head, calculate risk and do your due diligence. Nothing more you can do.

Thats my 0.02 anyway.
 
It really depends on what you get out of it. I know some folks that have a bike in the garage and never get out. I'm not long back after a long hiatius and I can't imagine ever living without a bike again. It's part of the family and life now. My wife and kids all enjoy it. Knowing the dangers, I know my kids will ride. Barring the financial costs of insurance, it's likely a long while before that becomes a reality.

But at the end of the day, if your heart isn't in it, it isn't in it. Park it for a while and reflect a bit.

PS. There was a time when clipping apexes was my sole purpose for riding. I still like lean a few corners once in a while but, I'm just as happy putting along on a country road, with my knees in the breeze.

RIP to your friend. Hope you find the answers you're looking for.


Cheers.
 
yea, the day I die....

I had a 23 yr old cousin die in a single vehicle 18 wheeler accident. Even being in the biggest vehicle on the road didn't help him that day...
 
I was contemplating making the exact same thread. Reading the fallen riders section ( been a lot of entries so far this year, including track days ) and also reading experiences online about people that have been in tragic accidents reminds me about my own that happened just last year, which side lined me for about 8 months. I bought my new bike this year, and consider myself a spirited rider when I do go. I have been very apprehensive lately riding though. Making corners thinking about the condition of the road, gravel on the road, animals crossing, cars in the oncoming lane, all of the factors everytime I tip the bike into a sharp corner. Getting into an accident and being killed is one thing, it's another being in an extremely tragic motorcycle accident, and surviving with tons of physical ailments and multiple surgeries / hospital visits.

I love riding and seeing the scenery, but with all the stupid drivers on the road, and the failing road conditions, at what cost is it that I get to enjoy this ?. In my accident last year, it was not my fault at all, and I still left with broken bones, and even this year we have seen 2 motorcycle trainers ( god bless Liz ) go down with it not being their fault at all. I considered track days but I bought my bike for A) A nice scenic ride with friends and B) Seeing the world and experiencing new destinations ( I also enjoy going fast, hence why I would not buy a HD, or any other tourer. )

I was riding my motorcycle every single day for the past few years in the summer. Ride to work, to the gym, friends place, even throw a backpack on and just get some quick groceries. Now I think my bike has been out a total of maybe 10 times this whole summer so far. It's not the feeling that I don't want to ride..... it's the sinking pit in my stomach of not trusting anyone else on the road at all, and having to pay with my body, which I've looked after quite well, for some morons mistake while he makes a blind lane change or texts on his phone approaching a red light.
 
Sorry to hear about your friend.

I know people that absolutely love riding and I know other people who just like it. I would hate to die for something I only sort of liked. Like everyone's saying, you have to weigh it and figure out whether the pleasure outweighs it - it certainly does for me. I read a study once that said I was more likely to get into an accident in your 2nd and 3rd season (because of how comfortable people tend to get on their bike)...and that sucks.

People ask me all the time whether it bugs me that I have a heightened chance of dying. And I say that riding would be a good way of dying. I'd rather die riding than from a car accident, getting shot, falling off a balcony, etc. In my opinion, it's one of the better ways to die (although accident pictures might seem to suggest otherwise), 'cause at least I was happy just before it happened (:D). The scariest thing for me isn't dying...it's surviving with missing limbs/becoming a paraplegic.

In the words of Vlad: "Some people never live because they're too busy dying".

But then again, I'm young and don't have a family - all of this might change when that day comes. Older people have considerably more to live for :p. With all of that said, every couple of weeks, I re-evaluate whether riding's still worth it for me. If I'm gonna die riding, I'm gonna make sure it was worth it. ;)
 
KawasakiGal said:
First off sorry to hear about your friend.

I guess the way I approach it, is that like you its a hobby I love, a passion, and I guess I feel like if its my time to go its my time to go.....I would prefer to live my life doing the things I love, there are many things that are dangerous in life and riding is no exception.....but I would rather know that I lived my life to the fullest knowing I enjoyed the things I love....I try and be a safe rider and take every precaution possible, but I do realize its no guarantee....I think if I was to pass my family would be upset no matter which way I went....noone is on earth for that long, and during my time here I would like to do the things that are enjoyable to me.

Hope that makes sense.

Jenn
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Very sorry the hear about your friend.
I'm all in with Jenn on this one.You cant live your life thinking about the what if's.You have one shot at your existence so you need to make it count.Your life can end at any time be it a stroke,heart attack ,slipping in the shower or a bike accident it will happen and experiencing as much as you can and doing the things you love is the only control you have.When your time comes there is nothing anyone can do to stop it so get your bucket list together because the clock is ticking
 
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Sorry to hear about your friend may he rest in peace.

It is your decision at the end of the day. But please don't make that decision when you are giving in to fear. Take yourself out of your situation for a moment and imagine if the unfortunate passing of your friend never happened. Use the same perspective you gained from this experience that brought you down to reality and make that decision. The recent passing of Liz Metcalfe taught me that even if you were 30 years more experienced in riding, when it's time to go, you will go. So the risks are known for what it is, just as driving on the 401 is a lot more dangerous than flying a cesna for the first time, yet we drive for granted on the 401 everyday and never take the chance to go fly a cesna. Take some time off to reflect if you wish.

To answer your question, yes I think about quitting everyday, but I am able to recognize that the thought is fueled by fear, and I refuse to give in to the slavery of fear. Good luck making your decision.
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