If that guy had any cojones, he would kick the door down and show her whos boss.
Divorce / separation question
- Thread starter nobbie48
- Start date
This is correct, it's the date that is decided that they are no longer a couple.
What would that solve? Who would that benefit other than her? All it shows is that he has a temper and would give her reason to call the cops.
Cool heads are what's needed in this situation.
It's not so easy once the locks are changed.
Exactly the route he's taking. If he kicked in the door and it swung and hit her the system would have him for lunch. I think she would love it if he smacked her. She's play it like a violin.
My mother recently went through a divorce and to make matters worse her attorney was a crazy fu**in b***h who tried to screw her over which resulted in a legal battle with the lawyer! But I digress...
I don't remember why but it is supposed to be in your best interest to stay in the matrimonial home at this stage. However, I believe if one person moves out the person remaining in the home is responsible for paying all utility bills, maintenance, etc during that time.
Also, regarding equalization of net family assets, it's not a simple 50/50 split of everything. The separate assets (including income) that each spouse brought into the marriage is a factor as well as how financially dependent one spouse is on the other.
Tell your friend to do his best to settle this out of court during mediation, no matter how crazy this trick is. If it goes to court it can get really expensive really fast and could draw on for years. The only ones who win in this scenario are the eff'ing lawyers. Once my mother's relationship with the lawyer was severed she and her ex-husband settled to mutual satisfaction within 2 days! Lawyers only want a fight because it's most profitable for them.
One more piece of advice, tell your friend to really shop around for a family lawyer who can be trusted (ideally via referral from a friend or something). The Upper Law Society of Canada won't protect you against corrupt lawyers. It's an organization of lawyers built to protect lawyers.
I don't remember why but it is supposed to be in your best interest to stay in the matrimonial home at this stage. However, I believe if one person moves out the person remaining in the home is responsible for paying all utility bills, maintenance, etc during that time.
Also, regarding equalization of net family assets, it's not a simple 50/50 split of everything. The separate assets (including income) that each spouse brought into the marriage is a factor as well as how financially dependent one spouse is on the other.
Tell your friend to do his best to settle this out of court during mediation, no matter how crazy this trick is. If it goes to court it can get really expensive really fast and could draw on for years. The only ones who win in this scenario are the eff'ing lawyers. Once my mother's relationship with the lawyer was severed she and her ex-husband settled to mutual satisfaction within 2 days! Lawyers only want a fight because it's most profitable for them.
One more piece of advice, tell your friend to really shop around for a family lawyer who can be trusted (ideally via referral from a friend or something). The Upper Law Society of Canada won't protect you against corrupt lawyers. It's an organization of lawyers built to protect lawyers.
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Call a locksmith tell them you lost your keys and get them to open the door and change the locks for you (bill her credit card). When she gets home, answer the door after she has tried to maneuver her non functional keys in the new lock. Greet her with a smile and ask her if she would like to come in.
Depending on background of the relationship he may have a shot at Exclusive Possession of the home. Her changing the locks and denying him access could help his case. Have him look into it.
One would have to see this couple in their better days to truly understand the situation. Posting details would be inappropriate but envision Abbot and Costello's "Who's on first" blended with the shopping channel and Judge Judy.To give you an idea:
http://www.radiolovers.com/shows/B/bickersons/BICKERSNxx-xx-xx_CarRepairsTeachingBlancheToDrive.mp3
I have come up with a way to help him without getting tied to a long distance battle.
http://www.radiolovers.com/shows/B/bickersons/BICKERSNxx-xx-xx_CarRepairsTeachingBlancheToDrive.mp3
I have come up with a way to help him without getting tied to a long distance battle.
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He should stay away from her, contact a lawyer and get advice about the lock out situation.
The issue with going back in is all she has to do on a friday night is run into a wall, call the cops and your buddy has a nice weekend away in jail. Once she cries abuse HE HAS TO PROVE otherwise and will be in a world of hurt. I've heard some horror stories from a divorce lawyer that you would not believe. They all end with the dude getting screwed.
The issue with going back in is all she has to do on a friday night is run into a wall, call the cops and your buddy has a nice weekend away in jail. Once she cries abuse HE HAS TO PROVE otherwise and will be in a world of hurt. I've heard some horror stories from a divorce lawyer that you would not believe. They all end with the dude getting screwed.
+++1 I've SEEN these stories - you have to leave to save yourself. All she has to do is scratch herself with a fork and accuse you of assault and the onus is yours to prove innocence as you spend time in jail with false charges. You are even more ****ed if you are a firearms owner.
Some good advice and some bad advice being provided here. I’m following this with interest as I was locked out of my house in 2010. Ironically I was coming home from my M test when I was locked out so it was premeditated.
The changing of locks of your house (rent or ownership) is illegal. In fact it’s a criminal act (Mischief CC Section 430). I was able to legitimately get in (long story) and she called the police. They didn’t charge her. This was my introduction to how the “justice system” is completely skewed in favour of women in domestic matters. What she did was clearly illegal. Although I was legally entitled to stay, the cops suggested that I leave as she could raise false allegations later on and I’d be in silver bracelets. As said, with the justice system as it is today a guy can’t win in these situations – even the cops advice acknowledges that – as did their inactions. Kicking down the door to gain access is a very bad idea.
It was suggested that the one who stays in the house pays the utilities. Wrong. The person whose name the bills are in pays. The utilities don’t care who lives there.
100% agree re mediation. There are two types – binding and arbitration. Get there SAP with all the unresolved issues (don’t go day 1 – first get all the issue on the table) as only the lawyers get rich with the back and forth. IMO the court mandated Case and Settlement Conferences are a joke – but they will give you a very good idea where the other side stands. Mediation is impartial and it didn’t go her way. The mediator saw the greed of her position (she has lawyer that gives her very bad advice creating a sense of entitlement) and most issues were resolved in my favour. I wish I had gone that route sooner and saved a lot of money and stress. From mediation you will have a Settlement Agreement under which you will operate until you get a Separation Agreement. CRA also accepts the Settlement Agreement for income tax matters. Another advantage of the Settlement Agreement is that it underpins the Separation Agreement and reduces the drafting costs as you will have already settled the key issues. Mediation is more money up front but the quicker you can settle the issues and end the legal process the cheaper it will be in the long run – and getting the stress of it over with.
The date of separation can be agreed by both parties to be what they agree it to be – all it does is establish the date of valuation of assets and eligibility for divorce. The markets were gyrating so my pension assets were swinging wildly. Equalization of family assets will balance out matrimonial assets – but that can be tricky if there is ownership of a business as some of my friends have found out.
I could go on forever. If both parties are fair and just in their expectations, it can be done very fast and very inexpensively but as soon as one party is greedy and unrealistic, you have to lawyer up and defend your position. The process is ugly, very stressful and expensive. I just wish my other side was fairer (as the mediators view suggested).
The changing of locks of your house (rent or ownership) is illegal. In fact it’s a criminal act (Mischief CC Section 430). I was able to legitimately get in (long story) and she called the police. They didn’t charge her. This was my introduction to how the “justice system” is completely skewed in favour of women in domestic matters. What she did was clearly illegal. Although I was legally entitled to stay, the cops suggested that I leave as she could raise false allegations later on and I’d be in silver bracelets. As said, with the justice system as it is today a guy can’t win in these situations – even the cops advice acknowledges that – as did their inactions. Kicking down the door to gain access is a very bad idea.
It was suggested that the one who stays in the house pays the utilities. Wrong. The person whose name the bills are in pays. The utilities don’t care who lives there.
100% agree re mediation. There are two types – binding and arbitration. Get there SAP with all the unresolved issues (don’t go day 1 – first get all the issue on the table) as only the lawyers get rich with the back and forth. IMO the court mandated Case and Settlement Conferences are a joke – but they will give you a very good idea where the other side stands. Mediation is impartial and it didn’t go her way. The mediator saw the greed of her position (she has lawyer that gives her very bad advice creating a sense of entitlement) and most issues were resolved in my favour. I wish I had gone that route sooner and saved a lot of money and stress. From mediation you will have a Settlement Agreement under which you will operate until you get a Separation Agreement. CRA also accepts the Settlement Agreement for income tax matters. Another advantage of the Settlement Agreement is that it underpins the Separation Agreement and reduces the drafting costs as you will have already settled the key issues. Mediation is more money up front but the quicker you can settle the issues and end the legal process the cheaper it will be in the long run – and getting the stress of it over with.
The date of separation can be agreed by both parties to be what they agree it to be – all it does is establish the date of valuation of assets and eligibility for divorce. The markets were gyrating so my pension assets were swinging wildly. Equalization of family assets will balance out matrimonial assets – but that can be tricky if there is ownership of a business as some of my friends have found out.
I could go on forever. If both parties are fair and just in their expectations, it can be done very fast and very inexpensively but as soon as one party is greedy and unrealistic, you have to lawyer up and defend your position. The process is ugly, very stressful and expensive. I just wish my other side was fairer (as the mediators view suggested).
The old friend of a friend bit but the couple realized the marriage was dead. They sat down and worked it out. The kids needed an in house mom more than dad and dad could live with relatives not too far away while mom kept the house. He would have quality time with the kids and contribute financially. All was agreed on. Then a firend of the wife spooked her into a lawyer so he had to get a lawyer. When everything was settled they had to sell the house to pay the lawyers. Uncontested divorces are relatively cheap if everything is worked out and you don't get vindictive or paranoid.
Tornique
Well-known member
The reason behind this is to mitigate the risk of the other person filing that you have abandoned the house. If that works then the house is in the other name only and you get nada. You can still fight this in court... but lets be honest, non of us average joe's have the money to throw around to make this option worth while.
OpenGambit
Banned
Please provide the legal basis for this opinion.
so +++1 Too bad they got derailed. I have a collegue who went the uncontested route - they wrote their own Seperation Agreement - ageed and were done - with a child involved to boot! They each did have counsel review it and they could not endorse it because they were hoping for more fees. While they may have gaps in the agreements they are civil and smart about it and spent about $1000 or so - collectively.
My ex also has recently divorced friend - and got the divorce tactics playbook (I'm buddies with the guy). All it did was complicate issues that did NOTHING to advance the separation process.
Now now - we don't have to be Perry Mason about this - there are a LOT of urban myths about separation out there so lets dispel them constructively - but OpenGambit is right - there is no house abondonment issues that prejudice your case if you leave. I did so out out of self preservation - as hard as it was as I also had two almost teenaged kids - you cannot believe how hard that is but you have to look at the long term picture.
please provide credentials for your opinion
spending gobs of time debating on a motorcycle forum smells like hungry paralegal or crusty retired hack
