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Riceburner

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Unused Second-hand Skateboard (Toronto)

Date: 2012-02-06, 10:30AM EST

Normally the aforementioned juxtaposed description would be a grammatical no-no, however I submit for your perusal and possible solicitation, the story of how a second-hand skateboard could possible be unused.

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away in Little Italy, a boy (let's call him "Dick", for anonymizing sake and vaguely comical purposes) asked a girl "Jane" (pretty self explanatory)to leave her cute, cheap and conveniently located apartment to move in with him. During their whirlwind courtship, "Dick" gave Jane a t-shirt to sleep in. He was too fat to fit in it anymore, and it tented her petite figure in a very flattering manner. It soon became her favorite t-shirt, and a constant reminder of her love for "Dick".

After months of living happily together, Jane realised that "Dick" seemed to prefer the company of men and had more affectations to homosexuality than a breeder relationship, although this was something Jane was alright within normal circumstances, it still grated that "Dick" decided that his love for men was something he'd rather deny and live a convenient lie. Also, Jane likes to get boned every now and then, and "Dick" seemed allergic to her pussy, Jane was NOT alright with THAT. Once his acceptance to a certain local power was assured, he left "Jane" bereft of any physical affection seemingly content to ignore the obvious for what might have gone on forever. However, Jane felt this was unacceptable and this particular lie was one she could not participate in. In a show of drama and flourish, she told "Dick", "No more! Not one minute longer will I be part of this! Leave! Now! You have lied to us both, and unless I put a stop to this farce, you will go on lying. To me, and to yourself! Get OUT!!". "Dick" cried, he cried and cried. "Dick" packed his clothes in fear; fear of loss, fear of change, fear of failing and fear that his belt wouldn't match his shoes.

When all was said and done and we went our separate ways, the bastard came back and took my favorite t-shirt "because he didn't want to leave anything behind", yet he overlooked his skateboard, curtains his mother bought him, a painting a friend made for him, and various other sentimental items in a completely transparent act of spite. I'm sorry I popped your fantasy bubble, but straight men down wear little cowboy hats and dance around naked at parties with other men. My friends are gay, as you well know, they fought tooth and nail for some respect from the straight community (i.e the rest of the world, an uphill battle which if you cared to take part in, would be pretty ****ing painstaking) and you go on living in the closet like a conservative politician. Living your life the way you do is slap in the face of everyone I know who's had to fight to be themselves, but asking me to be part of it is downright deplorable. I won't live a lie with you or for you.

P.S. Slightly used skateboard free to a good home.
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forced to take my grandfather's M6 to school stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...
 
Roasted said:
forced to take my grandfather's M6 to school stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...
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say wut??? :shock:
 
Roasted said:
forced to take my grandfather's M6 to school stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...
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huh?
 

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Roasted said:
forced to take my grandfather's M6 to school stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...
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Meth is a terrible drug..................
 
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