Mental Health for the holidays

M

mimico_polak

Well-known member
Site Supporter
So it's that time of year where we spend time with our loved ones, friends, family, and those that are near and dear to us.

Unfortunately some of us are not that fortunate, and whether not having a close circle of friends to turn to, or being physically far away from those that we care about, make sure to look out for one another, and those around you to ensure that they're supported in their time of need.

Sometimes it's just a small change in attitude / behaviour which can provide us the warning signs of others in distress. Sometimes they will indirectly ask for help, but we need to be vigilant and able to spot those quiet cries for help.

So while this may be nothing, if someone here needs any type of support reach out. Whether to me, or others on the site, just reach out.

I've met some wonderful people on this site, and encourage anyone struggling to make sure that you seek any support you may be lacking.
 
crankcall said:
@mimico , your a good guy . Happy holidays .


Sent from my iPhone using GTAMotorcycle.com
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Pssssst. You're not supposed to tell him ..

@mimico_polak BurgeRR flakey, something something bad father for going riding once a month something something.

🫶🏼
 
Ain’t gonna lie, this time of year is a tough one.

I’ve got a messed up adult kid that showed up worse for wear and they need more help than I can provide and it’s testing everyone’s nerves to the max.

Kid has drug and mental issues. They are 22 and don’t have any life skills and collecting ODSP for severe anxiety and fibromyalgia. Chronic pot smoker with little to no ambition. This all developed being raised by my ex and the kid being kept from me until things got out of control.

They know all the right things to say to work the system and when they have to do something outside their comfort zone, the aliments flair up and reasoning/excuses to avoid anything kicks in.

They arrived at this point on their own. They had every opportunity for support and success but, it’s never been enough and expect everyone to pick up the pieces.

Diving into the underbelly of this at this time of year is stressful. Understand and appreciate all resources are stretched beyond reason. They are too far gone for the pull up your boot straps and get a job and get a place of your own.

Trying to find a group home with the support they need will prove to be a long wait. Kicking them back to their mother will certainly result in them going back to their old ways. The missus just left the house to avoid a blow out.

We have lots of friends and family for support but, the affect this has on everyone really takes its toll.
 
Crap. Sorry the hear @nakkers.
Not sure how I could help other then send positive vibes your way.
If there is anything you do need but is not so obvious, just let us know. I'm sure myself or others will jump at the opportunity to help.

All the best.
 
I'm very sorry to hear that @nakkers. We have some troubled relatives also in our family (with 10 aunts and uncles + 2-3 kids/couple + grandkids) and it does take it's toll.

I wish you all the best with that, as I know it can be tough but worth it when it all works out. We lost a troubled cousin to suicide a few years ago. 19 years old...guy left a note saying he saw everything he needed to see. I won't get into the details, but he romanticized his death and followed through.

@klr_guy Appreciate it, but I can't imagine the pain you're going through and I'm always around if you need to chat / bounce an idea off me.
 
Thanks for the positive thoughts folks. I’m always a bit reluctant to share stuff like that but, it was actually helpful to post and get it off my mind. Checking back in was reassuring.


Some days are better than others but, still working with the kid to try and work towards finding their way in this world and appreciating no one is giving you a life to live. You need to make it for yourself.

Introduced them to a friend that became a paraplegic from a drunk driver and they are very successful in their life despite the tragedy of being wheel chair bound and the years of recovery after the accident. They have a very fulfilling life but, they also take the initiative to make it that way for them. It wasn’t handed to them and they work damn hard to enjoy the life they have.


It’s a process with a lot of ups and downs. Reached out to the work wellness support that is available to counselling and setting up some sessions to help work through the rough patches.


Cheers to everyone and wish you all a wonderful holiday season. Looking forward to seeing some of you out on the road next year. If you ever need info on where to go in the Niagara Region, I’m happy to help! Lord knows I’m familiar with the wineries and some of the back roads for riding.


Sean
 
It's a bit personal but I've spent most of my life compensating for the short comings of others. Growing up in a single family home had its issues. I

In spite of it I have been very fortunate. I've had bad days and made bad days for others. No one seriously wounded as far as I know.

One of the best bits of advice I've received was "Keep your eye on the donut, not the hole." It isn't easy when one has had to accept personal losses so close to this supposedly happy time.
 
Evoex said:
Pssssst. You're not supposed to tell him ..

@mimico_polak BurgeRR flakey, something something bad father for going riding once a month something something.

🫶🏼
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I thought it was Pspspspspsps!!!

No wait…. That’s for cats…

I concur though - Mimico_Bald_Polinsky_Guy is alright.
 
nakkers said:
We have lots of friends and family for support but, the affect this has on everyone really takes its toll.
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Hey boss.. sorry to hear man…
I’m not a huge fan of Christmas in general for other reasons..

If you’re up for a beer, let me know!
 
BigEvilDoer said:
Hey boss.. sorry to hear man…
I’m not a huge fan of Christmas in general for other reasons..

If you’re up for a beer, let me know!
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Likewise. If anybody out London way is feeling low and thinks a beer, a garage tour and a symphatetic ear would help please feel free to PM me.
I'm always up to kick tires and swap lies.
 
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nakkers said:
Ain’t gonna lie, this time of year is a tough one.

I’ve got a messed up adult kid that showed up worse for wear and they need more help than I can provide and it’s testing everyone’s nerves to the max.

Kid has drug and mental issues. They are 22 and don’t have any life skills and collecting ODSP for severe anxiety and fibromyalgia. Chronic pot smoker with little to no ambition. This all developed being raised by my ex and the kid being kept from me until things got out of control.

They know all the right things to say to work the system and when they have to do something outside their comfort zone, the aliments flair up and reasoning/excuses to avoid anything kicks in.

They arrived at this point on their own. They had every opportunity for support and success but, it’s never been enough and expect everyone to pick up the pieces.

Diving into the underbelly of this at this time of year is stressful. Understand and appreciate all resources are stretched beyond reason. They are too far gone for the pull up your boot straps and get a job and get a place of your own.

Trying to find a group home with the support they need will prove to be a long wait. Kicking them back to their mother will certainly result in them going back to their old ways. The missus just left the house to avoid a blow out.

We have lots of friends and family for support but, the affect this has on everyone really takes its toll.
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Man, that hurts to hear.

I helped a couple of friends in situations like this, I gave their boys a job, menial as they were it gave them some purpose and lot more financial freedom than ODSP. Both boys latched on to working and eventually took responsibility for their own well being. It took a couple of years and there were issues, but both are independent now at 30, happy (but still smoke too much).

The ODSP thing can be essential support, but it can also be a curse and a trap, particularly for young people. It’s a double edged sword.

Hope you can find the support you need, and know there are always friends to lean on here.
 
Mad Mike said:
Man, that hurts to hear.

I helped a couple of friends in situations like this, I gave their boys a job, menial as they were it gave them some purpose and lot more financial freedom than ODSP. Both boys latched on to working and eventually took responsibility for their own well being. It took a couple of years and there were issues, but both are independent now at 30, happy (but still smoke too much).

The ODSP thing can be essential support, but it can also be a curse and a trap, particularly for young people. It’s a double edged sword.

Hope you can find the support you need, and know there are always friends to lean on here.
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Thanks Mike.

A small update. We had a chat and they shared some positive feedback with their physical health from walking and riding a bicycle. They can shower without using their chair. After years of shuffling back and forth from their room to go outside to smoke, they are getting more exercise. Not to mention, the house isn’t exactly around the corner from anything. It’s 1.8 km walk or bike ride to Ridgeway’s downtown and I don’t drive them to get their supply.

It might be the time of year and the rate of progress slower than we like. The toll on our mental health has been trying to say the least. Looking forward to riding season and grabbing a beer with some members in the new year!
 
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