*LOUSY* Situation... what to do????

  • Thread starter Thread starter Bigevildoer
  • Start date Start date
B

Bigevildoer

Guest
Forum Sponsor
Just found out that there's a visitation/funeral for one of my best friend's/mentor's daughter.
This fellow was my kickboxing coach for years until I had to quit due to an unrelated permanent injury.


The service wasn't finalized until earlier today...


I've been scheduled to referee a hockey game which would start at the same time as the end of the service...
Should I not show up at the game and stiff 30 kids (1 team Waterloo, other travelling from Sarnia to Waterloo) out of a referee and pay my proper respects or leave the service early to go referee????

and yes, I've called and texted all the other people who are qualified to do this level of hockey.... nobody else available...

AARRGHHH.... sooo unhappy right now... :(
 
Last edited:
Bigevildoer said:
Just found out that there's a visitation/funeral for one of my best friend's/mentor's daughter.
This fellow was my kickboxing coach for years until I had to quit due to an unrelated permanent injury.


The service wasn't finalized until earlier today...


I've been scheduled to referee a hockey game which would start at the same time as the end of the service...
Should I not show up at the game and stiff 30 kids (1 team Waterloo, other travelling from Sarnia to Waterloo) out of a referee and pay my proper respects or leave the service early to go referee????

and yes, I've called and texted all the other people who are qualified to do this level of hockey.... nobody else available...

AARRGHHH.... sooo unhappy right now... :(
Click to expand...
The respects are payed in your hearth and not just by been on the place, don't leave the kids hanging
 
best friend's/mentor's daughter, my kickboxing coach for years
Click to expand...

I'd go and pay your respects...leave early if you have to, but honestly whats $30 for reffing a game going to mean?
Sometimes people don't get to say their goodbyes to their friends, family, people they knew etc - you have that chance, you'll feel better about it
 
S500K said:
I'd go and pay your respects...leave early if you have to, but honestly whats $30 for reffing a game going to mean?
Sometimes people don't get to say their goodbyes to their friends, family, people they knew etc - you have that chance, you'll feel better about it
Click to expand...

$30 I couldn't care less about...
15 kids travelling from Sarnia to Waterloo causes me concern.
 
First off Tim, sorry for the loss. RIP.
Secondly - the group of refs you're with suck *** imo. I realize there's not an ambundance of you guys in stripes, but considering the circumstances, I'd think at least one would step up and fill in for you - that's sad, but think of the kids, and parents. I'd hate to be the 'one' ref that would have to do the game solo. I'd fill for you if I had a ticket.
Thirdly - I'm with Paulo on this one, though - and yes, that scares me. ;)
 
I would ref hockey.

Maybe this will help.

I am against an adjournment. The day of judgment is either approaching, or it is not. If it is not, there is no cause of an adjournment: if it is, I choose to be found doing my duty. I wish therefore that candles may be brought.
  • Abraham Davenport's response to a call for adjourning the Connecticut State Council because of fears that the deep darkness might be a sign that the Last Judgement was approaching
 
Last edited:
The spirits of the dead aren't bound to their vessels, you don't have to be present to say good bye, that is for the living. What would she want you to do? keep true to your commitments and those that depend on you or go see many people say good bye to her shell?


Gary said:
First off Tim, sorry for the loss. RIP.
Secondly - the group of refs you're with suck *** imo. I realize there's not an ambundance of you guys in stripes, but considering the circumstances, I'd think at least one would step up and fill in for you - that's sad, but think of the kids, and parents. I'd hate to be the 'one' ref that would have to do the game solo. I'd fill for you if I had a ticket.
Thirdly - I'm with Paulo on this one, though - and yes, that scares me. ;)
Click to expand...


the other ref's may have equally importent commitments too...


one thing you can do, if you do not want to disrupt the service by leaving early, show up before and disappear before it starts.
 
CruisnGrrl said:
one thing you can do, if you do not want to disrupt the service by leaving early, show up before and disappear before it starts.
Click to expand...

I have to be honest here. I'm not sure what the big deal is. Do this... seems pretty simple to me, but then again everyone tells me I'm a heartless bastard, so.....
 
Bigevildoer said:
Just found out that there's a visitation/funeral for one of my best friend's/mentor's daughter.
This fellow was my kickboxing coach for years until I had to quit due to an unrelated permanent injury.
Click to expand...

I would talk to your best friend, really he would be the only one you'd be offending if you were a no show to the funeral.
 
Ref the game, offer condolences some other time, maybe make a personal visit. In a big crowd on a day like this, you might not even be noticed.
 
Talk to your friend and then ref the game with a clear conscience. He will have lots of support at the visitation but could likely use some in the following days. Sometimes life sucks but it does go on.
 
Gary said:
Secondly - the group of refs you're with suck *** imo.
Click to expand...

It's an automated system - we log in, block off when we're not available. We need a replacement, the system populates a list of referees who are not blocked off and not on the ice and shows them to you. In this case, there are 2 officials available of the appropriate qualifications, but they only referee girls' hockey, not boys. Have a call in to our referee in chief about maybe him skating the game...

Cruisingrrl - not so much saying goodbye to a shell as being their for support for my friend who's been there for me in the past.

Mikbusa - have talked to him on the phone, but not in person yet.... and the crowd will be small....

At the moment, I think I'm going to the visitation and the service. Hope the service will be short and scoot out at best opportunity. Told my ref partners I'll more than likely be late. I can't shirk the game - a team and families coming 2.5 hours for a game, spending their time and money. Will return to my friend immediately afterwards.

Thanks for the input everyone.
Much appreciated.
 
...
 
mikbusa said:
Ref the game, offer condolences some other time, maybe make a personal visit. In a big crowd on a day like this, you might not even be noticed.
Click to expand...

Yeah..I agree. Sometimes you think it's a big deal and when you get there, there are 100 or 200 people and nobody even remembers you showed up. Can always send flowers and a card..or visit as you say.
 
A little luck came my way.
Somebody came through and took the game...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top Bottom