Adoption in Ontario

Jampy00

Jampy00

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Friends are looking to potentially adopt, I think it's a public adoption?

Anyone here have any experience on this topic that could offer some insight?
I'm pleased they want to help a child in need, but I am sure there are lots of pitfalls and heartache involved.
 
Sorry that I can't help but I'm happy someone has a good heart out there.
Not sure what the process is like but I'm sure it's not easy and quick.
 
I glad there are better people in the world than me . My three connections to adopted children hasn’t had great endings , but to be honest the adopted kids had a variety of challenges ( fetal alcohol syndrome ect) that often don’t become apparent till 3-4 yrs of age .
Glad people can do it , at the core I’m pretty selfish.


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It's been awhile since my wife and I looked into it but I think that the biggest negatives was:
-If a birth parent gets their act together then they will likely take the kid back. This happened to a co-worker of my mom who had a nursery all ready multiple times, brought home a baby, bonded, then had to give it back
-required parenting courses seemed like a pita
 
woot said:
It's been awhile since my wife and I looked into it but I think that the biggest negatives was:
-If a birth parent gets their act together then they will likely take the kid back. This happened to a co-worker of my mom who had a nursery all ready multiple times, brought home a baby, bonded, then had to give it back
-required parenting courses seemed like a pita
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It's my understanding they do not want an infant. But I think that would be a terrible experience for all involved.
 
Until today, I've not known anyone that was adopted. But can see that @Evoex had great parents and is a good person so I'm very happy to see instances of it being a new positive to the world.

I have unfortunately seen it go the other way. Anywhere from parents deciding that the adoption / child isn't for them, the child seeing that the adopting parents aren't for them, birth parents demanding their children back, agencies taking advantage of desperate parents in overseas adoptions, and in particular health issues not being disclosed to the parents (although they were prepared for the possibility). Also seen parents get to the last stages of the adoption, and were rejected for 'minor' reasons (unless I didn't get the full story).

It is a very tedious, long, costly, and potentially heartbreaking process.

But I'm sure I can come up with a price for one of mine! LoL (I kid 100%. I love all my children).
 
mimico_polak said:
Until today, I've not known anyone that was adopted. But can see that @Evoex had great parents and is a good person so I'm very happy to see instances of it being a new positive to the world.

I have unfortunately seen it go the other way. Anywhere from parents deciding that the adoption / child isn't for them, the child seeing that the adopting parents aren't for them, birth parents demanding their children back, agencies taking advantage of desperate parents in overseas adoptions, and in particular health issues not being disclosed to the parents (although they were prepared for the possibility). Also seen parents get to the last stages of the adoption, and were rejected for 'minor' reasons (unless I didn't get the full story).

It is a very tedious, long, costly, and potentially heartbreaking process.

But I'm sure I can come up with a price for one of mine! LoL (I kid 100%. I love all my children).
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From what I've been told public adoption has no costs, but private adoption (Infant) does.
 
In my circle of friends three worked out aces, another one good but with problems not related to adoption, another one a heartbreak being adopted at birth and turning out non verbal autistic.

You don't tend to hear about the good ones because they come out normal so ignore my head counts.
 
Mrs and I went through the process of fostering/adopting a teenager through the CAS a few years ago. It was a very rewarding and life changing experience, with lot's of nuances. Feel free to message me if you have any questions and I'm happy to help, because I don't feel it's appropriate to post my opinions or experiences about a subject like this on a public forum.
 
My wife recently talked about one of her coworkers that adopted a baby. Birth mom was on everything. Baby was addicted to narcotics and booze and had FASD. Adoptive parents worked their ***** off to rehab kid and help them make the best of their life. Kid has permanent issues (really small and frail amongst other things). I'm sure of the order of things but birth mom and bio dad tried to get kid back at some point. Tough emotionally but that failed. CAS called adoptive parent and asked if they would take sibling that is a few years older and living in the drug den. Adoptive parents took in second sibling. CAS called multiple times after that bio mom had birthed another sick kid and could adoptive family take it. They said no to the rest as there was no end in sight and while blood related to her kids they had no emotional connection. It's still tough to know kids are suffering and you can't do much about it.

A acquaintance has adopted a hoard (10+). Most (all?) from other countries. He's a pastor.

EDIT:
Baby was adopted more than decade ago. My original post was unclear.
 
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GreyGhost said:
My wife recently talked about one of her coworkers that adopted a baby. Birth mom was on everything. Baby was addicted to narcotics and booze and had FASD. Adoptive parents worked their ***** off to rehab kid and help them make the best of their life. Kid has permanent issues (really small and frail amongst other things). I'm sure of the order of things but birth mom and bio dad tried to get kid back at some point. Tough emotionally but that failed. CAS called adoptive parent and asked if they would take sibling that is a few years older and living in the drug den. Adoptive parents took in second sibling. CAS called multiple times after that bio mom had birthed another sick kid and could adoptive family take it. They said no to the rest as there was no end in sight and while blood related to her kids they had no emotional connection. It's still tough to know kids are suffering and you can't do much about it.

A acquaintance has adopted a hoard (10+). Most (all?) from other countries. He's a pastor.

EDIT:
Baby was adopted more than decade ago. My original post was unclear.
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The fetal drug and alcohol syndromes fall on the birth mother and her brain is probably scrambled in other ways. Dad in the long run was just a sperm donor. The kid has a life sentence.

I have the deepest admiration for those that can cope with the situation. When you see them with their challenged kids in public there always seems to be an extra stress on the parents. If they inconvenience you try to think what it would be like if you were in their shoes and cut them as much slack as you can.
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