family tensions | GTAMotorcycle.com

family tensions

H

highflyer

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I'm sure many of us here have had opposition from family members regarding motorcycle riding. How did you all deal with it?

My mother strongly opposes me riding a bike because of safety concerns. She always worries about stupid drivers running over me, so going for a lower cc bike isn't going to help me ease her worry.

I'm not looking for a solution involving me paying this stuff on my own as I already do. At the end of the day, I could still do whatever I want as I already live on my own and I'm financially independent. I just want to involve my mother in my decision making process simply because i love and respect her.
 
tell your mom that, motorcycling is cheaper than a car, you will take a course and that it's safer than skydiving.
 
I already did. She's not so worried about being an unsafe rider, but concerned about me exposing myself to dumb drivers without a metal box around me.
 
Tell her bicycling or walking down the road does that also...
Taking the bus/train is also putting your life in someone elses hands.
Motorcycles are a lot easier to maneuver and avoid accidents with as opposed to a car.

Tell her everything in life has risks, and when it comes to motorcycling the enjoyment and fun it brings into your life far outweighs the risks of some idiot hitting you because they're stupid (which has a very low chance of happening in the first place.) riding is a really great stress-reliever for me; and most others that ride.
 
I kept telling my parents that I'd be getting a bike, they thought I was kidding until I actually brought the bike home.
Biggest fight I had with my family in my short 26 years of existence.
I bought my bike in the fall and didn't ride till the following year.
In those long 7 months or so, I got my M1, did my M1 exist course and collected all the gear I needed.
They saw how much I wanted it but that didn't stop them from trying to persuade me to sell the bike.
They know how stubborn I can be and whatever they said went in one ear and out the other.
Purchased my insurance in March and took it easy for the first month or so. (short riders, etc.)
Until they got used to seeing me gearing up and ready to go and eventually they came to respect my decision.
It's natural for any mother to be worried about her son/daughter when engaging in such a dangerous sport.
Once they see that you really enjoy it and you're being careful/cautious they will grow to accept it.
However, they will never feel 100% secure knowing that the smallest accident could be a fatal one.

And this...
Sabex said:
Tell her bicycling or walking down the road does that also...
Click to expand...
Sabex said:
Taking the bus/train is also putting your life in someone elses hands.
Motorcycles are a lot easier to maneuver and avoid accidents with as opposed to a car.

Tell her everything in life has risks, and when it comes to motorcycling the enjoyment and fun it brings into your life far outweighs the risks of some idiot hitting you because they're stupid (which has a very low chance of happening in the first place.) riding is a really great stress-reliever for me; and most others that ride.
Click to expand...
 
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Tell her you'll wear full gear which will make you invincible.
 
@matthew: yes I can do that, no problem. But like I said, I respect her so I want to involve her as much as I can accommodate.

@sabex: Yeah I already mentioned that, but I guess she sees it as an invalid argument.

At the end of the day, I'd still go ahead with it (as a means of transportation, not a sport). I'll probably end up pissing her off but it's my decision.
 
When your family sees you engaged in riding more like a lifestyle (rather than a passing interest), they'll be a little more at ease. Therefore, you should do everything you can to develop your skills as a rider.

David Hough, a noted expert on motorcycle safety (and an accident-free rider for several decades), has said that while motorcycling is not "safe" the risks can be managed to an acceptable level. Take motorcycling seriously, treat it like a sport. Work on your craft through regular training and take a course at least once per year. Read up. Don't skimp on safety gear. Learn how to do a quick stop. Get some dirt riding experience, practice in parking lots and do track days.

But, mom will always worry!
 
2live&ride said:
It's natural for any mother to be worried about her son/daughter when engaging in such a dangerous sport.
Once they see that you really enjoy it and you're being careful/cautious they will grow to accept it.
However, they will never feel 100% secure knowing that the smallest accident could be a fatal one.
Click to expand...

This.
My family still doesn't want me riding. They try to urge me to get places via another transport method (I can't drive a car because I only have a G1 atm) and it goes as far as them offering to pay for trains/busses/other people (gas) money to take me somewhere.

My mom also worrys a lot so when I go somewhere I have to send her a txt message to let her know that I made it there fine/am okay/etc. And whenever she hears of a crash she txt's me to make sure it wasn't me and I'm okay/etc.
It does get annoying, but if all it takes is a minute or so to type out a txt and send it; and that txt will ease her mind/stop her from worrying/being anxious for hours wondering if I'm alright, then it's worth it. [[I still live with her, so she knows when I'm not around. I understand if I had my own place she wouldn't know when I'm out, thus she wouldn't really worry as much; but when she comes home and the bike isn't there her mind starts to wander.]]

They also do as much as they can to ensure my safety when riding (like offering to pay so much $ towards a needed part/etc (which is nice, considering I'm currently jobless and things cost money))
 
Just go slowly with her. A mother's respect is unarguable.

1. Get the bike and leave it in your garage. Don't backfire if she gets angry. Just be quiet.
2. After 2 days, start the engine making sure she can hear it. Shut it off after a few min.
3. Repeat step 2 for 2-3 days.
4. Repeat step 2 with garage door open for 2 days.
5. As soon you feel she is not much angry, take it out on the driveway only.
6. When step 5 is under control, ride on street for 1-2 min max.
7. Gradually increase the time.
 
highflyer said:
I'm sure many of us here have had opposition from family members regarding motorcycle riding. How did you all deal with it?
Click to expand...

Good thing that you respect your parents. You have to remember that you're their kid, and they will always worry about you. I don't think involving your parents in the "process" or showing them how much you want the bike would change anything. IMHO, suggestions like matthew's are disgusting, but to each is his own, some people have no respect for folks who raised them. My parents have always been very much against me owning a bike, not much I can do about it, trust me, I tried. Crashing and breaking bones also doesn't help.
 
Don't look for something you can't have. You're looking for your Mom to support you in a way she isn't capable right now so, don't try. She knows the effect of not supporting your hobby has on you. You have to learn to deal with that and decide how you want to move forward. Let it go. Ride.


Maybe she comes to terms with it, maybe she doesn't. Regardless, you will have to accept it's her choice to feel how she does about it. Move on.
 
always get the bike first than tell them afterwards

finish off the argument with I'm sorry you're right I'm wrong next time I'll seek your approval
 
2live&ride said:
I kept telling my parents that I'd be getting a bike, they thought I was kidding until I actually brought the bike home.
Biggest fight I had with my family in my short 26 years of existence.
Click to expand...


You just detailed the EXACT story of my situation, or that my parents haven't found out my bike is in the shed. :S And I'm 26 as well. Oh crap man, I'm worried now!
 
"Its always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission"
...

My parents aren't really against me riding because my dad rode pretty much his whole life. But my mom still worries, I try to let her know what I am up to and that I am alright as much as possible.

Cheers,
Geoff
 
Riding a motorcycle is a serious life decision. Your mother's concerns are warranted. You should always have a written will.
 
Just ride man and be as safe as you can. Family and friends may or may not come around to seeing things your way but they will all get used to it with time.
 
i stopped trying to convince them.

instead... i figured i was an adult, i found that legally i was able to make my own decisions, and then i told them what i was going to do (i didnt ask them permission), and then i did it.

when i dropped by my parents place after getting the bike i showed it to them, my mom didnt talk to me for a week, and got over it.
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